Five Burning Questions for (team): A Create-Your-Own Spring Training Story
by Kyle Lobner on Feb 17, 2010 12:00 PM CST
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PrintGood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to baseball season. The first pitchers and catchers report to spring training in Florida today, with others reporting through the weekend at camps across Florida and Arizona.
Spring training is a time for hope and celebration. It's the return of the sport we love after a too-long offseason of short days, cold and despair. But let's be honest: It's also a time for cliches, hype and spring training "previews" that seem to be copied and pasted from the same template year after year.
This year, though, you don't have to sit back and wait for a bland, uninspired spring training preview for your favorite team. With an assist from Mad Libs, you can create your own.
Simply fill in the blanks on the list below, then follow the jump and plug them in to see your very own spring training preview!
- Favorite team
- Your name
- Oft-injured player
- Noun
- Verb (present tense)
- Noun
- Really long movie
- Occupation
- Body part
- Different body part
- Aging player
- Body part
- Number
- Animal
- Place
- Something old people do
- Old person
- Noun
- Inconsistent player
- Year between 2005-2008
- Coach
- Part of a player's game
- Occupation
- Place that occupation works
- New acquisition
- Place
- Platitude
- Verb (present tense)
- Noun
- Player approaching end of contract
- Synonym for money
- Expensive thing
Five Burning Questions facing the (1)
by (2)
1. Can (3) stay healthy?
Whether they'll admit it or not, the (1) clearly missed (3) last season. When healthy, he's the (4) that (5) the (6). Unfortunately, he's not healthy often, and his prolonged absences make (7) seem short by comparison. Fortunately, he's making an effort to correct the problem.
"I spent the offseason working with a/an (8) to strengthen my (9)," he said. "But after a few days of that, my (10) started to bother me, so now I'm just taking it easy and seeing what happens."
2. Can (11) remain productive?
Unfortunately for the (1), (11) isn't getting any younger, and is hoping to squeeze one more productive season out of his (12) before calling it a career. At (13) years old, he knows his inevitable eventual decline is the (14) in the (15), but he cautions doubters who think he's too old to contribute:
"After spending the offseason (16) with (17), I'm in the best shape of my life," he said. "Now, where'd I leave my (18)?"
3. Can (19) rebound from a tough 2009?
When (19) is on, he shows flashes of brilliance the team has been hoping for since he burst onto the scene in (20). Unfortunately, he's never been able to put it all together, and (21) will spend the spring working with him to improve his (22).
"I think this could be the year he really comes together as a player," coach said. "But then again, I also thought I had a shot with that (23) from (24)."
4) Is (25) the answer?
Last season's events and the offseason that followed left the team with an empty spot in (26), and they filled it by acquiring (25). Team officials are excited about the (27) he'll bring to the team.
"We were really hoping to find a player who (28) as well as he does," the team official said. "We think he can be the (29) that pushes us over the top."
5. Will the team be forced to deal (30)?
The team remains hopeful in their negotiations with (30), but no deal is in place, creating uncertainty about the future of one of the team's brightest stars. He said he's not going to allow his situation to distract him from the task at hand.
"I'm just trying to play my game and let the (31) resolve itself," he said. "But I hope it happens soon, because I've got my eye on a nice (32)."
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I was really disappointed with 5...
But that’ s mostly because I selected Suppan as my expiring contract.
dickie_thon: Third baseman Bill Hall / Watches the third strike go by / Gamel grabs his glove
Mine is Ned Yost themed!
Five Burning Questions facing the Brewers
by Turd Ferguson
1. Can Weeksy stay healthy?
Whether they’ll admit it or not, the Brewers clearly missed Weeksy last season. When healthy, he’s the coffee that Yosts the summer sausage. Unfortunately, he’s not healthy often, and his prolonged absences make all 3 Lord of the Rings movies seem short by comparison. Fortunately, he’s making an effort to correct the problem.
“I spent the offseason working with a Special Adviser to Baseball Operations to strengthen my brain,” he said. “But after a few days of that, my cracked rib started to bother me, so now I’m just taking it easy and seeing what happens.”
2. Can Hoffy remain productive?
Unfortunately for the Brewers, Hoffy isn’t getting any younger, and is hoping to squeeze one more productive season out of his appendix before calling it a career. At 3 years old, he knows his inevitable eventual decline is the saber cat in the Kansas City barbeque joint, but he cautions doubters who think he’s too old to contribute:
“After spending the offseason dying with Abe Vigoda, I’m in the best shape of my life,” he said. “Now, where’d I leave my tarrarrel?”
3. Can Corey Hart-y rebound from a tough 2009?
When Hart-y is on, he shows flashes of brilliance the team has been hoping for since he burst onto the scene in 2008. Unfortunately, he’s never been able to put it all together, and Ned Yost! will spend the spring working with him to improve his run-scoring.
“I think this could be the year he really comes together as a player,” coach said. “But then again, I also thought I had a shot with that third base coach from the third base coach box.”
4) Is Wolfy the answer?
Last season’s events and the offseason that followed left the team with an empty spot in the unemployment line, and they filled it by acquiring Wolfy. Team officials are excited about the “he was one pitch away from getting out of it” ability he’ll bring to the team.
