Don't trip over Alcides Escobar's hose

If you missed it, the following paragraph, written by one Anthony Witrado, appeared in today's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

Escobar has all the tools. At 6 feet 1 inch and 182 pounds, he can run, he can obviously defend his position, he has an absolute hose - Hardy likes to call it a "bazooka" - and last season his stick came around when he hit .328 with 76 runs batted in. The Brewers called him up in September and he dressed for the final playoff game.

8 months ago KLSnow 21 comments 0 recs |

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Defends his position

“Yeah, Kendall, short is the toughest. I don’t care what you say about your squatting. Your position sucks.”

That whole paragraph makes me embarrassed to speak English.

The artist formerly known as jihad.

by Jordan M on Mar 9, 2009 11:36 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs

What's that from?

by tcyoung on Mar 9, 2009 11:47 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

Witrado said

he can obviously defend his position

I just think it was a strange way to say “he is good at defense”. I’m picturing Alcides verbally defending his position.

The artist formerly known as jihad.

by Jordan M on Mar 9, 2009 3:20 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

ahhh

I had to read the word short with emphasis. It made no sense before I realized that short was short for shortstop.

by tcyoung on Mar 9, 2009 6:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

I guess "Stop" could also be short for shortstop

But then it’d get confused with “Backstop.”

"The reports are that he is getting better. The definition of better is nebulous."

by KLSnow on Mar 9, 2009 7:48 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

We could go all Yost...

and call the infield positions firsty, seccy, thirdy and stoppy.

by Zeyes on Mar 9, 2009 8:41 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

I think I have it

Witrado is writing in code. He has to use the mangled phrasing to get the code to work and pass on the hidden meaning.

by Getting Yosted on Mar 9, 2009 12:14 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

“he dressed for the final playoff game”

From the story I heard, he showed up for the first few games buck-naked [insert sophomoric ‘hose’ joke here]. As a testament to how quick the kid learns, he soon figured out that he didn’t have anywhere to store his batting gloves, so he decided to try the last game with pants. Now that he’s learned that lesson, he’s unstoppable.

by DikJones on Mar 9, 2009 12:14 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

by Hyatt on Mar 9, 2009 2:22 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

Escobar's a hoser?

Obscure baseball records and more at my blog, Recondite Baseball.

by TheJay on Mar 9, 2009 3:58 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

I don't think I've ever been more worried when clicking on a post here than I just was

Or intrigued ;)

"If loving CC is wrong I do not want to be right"
"If lovin’ Braun is wrong, I want to be a repeat offender"

by kirbir on Mar 9, 2009 4:10 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

A hose???...did Escobar severely injure his throwing arm and I didn't hear about it?

Other players with absolute hoses

Ryan Braun: He loves it.

by SRB on Mar 9, 2009 9:15 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs

by Jeff Sackmann on Mar 11, 2009 8:26 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs

oh god...

That’s just really horrible. LOLTardo

I just sit back and root for the taser

by Hyatt on Mar 12, 2009 3:28 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

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