To Our Beloved Pittsburgh Pirates:
Thank you very much for ignoring the opportunity to simultaneously damage the front office of a division opponent while dramatically improving your own. Ignoring Jack Zduriencik's obvious interest obvious interest in your recently open GM position was a remarkably generous decision, but I'm sure you had your reasons for believing that hiring a fantastic talent evaluator was a bad idea.
It can be problematic, at times, deciding how to deploy a number of top flight prospects that arrive in the majors within a short period of time. You might even have to ask your amazingly productive SS to Center, or a rangy, fast, and powerful former 1st baseman like Corey Hart to Right Field so you can make room for your MVP candidate at 1st. And who wants the headache of fielding an MVP candidate at 1st, a ROY candidate at 3rd, and trying to decide when to call up a top flight pitching prospect to an already winning team? I mean, decisions, decisions.
All of those burdens would have been placed on you by Jack if you had hired him, and I'm sure you didn't need the hassle. We, the Milwaukee Brewers, will try to carry on under the burden of a farm system overflowing with the talent discovered by good old Jack. While it may sound odd to you, since your agenda is so different from ours, but we did want to thank you for looking elsewhere for your new GM.
Please enjoy your ongoing losing season streak in 2008, and thanks again!
Doug Melvin, et al.