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William Shakespeare, the Journal-Sentinal and You

With Witrado entering a whole new realm of unprofessionalism, serving as an eyewitness to things he hasn't seen, and the calls for his replacement that are echoing around the world wide intertubes(or at the very least the Wisconsin wide intertubes), I ask you to vote on how the JS could possible replace the stylings of Anthony Witrado.  Sadly, the monkey used to help Yost manage last season has been hired away by the Nationals so he's not an option.

Poll
If it is true that a million monkeys banging away on a million typewriters would eventually replicate Willaim Shakespeare, what would it take to randomly generate a Witrado column?
One monkey, but only if wearing his "Numba 1 Stunnah" necklace for inspiration
30 votes
5 monkeys, 2 typewriters, a fifth of Scotch and a handful of peyote
26 votes
Gorman and the Rally Lobster
6 votes
Just Gorman
6 votes
Just the Rally Lobster
9 votes
2 millions monkeys, minimum. The guy's at least twice as creative as Bill Shakespeare
5 votes
I'm pretty sure Witrado is randomly generating his copy already
44 votes

126 votes | Poll has closed

3 recs  |  Comment 7 comments

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Can someone help an idiot out?

How does one go about opening the poll?

by Getting Yosted on Aug 6, 2009 1:22 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Fixed :)

It was stuck ending on April 9th, so now it’s August 9th

"If lovin’ Braun is wrong, I want to be a repeat offender!"

RIP Nick Adenhart - Stop Drunk Driving

by kirbir on Aug 6, 2009 1:28 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

you've had better

but i’ll still rec every time.

"That's not a weird stat. Rickie is a run-scorer," Yost said. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter," Yost told reporters. "See, you guys have no concept. He's a run-scorer. So there's nothing weird about it. That's what he does."

by Hyatt on Aug 6, 2009 6:47 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Two Witrado-isms in two days, not the best idea ever, if I’m honest…but hey, the context demanded it!

Still, I wish something can be said on his behalf for completely lying and trowing Prince and the team he covers under the bus. I appreciate that he can add a negative view, per the link in today’s Mug about him, but when that’s all you’re kind of getting in terms of his analytical reporting it becomes a monumental headache.

PensBurgh penalty - Lavender - 2 Minutes for Excessive Stanley Cup Raising.

by Lavender on Aug 6, 2009 10:02 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Depends on the monkey(s) in question

One good rally monkey is better than 1 million regular monkeys.

by Brew Angel on Aug 6, 2009 4:24 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

rec'd

because I haven’t laughed so hard for a long time….thanks!

by Oakland Brewer Fan on Aug 6, 2009 11:13 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

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