UPDATE: I'm sick as hell today, so power rankings will come tomorrow. Sorry for the delay.
UPDATE (2): quick reminder that the ravens and falcons play in a rare thursday night game featuring a pair of good teams. Set your lineups accordingly.
UPDATE (3): Power Rankings Below. The OOOZ still leading the way in the Power Ranks, and Team of the week was Charlie's Got Wood Son, with the Steelers D Putting him over the Top. Playoff Teams as it stands right now are enboldened. Remember to have your lineups set for the Thursday Game if it affects you. And TO can eat a bag of d*cks. See, he finds the d*cks in a bin behind the bus station. Then he takes those d*cks and puts them in a bag. Then he eats them. That is what I wish for him.
I will get to the review in a moment, but I first need to tell you about this amazing experience I am currently... well, experiencing. If you don't want to read anything about the Cowboy Meltdown, scroll to the bold ANYWAY, and get to the fantasy hate for this week. I live in Dallas for work purposes. I miss Milwaukee on a daily basis, but can't pass up the opportunity here for my family. With that being said, the entertainment I am getting from the cowboys severe ineptitude is unmeasurable. It is something that I haven't experienced or enjoyed before, and the only thing I can equate it to would be the '09 Cubs meltdown.
The Cowboys came into the season with Super Bowl hopes. They were coming off a good season that seemed to point the team in the general direction of being the first team to play in a Super Bowl at home. They just drafted a highly talented WR, and had no problems at the skill positions... and in that lies the problem.
The Cowboys were built like a fantasy team. Their pass rush made up for their problems in the secondary. They had this "three headed monster" of RBs that could start on any team. They had Miles Austin, Jason Witten, and a good supporting cast. But their O-line was old. There is a differnece between veteran, and old, and when 3 of your starters are 32, you are old. The injuries started to pile up on the line, but the coaches assured the faithful, "don't worry, our shoddy preseason performances don't matter." Well, they were an indicator of what was about to come.
This team with such huge expectations is now the laughingstock of the NFL, and their fans are in full mutiny. People are calling for Jerry's head, Wade Phillips' head, OC Jason Garrett's head. And it's just blissful being witness to the whining and complaining. "Oh, we had a first place schedule." Little note about nfl scheduling. Your position in division the previous year affects just TWO of your 16 games. You play your own division for 6 games. You play a full AFC division for 4 games. You play a full NFC division for 4 games. That leaves just two games affected by your previous year finish. AND THE COWBOYS HAVEN'T EVEN PLAYED THOSE TEAMS YET!!! If Schadenfreud were net worth, I'd be Bill Gates.
They are ready to tear every coach down, get rid of talented young guys who just don't care, and build around their Core. But here's the rub... Their Core is OLD! Tony Romo is 30, Jay Ratliff will be 30 next year, as will Demarcus Ware, Terrence Newman will be 33. The problem isn't the core though, it's that they have 4 players on a team of 53 younger than these guys that could become cornerstones (Austin, Felix Jones, Dez Bryant, and Mike Jenkins). The drafting of this team has been absolutely horrible. And that falls on the GM who also happens to be the owner. You though Mike Sherman was bad, check out Jerry Jones' previous 4 drafts (I won't include this year):
06: 0 starters, 07: 3 starters (1 LB, 1 S, 1 OL, , no core players), 08: 1 starter (1 CB, and Felix Jones, 2 core players)09: 1 starter (the Kicker, and the first pick is already cut, One of the 5th rounders didn't make it out of training camp)
This is horrible. And it made it oh the more satisfying watching that decimation last night. I have written all I want on the Cowboys, but if fan reactions get better, I'll let you know. Like when the pack gets bad and the idiots say "We Should Bring Back Vince," I'll let you know if anyone advocates reanimating the corpse of Tom Landry. The best comment I saw on this was, "If you think America's Educational System is messed up, you should see our team!"
ANYWAY, time for Fantasy. Now I know my team has a lead that they will surely lose as TO is pretty much a lock to put up 9 points, so I need to have words with a couple people:
Todd Haley: Jamal Charles touches the ball 15 times and gets 100 yards. Thomas Jones touches the ball 19 times for 32 yards. WAKE THE F*CK UP YOU CAMARO DRIVING, POODLE MOLESTING, ROOFIE-DISPENSING DOUCHEBAG.
John Carlson: Gates got hurt, so I put in my reliable backup, WHO SHAT THE F*CKING BED WITH 0 POINTS?!? WTF MORON?!? 2 CATCHES FOR 9 FREAKING YARDS?!? I know Charlie Whitehurst is throwing the ball but it's called YAC YOU PUTRID SLICE OF ASS CHEESE. DIE
Ben Jarvis Green Ellis: You can't beat out Danny F*CKING WOODHEAD?!? More importantly, you can't run the ball 9 times for more than 16 F*CKING YARDS?!? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? Welcome to the bench.
I could go on, but my team will get better. Anyway, time for the games still up in the air and race for team of the week. As mentioned before, the Haynesworths need 9 from TO to catch me and the only game remotely still up in the air is the Bowes have TO, Mike Wallace, and the Steelers D to make up a 61 point deficit against my Oilers with Heath Miller left.
As for Team of the Week, My Charlie's Got Wood Son's 109 with the Steelers D seem to be the Favorite, though my Oilers could catch him with 106 and Heath Miller still going.
Power Ranks tomorrow. Begin the hate below
|Rank||Team Name||Week 9||Total Points||Wins||Wk 9 Power||Total Power Points|
|1||Big Ben's Pre-Spoog Oooz||103||1028||8||16.5||169.5|
|2||Rock out with your Crocs out||74||903||7||8||150|
|3||Cinci's Work Release Program||109||833||5||22||132.5|
|4||Stop Being Such a Kuhnt||71||825||7||7||132|
|5||Chris Henry's Moving Truck||108||857||5||20||130.5|
|6||Lawrence Taylor's After School Special||89||892||6||12.5||129|
|7||Somewhere Over Dewayne Bowe||98||823||5||15||126|
|8||It's my Vick in a box||75||804||5||9||118.5|
|9||Mark Chamura's Hot Tub Crime Machine||83||793||5||11||116.5|
|11||Gulf Coast Oilers||108||767||3||20||104|
|12||Dez My Momma's Corner||34||721||3||0||102.5|
|14||Steve McNair's Shotgun Offence||53||744||5||3||96.5|
|15||Mark Chamura's Post Prom Party||103||710||2||16.5||93|
|16||Charlie's Got Wood, Son!||119||721||4||23||92|
|18||The Wheezing Haynesworths||107||731||3||18||85.5|
|19||PATs what she said||45||694||4||1||82|
|21||Purple Drank Makes Me Jolly||68||672||4||6||74|
|22||Sacking Joe Morgan||89||658||7||12.5||72|
|23||Ed Werder's Chapstick||66||667||3||5||67.5|
|24||Addai in Your Sleep||51||538||1||2||30.5|