“We were really hoping to find a player who walks the park as well as he does,” the team official said. “We think he can be the mosquito bite that pushes us over the top.”
5. Will the team be forced to deal Soupy?
The team remains hopeful in their negotiations with Soupy, but no deal is in place, creating uncertainty about the future of one of the team’s brightest stars. He said he’s not going to allow his situation to distract him from the task at hand.
“I’m just trying to play my game and let the coin resolve itself,” he said. “But I hope it happens soon, because I’ve got my eye on a nice Dale Earnhardt signed NASCAR.”
by Rubie Q on Feb 17, 2010 12:42 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
dying with Abe Vigoda.
I’ve never struggled so hard to not burst out laughing.
Cards Announcers On Gamel's First Career HR, "That’s all they need is another home run hitter".
Love the line...
Unfortunately, he’s never been able to put it all together, and Ned Yost! will spend the spring working with him to improve his run-scoring.
Applying Simpsons and Star Wars quotes to Brewers discussions since 2009.
Good job Rubie
Ned Yost sucks
Taking shallowness to new depths -- FtJ's blog
by Fatter than Joey on Feb 18, 2010 2:58 AM CST up reply actions
Without looking at the story, to make it a true mad-libs...
Favorite team (Brewers)
Your name (HL Paper$tacks)
Oft-injured player (Rickie Weeks)
Noun (Gear)
Verb (present tense) (is, doesn’t get more present than that)
Noun (axe)
Really long movie (He’s just not that in to you, don’t know how long, but it felt like forever)
Occupation (Voodoo doll craftsman)
Body part (paraneum… just kidding, cloaca)
Different body part (knuckle)
Aging player (Jim Edmonds)
Body part (kneepit)
Number (323)
Animal (Shih Tsu)
Place (Dubai)
Something old people do (Eat dinner at 3 PM)
Old person (Lesley Neilson)
Noun (glue stick)
Inconsistent player (Dave Bush)
Year between 2005-2008 (2006)
Coach (Dale Sveumm)
Part of a player’s game (defense)
Occupation (ditch digger)
Place that occupation works (ditches?)
New acquisition (Randy Wolf)
Place (Sheboygan)
Platitude (it is what it is)
Verb (present tense) (works)
Noun (shoe)
Player approaching end of contract (Chubber Lang)
Synonym for money (Scrilla)
Expensive thing (Bugatti Veyron)
"That's not a weird stat. Rickie is a run-scorer," Yost said. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter," Yost told reporters. "See, you guys have no concept. He's a run-scorer. So there's nothing weird about it. That's what he does."
ok, just read the rest
phenomenal KL.
"That's not a weird stat. Rickie is a run-scorer," Yost said. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter," Yost told reporters. "See, you guys have no concept. He's a run-scorer. So there's nothing weird about it. That's what he does."
Five Burning Questions facing the (Brewers)
by NoahJ
1. Can Rickie Weeks stay healthy?
Whether they’ll admit it or not, the Brewers clearly missed Weeks last season. When healthy, he’s the altosaur that rummages the footlocker. Unfortunately, he’s not healthy often, and his prolonged absences make The Curious Case of Benjamin Button seem short by comparison. Fortunately, he’s making an effort to correct the problem.
“I spent the offseason working with a plumber to strengthen my Urethra,” he said. “But after a few days of that, my little toenail started to bother me, so now I’m just taking it easy and seeing what happens.”
2. Can Gregg Zaun remain productive?
Unfortunately for the Brewers, Zaun isn’t getting any younger, and is hoping to squeeze one more productive season out of his Anvil before calling it a career. At 2 years old, he knows his inevitable eventual decline is the giraffe in the outhouse, but he cautions doubters who think he’s too old to contribute:
“After spending the offseason grouching with Jason Kendall, I’m in the best shape of my life,” he said. “Now, where’d I leave my kleenex?”
3. Can Corey Hart rebound from a tough 2009?
When Hart is on, he shows flashes of brilliance the team has been hoping for since he burst onto the scene in 2007. Unfortunately, he’s never been able to put it all together, and Stan Kyles will spend the spring working with him to improve his calling the game.
“I think this could be the year he really comes together as a player,” coach said. “But then again, I also thought I had a shot with that stripper from On the Border.”
4) Is Carlos Gomez the answer?
Last season’s events and the offseason that followed left the team with an empty spot in bathroom, and they filled it by acquiring Gomez. Team officials are excited about the team playerness he’ll bring to the team.
“We were really hoping to find a player who does surgical procedures as well as he does,” the team official said. “We think he can be the grass that pushes us over the top.”
5. Will the team be forced to deal Suppan?
The team remains hopeful in their negotiations with Suppan, but no deal is in place, creating uncertainty about the future of one of the team’s brightest stars. He said he’s not going to allow his situation to distract him from the task at hand.
“I’m just trying to play my game and let the Benjamins resolve itself,” he said. “But I hope it happens soon, because I’ve got my eye on a nice private island.”
Apparently Corey Hart is going to try his hand at catcher.
And is looking to make DICKYBANGBANG proud.
