Giants 15, Brewers 2

WP: Tim Lincecum (9-4)
LP: Chris Narveson (7-6)

HR: Andres Torres (5), Aubrey Huff (16), Buster Posey (4, 5), Rickie Weeks (15)

MVP: Who cares?
LVP: Take a wild guess. (-.408)

Graph of Annihilation 
SB Nation Coverage


I need you to gather 'round.  Skippy, put down the Wii for a second.  Shooter, can you hand Mother the Buzz Lightyear action figure?  You can have him back in just a moment.  Molly, can you turn down Dora for a minute?  Papa needs to talk to all of you.

Thank you.

Listen, kids.  There's really no easy way to say this.  Mother and I have been talking about this for a few weeks, and we decided it's time to tell you:

We're sending the NarvDog upstate to live with a nice farm family.

Oh, kids, don't get upset.  Skippy, I need you to be Papa's brave boy right now.  Can you show me your brave face?  There's a good boy.  And, Molly, please don't cry: we know how much you love the NarvDog.  You guys have had some great times with the ol' boy, like the time he blanked the Mariners for eight innings, or those meaningless games last September when he pitched OK.

Kids, I'm sorry.  This wasn't an easy decision.  But your mother and I can't stomach any more three-inning, nine-earned-run abominations.  We can't let the NarvDog poop all over the house with those three, first-inning taters.  We can't have the NarvDog eating Mother's slippers and barfing up triples to light-hitting second basemen.

The NarvDog is killing your father, kids.  So he has to go.  Please understand.

He's going to a very nice family.  He'll have room to run and play and chase cows and throw 84 mph, straight-as-an-arrow fastballs to his heart's content.  And there are plenty of other dogs with ERAs over 6.00 for the NarvDog to pal around with up there.  He's going to be very happy.  Trust your papa on this one.

And who knows?  Maybe this isn't the end of the road for the NarvDog.  You know the Suppans, who live up the street?  Rumor has it that they sent that one-eyed, mange-ridden beast that used to terrorize the neighborhood to the pound a couple of weeks ago, and some nice family adopted that mutt not long after.  See?  There can be a happy ending here for everybody.

But, just to be safe, kids, you probably shouldn't read the transaction notes for a week or so.

Now ... who wants to go to FUDDRUCKERS???

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Brew Crew Ball

You must be a member of Brew Crew Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Brew Crew Ball. You should read them.

Join Brew Crew Ball

You must be a member of Brew Crew Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Brew Crew Ball. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.