So...I'm considering blogging for this FireDougMelvin thing, because apparently my week isn't filled up enough with my quota of irrelevant bullshit. In any case, I would like my blogging name to have some meaning beyond what my brewcrewball one does, which was simply decided because I had played a game with my character name "Pags" back in the day, but that one was already claimed on cbssportsline.com, which I discovered before BCB. So...since I was a fan of the BrewCrew, I became PagsBrewCrew. Pretty lame. But that lameness is exactly why I need your help.
So, I would like to have a brand new nickname for picking apart Doug Melvin, because he should be viewed as sucking more than my nickname. This is all assuming my ideas don't suck worse than his. But without further ado (because I'm likely past the minimum word limit now) here are the options.
Deputy Braun (suggested by Fatter than Joey) - Ryan Braun and Doug Melvin had a disagreement earlier this year, at the end of which Melvin said "I'll be glad to have Ryan help if he wants to. I'll give him a badge and he can be my deputy."
I Shot the Sheriff (mine) - FtJ and I were thinking along similar wavelengths here. If Braun is the Deputy, that makes Melvin the Sheriff. And we want the Sheriff to be gone, evoking imagery of the reggae hit "I shot the sheriff" performed by Bob Marley and Eric Clapton, among others
Gord's Melon (suggested by TheJay) - Gord Ash is a potential GM-in-waiting. We don't know how good he'd be in the big seat though. On the plus side, it also suggests a career alternative to Melvin (he should be a pumpkin or watermelon farmer, because he sucks at this baseball thing)