Thursday's Frosty Mug

A couple of days ago I noticed that I was coming up for 1,000th post on BCB. As a result, I’ve done a bit of research over the last few hours (thanks to the sub-zero temperatures keeping me off work!) to examine exactly what I’ve posted on over the months since I first came to this site. So, while noting that this post rivals anything Ryan Braun has ever done in terms of narcissism, here’s the results…

10% Comments about Russell Branyan (subset of "comments about Russell Branyan with vague homoerotic undertones" also equals 10%).
9% TWSS posts. Further analysis shows that, while each "TWSS" may or may not have been amusing, exactly none of them reflected the reality of my life. Unless I missed a "TWSS" I posted in reply to my girlfriend complaining on BCB that I spend "miles too much time on that stupid baseball and never do any housework"…
7% Saying "Recced" after Nullact posts
6% Linguistic problems. Includes repeatedly looking like an idiot due to my continuing inability to remember that "football" in America is not the same thing as it is over here
6% Relatively pointless Home Run posts – "Brauntosaurus Rex!", "McGeeeeheeeeee!", "Rickiiee!", "Corey/Caveman!".
5% "WOW~!" posts
5% Theological discussions (Pujols, Counsell)
5% Reply fails
5% Posts dedicated to the excellence of Trevor Hoffman (2009)
5% Unamusing posts "subtly" pointing out to anyone who didn’t notice that, if you look really closely, Prince Fielder is, hmmm, kinda on the large side…
4% Attempts at own sabermetric research that are easily refuted by someone within 5 minutes
4% Discussion about recipes. Primarily about correct way of cooking rhubarb.
3% Recycling jokes from @notKenMacha
3% Comments about beer, homebrew and alcohol. This also includes all posts I’ve made about Tony LaRussa. And Dikembe.
3% Pointing fun at Braun’s fashion sense (while keeping quiet that I come from a country where the main fashion icons are Groundskeeper Willie, The Proclaimers, and this pair: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/theatre/3559419/My-week-Janette-from-The-Krankies.html)
2% Detailed, well thought-out and serious commentary relating to baseball (would have been 0% had I not deliberately widened the category to include all the posts I made about Ryan Braun’s restaurant yesterday)
2% Posts where I make some hideously awful mistake, e.g. totally forgetting about the difference between the American and National Leagues
2% Arguing with Cubs fans ("kicking a drunk passed out in an alley" as ZTK correctly puts it). Mainly about 30 posts on the Jake Fox walk bases-loaded walk a year or so ago. To those who claim that hindsight shows this was a waste of time I’d reply that the loss that day eventually stopped us finishing 81-81 instead of 80-82. Enough said.
2% Deliberately posting something other than "Recced" after a Nullact post. Just to keep him on his toes, y’know…
2% Attempts to authenticate claims that Corey Hart’s frequent baserunning errors are due solely to his neolithic brain not yet understanding which order 1st, 2nd and 3rd bases come in.
2% Statements suggesting we should definitely keep Manny Parra only subsequently to argue the exact opposite after he implodes in his next start
2% Poking fun at American politics. Because, in case you never noticed, politicians in the UK are all intellectual giants and not responsible at all for a huge recession…
2% Attempts during last summer to divert conversation to the World Cup in pointless effort to prove I actually do know something about sport…
1% Unsuccessful efforts to introduce nicknames for Brewers, e.g. Todd "Espresso" Coffey, Kameron "Crap Pants" Loe (don’t ask…)
1% Joining in discussions about some local place in Milwaukee that I feel perfectly able to comment on despite a) having never been there, b) not knowing anyone who’s ever been there, c) not having a clue what or where exactly it is
1% Attempts at own sabermetric research that are not easily refuted by someone within 5 minutes (due primarily to posting at times when everyone in the US is asleep).
1% Puerile discussion with NoahJ about fancying "Plunk Everyone" (leading to entirely correct telling-off from said HBP expert)
0% Relatively pointless Home Run posts – "Gomez!".
0% Posts dedicated to the excellence of Trevor Hoffman (2010)

I did begin to search through my personal records to take the alternative approach of assessing the amount of time I’d spent reading various types of article on BCB before realising that at least 80% of the countless hours I’ve spent on this site can solely be put down to the days it took to read that monster 1000+ post involving Bucks…