Corey Hart Eyejuicing!
Actually, he'll be wearing glasses or (oh please oh please) Gagne-goggles (gaggles?). This is sure to be a big help in 2010 --- after all, it's inconceivable that anyone could get worse with better vision.
almost 2 years ago
roguejim
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What crap
If Lou Brown were the manager we would have known about this years ago
Get a ife broseph
by Supertramp on Mar 2, 2010 7:21 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Maybe I'm a bit bent...
… but “eyejuicing” conjures up in my mind the image of squooshing an eyeball over one of those glass orange-juicers over the bump in the middle.
What begins in fear usually ends in folly.
by Ted Simmons Speed Camp on Mar 2, 2010 7:40 PM CST reply actions
This is quickly becoming
one of those “template” spring training stories. Crappy Player X is going to have a breakout year because he got glasses/had Lasik/started eating more carrots.
Q: Did you ever scout Corey Hart? What seems to be holding him back from being a good hitter for AVG?
A: The slider away. And that facial hair.
-Keith Law ESPN chat 2/11/10
/came into camp with a more fit physique
Corey’s covering a couple ST Templates this year.
Cards Announcers On Gamel's First Career HR, "That’s all they need is another home run hitter".
Contact lenses are "out the window," whatever that means
Probably gets scared of that face on his arm everytime he tries to put one in.
Shruggity
by Mykenk on Mar 2, 2010 8:37 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
Somebody needs to write him some fan mail and ask him what it is.
Dear Corey,
I’m a big fan of yours, and I just wanted to let you know that, as many fans have turned their backs on you. Lots of people don’t like you because of your face, your mullet, your lack of plate discipline, your mediocre defense, things you’ve said about the home crowd, your contractual situations, or your weird tattoos. But like I’ve been telling those people for years, if you can ignore all of those things, Corey Hart really isn’t that bad of a guy afterall.
Speaking of your weird tattoos, why is there a head on your forearm? Is it supposed to be like the movie alien? Because I’m pretty sure that comes out of your chest.
Anyway, I look forward to hearing from you, and here’s to proving all of those doubters wrong.
Oh, and by the way, good luck with those goggles, I’m sure they’ll make you look less weird.
Cards Announcers On Gamel's First Career HR, "That’s all they need is another home run hitter".
by tcyoung on Mar 2, 2010 9:20 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Must continue to use the same line I used the first time I saw that...
Holy Hell, is that a FACE?!
Shruggity
If I were going to guess
I’d guess it’s supposed to be his wife’s face. Corey’s not like those posers who only put their lady’s name on their bod.
Incidentally, per Wikipedia, Corey and Kristina now have four kids. The youngest is Brye. Son? Daughter? Shruggity.
You've got a couple screws missin' up in your toolbox, if you think that you'll stop this man from hittin' moonshots.
It might be his mom's face.
Cards Announcers On Gamel's First Career HR, "That’s all they need is another home run hitter".
According to this transcript, Hart says that it doesn't mean anything
“da_pontiff: What’s up Corey? Your new ink (on your forearm) looks nice…real nice. Does it have any special meaning or significance or did you get it because it just looks so icy hot?
Corey Hart: No meaning, I like tattoos and sometimes the guys get together and we get tattoos. It does look icy hot, doesn’t it?"
That transcript is from mid-2008
I’m not sure he had ‘the face’ by then. He had a tiger (or some big cat) on his other forearm before he got ‘the face.’ Maybe da_pontiff thought the cat was icy hot.
It’s a traveshamockery that the internets lack a tattoo history of the Brewers.
You've got a couple screws missin' up in your toolbox, if you think that you'll stop this man from hittin' moonshots.
by hawing on Mar 4, 2010 11:26 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
also
if he says “the face” has no meaning, that’s just what he’s telling his wife, b/c it looks just like his girlfriend:P
by PagsBrewCrew on Mar 4, 2010 12:20 PM CST up reply actions
Good point.
I forgot that he had another one on his other arm.
Anyway, I found this answer… not a very credible source, but still an answer that makes sense.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_is_the_face_tattoo_on_corey_hart_brewers_arm
Based on popular usage, it is 1.950 times more common for Brye to be a girl’s name.
And shruggity needs to keep being used. Love it.
Shruggity
While it may be more common to be a girl's name
It’s not a girl’s name in this case…
“Hart and his wife, Kristina, had their fourth child on Monday, a son named Brye Ripken.”
Too Bad.
If it was a girl, she could have grown up to be icy hot.
