The First Bloginental Blogress

When in the Course of Base-Ball events it becomes necessary for one Fanbase to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with a Manager, a decent respect to the opinions of other Fans requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are equal on the Internets, that they are endowed by their DNS Server with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Winning Baseball. — That to secure these rights, Managers are instituted, deriving their just powers from the consent of the Fans, — That whenever any Form of Management becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Bloggers to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Management, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Sanity and Winning Percentage. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Management long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Neuroticism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Management, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Brewers fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Management. The history of the present Manager of the Milwaukee Brewers is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these fans. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to sensible Bullpen Management, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Coaches to stop Base Runners of immediate and pressing importance when rounding Third Base.

He has obstructed the Administration of Journalism by refusing his Assent to Questions for purposes of Second Guessing.

For imposing Anxiety on us without our Consent.

For transporting Corey Hart and Mike Rivera beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences.

He has plundered our Confidence, ravaged our Wild Card, burnt our Bullpen, and destroyed the lives of our Fans.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united Blogs of Milwaukee, on Brew Crew Ball, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Attanasio for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Brewers fans, solemnly publish and declare, That this Base-Ball Team is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to NASCAR Nation, and that all political connection between them and Edgar Frederick Yost, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

Brew Crew Ball:
Jeff Sackmann, battlekow, roguejim


ALFO, CHEEFE

I invite any and all other Brewers bloggers to post their signatures (and any additional Facts) in the comments.

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