I thought I'd take a look at the hitting accomplishments of Brewer pitchers.  Which of course first brings up Jeff's favorite (and proposed starting 3rd baseman) Brooks Kieschnick.  

In two years and 133 AB, Brooks managed a .286 BA with 8 HR and 19 RBI.  On a sidenote at the time I always thought the Brewers should acquire Rick Ankiel (a LHP) and instead of going through an entire bullpen for righty/lefty matchups they could play Kieschnick and Ankiel at P/LF and rotate between hitters.  Neither would ever truely leave the game and both could pitch and hit.  I know there are some issues with this stragety, mainly keeping two pitchers semi-warm and expecting them to be effective, but the Brewers of those days were pretty pathetic and a little out of the box thinking couldn't have hurt.  Anyway, I digress....

The Brewer pitchers have been remarkable consistent over the years.  Consider the following combined stats of all pitchers not named Kieschnick:
        AB   BA   HR RBI   SO  SH
2006   310  .097  0   21  139  38
2005   321  .106  0   17  139  25
2004   294  .126  0   10  138  28
2003   299  .117  0    9  124  33
2002   296  .145  1   19  134  39
2001   304  .125  0   10  122  29
2000   306  .105  2   11  126  27
1999   304  .145  2   18  125  47
1998   315  .133  2   14  106  33
1997    18  .000  0    0   10   2 (the last year in the AL)

Sort of looks like you can pencil the Brewer batters in for a .120 BA, 15 RBI and 130 K...

Here are some single season "records":
BA (min 30 AB)  Obermueller    .385 (2004)
H                      Rusch               19  (2002, he hit .288)
HR                    Karl                  2  (1999)
RBI                   Bush/Capuano  9  (2006/2005)
BB                    Woodard           6  (1999)
SH                    Rusch              14  (2002)

One other item of note is the batting line by Paul Rigdon in 1999:  16 AB, 1HR, 2 BB, 7 SH.  7 SH in 24 total plate appearances is sort of amazing...