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Craig Counsell: Best Baseball Player Of Steroid Era

A little humor from the Onion:

NEW YORK—After the records of players who used performance-enhancing drugs are carefully removed, statistics provided by the Elias Sports Bureau indicate that lifetime .255 hitter Craig Counsell was the best player of the past 15 years. "If you judge them on the basis of pure physical ability, you're left with Craig Counsell," said ESB representative Patrick Wondolowski, adding that Counsell's 35 career home runs narrowly beat out Quinton McCracken's 21 and pitcher Glendon Rusch's three. Upon hearing the news, broadcaster Bob Uecker lauded the Brewers utilityman as "one of the best I ever saw, if we're talking about those who I can say without a doubt never took steroids. He came this close to stealing a base off of Ivan Rodriguez, and I swear I heard him foul tip a Roger Clemens fastball. The kid could flat-out steroid-free play. One time he was playing third base and he caught a Rafael Palmeiro line drive—just caught it, right in his mitt." When asked about his Hall of Fame chances, Counsell dodged the question by asking if anyone had a few bucks so he could go buy a sandwich.

 

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If I were Craig Counsell

I would be completely psyched to be in the Onion.

"You have no honor!" - McClung to Fukudome

by zsxander567 on Feb 25, 2009 1:04 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

lol

i totally just laughed out loud. im not sure if its just cuz im hammered right now or if it legitimitely was funny. but i enjoyed it. go onion, go mardi gras, and go brew crew!……..

by BrewerBlue87 on Feb 25, 2009 2:21 AM CST reply actions   0 recs

Awesome.

I wonder if this is only funny to Brewers fans?
I dont know if it was the Onion, but I seem to remember another funny article about how he is actually twelve years old…

"Get up, get up, get outta' here, GONE!!!"

by BrewerLover on Feb 25, 2009 7:04 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

1. Write the text you want to associate the link with
2. Highlight it
3. Click the little chain link in the bar between the subject and text box, it’s between the quote and the tree
4. Copy the link into the box

HTML works too.

Scored three times and detonated an indisputable in four visits to the batting box.

by Jordan M on Feb 25, 2009 7:18 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

For those who enjoy typing or forget about the button, here's the HTML way

<a href="http://whereveryouwantpeopletogo.com">link text</a>

Obscure baseball records and more at my blog, Recondite Baseball.

by TheJay on Feb 25, 2009 7:24 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Thanks

I’d give it a try right now, but linking to that article is all I’m good for.

by dickie_thon on Feb 25, 2009 7:27 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

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