The Oakland Athletics...

have made the path to the Majors a steep hill to climb for a gifted infield prospect. To play 2nd base, you have to learn how to play the drums and then compete engage in an epic battle against a technically above-average bear.

* Not everyone has to face the Bear, but members of the Weeks family tend to get the "you're so talented, you can probably wing everything" from front offices.


An early model the A's looked at was something probably similar to this, except the epic drum battle wasn't as confusing.

The first modern experiment would have netted the Dodgers some bench players,  but these guys didn't follow orders from the front office that they had to leap over all of the timpani, and could not be Dodgers.
At this point the 3 individuals could've probably bought the team, anyhow because they were loaded!

(Here is some bonus material; normally for insiders only)

Seattle may have been trying this out, but the owner of a pitch called "Mr. Snappy" (pictured below) received multiple warnings about performance-enhancing drums and mullets would result in at least 4 missed starts and a possible ban from using the "Mr. Snappy" pitch. He complied *

* = Actually, there is no record on any such agreement. Time to go to the library where they would have those records...