Five Burning Questions facing the Brewers
by BrewHaHeather
1. Can Rickie Weeks stay healthy?
Whether they’ll admit it or not, the Brewers clearly missed Rickie Weeks last season. When healthy, he’s the restless leg syndrome that smell the hillbilly. Unfortunately, he’s not healthy often, and his prolonged absences make Titanic seem short by comparison. Fortunately, he’s making an effort to correct the problem.
“I spent the offseason working with a mortician to strengthen my left butt cheek,” he said. “But after a few days of that, my metacarpal started to bother me, so now I’m just taking it easy and seeing what happens.”
2. Can Trevor Hoffman remain productive?
Unfortunately for the Brewers , Trevor Hoffman isn’t getting any younger, and is hoping to squeeze one more productive season out of his Pancreas before calling it a career. At 7000 years old, he knows his inevitable eventual decline is the duck in the under the couch cushion, but he cautions doubters who think he’s too old to contribute:
“After spending the offseason stealing with Bud Selig, I’m in the best shape of my life,” he said. “Now, where’d I leave my shoe?”
3. Can Corey Hart rebound from a tough 2009?
When Corey Hart is on, he shows flashes of brilliance the team has been hoping for since he burst onto the scene in 2006. Unfortunately, he’s never been able to put it all together, and Dale Sveum will spend the spring working with him to improve his defense.
“I think this could be the year he really comes together as a player,” coach said. “But then again, I also thought I had a shot with that dog groomer from dog groomer shop?.”
4) Is Randy Wolf the answer?
Last season’s events and the offseason that followed left the team with an empty spot in Wyoming, and they filled it by acquiring Randy Wolf. Team officials are excited about the he was one pitch away from getting out of it he’ll bring to the team.
“We were really hoping to find a player who sniffs as well as he does,” the team official said. “We think he can be the lamp that pushes us over the top.”
5. Will the team be forced to deal Prince Fielder?
The team remains hopeful in their negotiations with Prince Fielder, but no deal is in place, creating uncertainty about the future of one of the team’s brightest stars. He said he’s not going to allow his situation to distract him from the task at hand.
“I’m just trying to play my game and let the scrilla resolve itself,” he said. “But I hope it happens soon, because I’ve got my eye on a nice bling.”
"A D+ Grade? That must have been a Wittardo grade"- @73_MC
Oops
I didn’t realize that I stole Rubie’s platitude
"A D+ Grade? That must have been a Wittardo grade"- @73_MC
by BrewHaHeather on Feb 17, 2010 10:33 PM CST up reply actions
I had to look it up too
"A D+ Grade? That must have been a Wittardo grade"- @73_MC
by BrewHaHeather on Feb 18, 2010 9:31 AM CST up reply actions
Yeah
I struggled to come up with a word to describe what I wanted there. I think “platitude” is the right one, but I would’ve struggled to come up with one, too.
That's all I've got for you today, unless you're interested in some Chris Capuano/Tom Haudricourt Fan Fiction.
Hilarious
The one I ran up for the Diamondbacks was more entertaining and probably had more effort put into it than a lot of the fantasy baseball previews I’ve seen.
"I've never heard of a famous Phoenix hot-dog"
Then post it, my good chum.
Applying Simpsons and Star Wars quotes to Brewers discussions since 2009.
Oh, I figure since it isn't Brewers-focused, most people wouldn't be that interested
But I will say I’m really optimistic that an off-season of kvetching with Adam West will help out Augie Ojeda this season.
"I've never heard of a famous Phoenix hot-dog"
That's exactly the point.
These “5 burning questions” stories are usually little more than bland filler and a recap of something any baseball fan should know. At least this one is funny.
That's all I've got for you today, unless you're interested in some Chris Capuano/Tom Haudricourt Fan Fiction.
We're so happy for you
well done and having a more entertaining and worked on post. Now kindly go.
"That's not a weird stat. Rickie is a run-scorer," Yost said. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter," Yost told reporters. "See, you guys have no concept. He's a run-scorer. So there's nothing weird about it. That's what he does."
Dude.
I’m pretty sure the guy just meant he put in Diamondbacks for his favorite team on this post, and it ended up being better than actual previews, which are basically just mad libs themselves, albeit not as random as this, which I think was KL’s point. He wasn’t saying that a seperate post he wrote was better than KL’s, but that he enjoyed the mad lib.
by NoahJ on Feb 18, 2010 9:04 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, that's what I was trying to get across
Sorry if that wasn’t clear.
"I've never heard of a famous Phoenix hot-dog"
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NL Central Standings
| W | L | PCT | GB | STRK | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Chicago
|
0 | 0 | .000 | 0 | Lost 0 |
|
Cincinnati
|
0 | 0 | .000 | 0 | Lost 0 |
|
Houston
|
0 | 0 | .000 | 0 | Lost 0 |
|
Milwaukee
|
0 | 0 | .000 | 0 | Lost 0 |
|
Pittsburgh
|
0 | 0 | .000 | 0 | Lost 0 |
|
St. Louis
|
0 | 0 | .000 | 0 | Lost 0 |
(updated 2.16.2012 at 1:03 PM CST)
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
