FanPost

Nice to hear from you!  (sarcasm)


I know this will come as a shock to you, but I'm a bit of a misanthrope.  No, no, stop it, you're just being kind, but I really am.

Because of that fact I managed to hit my 40's a couple of years back without owning a cell phone.  Truth is I don't like being that available to people who might want to talk to me at any given moment.  But, because of some family stuff I have going on currently, I sort of need to be more available to more people than I generally have been, so I did what anyone in my situation might do:  I stole my wife's cell phone and I've been using it for a couple of months.  Last night when I got home after the latest in what now has to be my 80th drive across the state in the last 120 days or so, I found a cell phone with a bow on it waiting for me next to the remote.

 

Apparently my wife wanted her phone back.

 

So now I had a cell phone of my own for the first time in my life, and I had decidedly mixed feelings about it.  I returned her phone without much in the way of comment and proceeded to surrender without a fight, even though I knew this phone would become permanently mine, instead of a temporary and necessary inconvenience.  I flipped on the TV and saw the Brewers were down big, as they had been when I left the car a moment before, and I decided to distract myself by frogging around with my shiny new tether to responsible adulthood.

 

Suddenly I received a text message.  I looked over at my wife, the only person on the planet who knew I had a phone and knew the number, who shrugged her own confusion in response.  The message read as follows:

 

"Looks like your season's almost over! Haha!" 

 

The number associated with the message had the area code of 314.

 

St. Louis.

 

I see one of two possibilities (maybe you see more, but I'm new at this stuff):

 

1) A Cardinal Fan Asshat has found himself a job with my mobile service provider and sent out automated messages to people with area codes in Wisconsin as a prank.  This would not only be remarkably foolish and likely to result in them hitting the unemployment line soon, but would also be completely consistent with the judgment and manners of virtually every Cardinal fan I've ever met.

 

And then the far more likely scenario:

 

2) Some poor Brewer loving person in the 920 has a "friend" who lives or lived in St. Louis and is a Cardinal fan.  The Cardinal fan, by definition an asshat and likely drunk on the watery excuse for beer they drink down there, decided to kick his "friend" while he was down.  The Brewer fan, showing the good judgment consistent with his choice of baseball teams to follow AND a willingness to learn from his mistakes, recently changed his cell phone number AND chose not to inform the asshat Cardinal fan.

 

The moral of this story is:  Cardinals fans are asshats.

 

And before you ask, yes, I did keep the number in my phone, and yes, I'm going to text message him after all 4 Cardinal losses in the World Series.

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