As it turns out, we talk about the Brewers a fair amount here, so if you want to learn about the team, reading the site is a pretty good start.

GM and Front Office staff: Doug Melvin and Gord Ashe currently run the team, took a lot of heat by not allegedly doing enough for the pitching staff this year, but it’s proved to be average. There is goodwill towards them currently.

Manager: We are still feeling out Macha. He’s made some good moves, some we’ve questioned, but the sample size is too small. We hate Ned Yost.

C: Jason Kendall is the Antichrist and deserves to be beaned every time he goes to the plate. I’m still debating his right to exist at the moment. He rarely contributes, and should be treated like a special olympian when he does both offensively and defensively, mostly because that’s how he plays. Mike Rivera had a decent time last year in a very limited role last year.

1B: Price is awesome. He’s fat, but he can hit the ball a really long way. Oh, and if you ever watched a broadcast, you’d know that he’s never hit a grand slam. Defensively he’s surprisingly agile, but is not good.

2B: Rickie was having a breakout year until his unfortunate wrist injury. Craig Counsell is filling in for now.

3B: Bill Hall hasn’t hit well for awhile. He can no longer hit righties, but crushes lefties. Mat Gamel has just come up. He can hit according to his minor league record, but may be the worst defender I’ve seen. I’m including Braun’s rookie year there.

SS: JJ Hardy got off to a rough start, but he can carry a team for a 2 week period of time when he gets hot. A lot of people want him to be the #2 hitter, but his skill set hasn’t proven as such. Alcedes Escobar is coming up and is very slick defensively, but JJ is Solid.

LF: Braun is the best hitter on the team, is solid defensively, and would be the best hitter in the division if not for Pujols being the best hitter of the decade. People don’t like his swagger, but fuck them. Get him out, and you won’t have a problem. He has a couple of nicknames, including “The Razor” (my own creation his rookie year, didn’t stick, but here’s hoping), The Hebrew Hammer (meh), and The King of Swagger, which could be the worst nickname for anyone, ever. Worse than Fat Elvis.

CF: Mike Cameron got off to a really hot start, but has cooled off since. He has solidified the defense in the OF. He also originated the Untucking that has led to the criticism of the Brewer’s flair. This isn’t chachke’s guys, this is the MLB. No one has flair.

RF: Corey Hart looks like a new born baby. He is good for 20/20, and has drastically improved his walk rate. I personally think he doesn’t hustle all the time in the field.

SP: Gallardo has had 3 mediocre starts in a row, but is the ace of the staff. Parra has improved since going back to the long socks look. Dave Bush can pitch 8 or 9 no hit innings if he can get out of the first unscathed. Braeden Looper is the innings eater Jeff Suppan was supposed to be. Suppan is below average, and makes too much money for a 5th starter.

RP: Trevor Hoffman is lights out. Todd Coffey is the best around and has an amazing rack. Carlos Villanueva is too inconsistent for my tastes. Jorge Julio sucks. Mitch Stetter gets lefties out. Seth McClung is really big man, and can spot start here an there. Mark DiFelice has been stable as well. I may be missing someone but they haven’t been too consequential.

Bench: Casey McGehee is a backup infielder who will lose most his playing time to Gamel. Chris Duffy is speedy and a lefty. And now Jody Gerut comes aboard with another lefty bat.

If I missed anyone, screw them