Cards Announcers On Gamel's First Career HR, "That’s all they need is another home run hitter".
by tcyoung on Mar 4, 2010 12:13 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
For a second
I thought Corey Hart had a kid named Shruggity.
"I will agree that the attitude [at BCB] is ridiculous and they have done so much to instigate animosity and then block us from responding. Real mature!"
Holy Crap!
Kentucky has a Senate?
Shruggity
by Mykenk on Mar 3, 2010 9:17 AM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Wow...
Did anyone read that bill? There’s some pretty specific info about Hart in it… like
“WHEREAS, Corey Hart is the loving husband of Kristina, and the proud father of Alyssa and Matthew;”
Do they repeal this if he ends up getting a divorce?
In all kidding aside, it appears it was passed in 2006 (Way to have dates on your bills Kentucky) so I assume Ryleigh was’t born yet.
That's why when you pass a bill like that...
you should really just stick to milestones and things that won’t ever change.
Of course, we’re talking about Kentucky.
To anyone from Kentucky… I kid, I kid!
Its='s currently the 264th most popular girls name...
… probably chosen as Corey Hart is the 264th most popular major leaguer.
Shruggity
Interesting
According to that page, there were 1281 children given that name in 2008, which was .062%.
Seems odd to me that 1281 out of almost 1.4 million ranks 264th… seems like it should be lower.
Am I maybe misinterpreting something?
Nah, you're interpreting just fine.
My guess is that it’s not a very flat tailed distribution. Once you get out past, say 150 (guessing), then the names start getting pretty much equal in likelihood.
Shruggity
Speaking of eyejuicing
Anyone following the Red Sox and have any idea this year what Billy is using as a reason for having a bad year last year? I’m going to guess he will blame it on getting trading during the season, which is extremely difficult to adjust to. Plus, this also allows him to use getting traded in the offseason as an excuse for this upcoming year.
BCB, the preferred above replacement level sarcasm supplier.
I was going to give you a hard time about still talking about a guy who's two teams removed from the Brewers
but then I remembered that he’s still on the Brewers payroll. You may continue.
He's not going to get goggles...
… he’s just going to switch to prescription sunglasses…
… and start wearing them during night games…
…
Shruggity
by Mykenk on Mar 3, 2010 9:51 AM CST reply actions 3 recs
I like it!
“I wear my dark goggles at night
So I can So I can
Keep track of baseballs in my eyes.”
"I will agree that the attitude [at BCB] is ridiculous and they have done so much to instigate animosity and then block us from responding. Real mature!"
On the Gagne Goggles
Are those pronounced Gan-yels?
"That's not a weird stat. Rickie is a run-scorer," Yost said. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter," Yost told reporters. "See, you guys have no concept. He's a run-scorer. So there's nothing weird about it. That's what he does."
I hope we aren't missing the most important part of this
“He began collecting sports memorabilia about four years ago and since then has moved to other collectibles, from comic books to action figures.”
Brewers Baseball and other assorted nonsense (mostly the assorted nonsense) at my blog, What's a Tararrel?
Goggles it is
RT: @Haudricourt: After the Brewers’ intrasquad game today, RF Corey Hart will go to be fitted for prescription goggles. Turns out he is near-sighted.
Shruggity
Bah
He should’ve gone with this look…
http://www3.allaroundphilly.com/blogs/delcotimes/ryanl/uploaded_images/vaughn-790656.jpg
Ug
Hart said pitches were “a little fuzzy” last year but didn’t realize extent of the problem until he took his physical before start of camp.
Kinda irritating, no?
Shruggity
Apparently...
Things looking “a little fuzzy” wasn’t enough of an indicator that he needed his eyes checked.
But it was enough of an indicator...
to swing every time.
by KittenMittons on Mar 3, 2010 2:02 PM CST up reply actions
To be fair
When I started going nearsighted, it was a long while from when I first started noticing a little difficulty seeing things till I finally realized it was bad enough I need glasses. Then I got them, and I was shocked how much of a difference they made (and I used to have 20/13 vision, so I did once see things at least as well as I see them with glasses).
Brewers Baseball and other assorted nonsense (mostly the assorted nonsense) at my blog, What's a Tararrel?
But you aren't an athlete
Being able to pick up the ball off the bat, see the rotation of the ball, pick up the spin of the ball is really important. You can’t read something as easily doesn’t impact your job as much as it does with Hart.
There’s no real excuse for him to simply not get his eyes checked for at least a year. I’m actually amazed that the clubs don’t have mandatory check ups through out the off season/year.































