BCB Fantasy Football- The last week before the playoffs start!

by Hyatt on Nov 29, 2011 3:58 PM CST

Since life gets in the way, I haven't been as involved in the writeups for BCB Fantasy Football this year, but that's cool because we've had a phenomenal year. I would like to take a moment to give you some play by play on how my team in the Archer league:

It's the 4th quarter in last nights game and I have a 33 point lead on CheezConQueso, and had a 45 point lead entering the game. Eli opens the quarter up by sending a 73 yard bomb to Victor cruz. This accounts for 21 points to put Cheez within striking distance, but I'm still comfortable. The game is out of hand, and the Giants should fold. What does that son of a bitch Coughlin do? He has ELI throwing all quarter, and he throws his 2nd TD of the quarter to Cruz with 5 minutes left in the game. WHAT KIND OF BULLSH IS THIS?!? I get beat because of two garbage time TDs. Hats off to you Cheez, but Eli and Victor Cruz can go die of chemical burn.

Anyway, let's update your playoff picture. I'll start with the Swansons:

1. Tramon Eileen (10-2, 1076 points scored)- Clinched first round bye, can clinch #1 rank with win or a loss and a Meat Tornado loss, or a loss and outscoring the Meat Tornados by 78 points

2. You Had Me at Meat Tornado (9-3, 1154)- Clinched first round bye, can clinch #1 Rank with win and an Eileen loss

3. Clay With My Balls (7-5, 1213)- Clinched playoff birth, can clinch 3rd seed with win

4. I just Called to say Fuck You (7-5, 1037)- Clinched playoff birth, can clinch 3rd seed with win AND clay loss AND not being outscored by One Testy Punter by 20

5. Josh Bidwell is One Testy Punter (7-5, 1018)- Clinched Playoff birth, Can clinch 3rd seed with win AND clay loss AND just called Loss OR Win AND Clay Loss AND outscore a winning Just Called by 20

6. Put Something Offensive Here (6-6, 1046)- Can clinch playoff spot with win, can clinch 4th seed with WIN and One Testy Punter Loss.

7. Come on Hakeem (5-6-1, 1084)- Can clinch with playoff spot with WIN AND Leam Loss AND not be outscored by a winning Hawk by 30

8. Suh Mack Hawk (5-6-1, 1055)- Can clinch with win AND leam Loss And outscoring a winning Hakeem by 30 OR Win AND Leam Loss AND Hakeem Loss

Kriegers

1. All The Bacon and Eggs You Have (9-3, 1186) -Clinched 1st round bye, can clinch #1 seed with a win

2. After Life Aquatic with OBL (8-4, 1068)- Clinched Playoff spot, can clinch 1st round bye with win, can clinch 1st seed with win AND Bacon and Eggs loss coupled with outscoring Bacon and Eggs by 119

3. Mississippi Dong Slingers (7-4-1, 1096)- Clinched playoff spot, can clinch 1st round bye with Win AND Afterlife Loss

4. Ice Cold Bruschis (7-5, 1170)- Clinched Playoff spot, can clinch #3 seed with Win

5. Using Your Head with James Harrison (7-5, 1063)- Clinched playoff spot, can clinch #3 seed with Win and Bruschi/Dongslinger Tie OR a win AND outscoring a winning bruschis by 108

6. Cutler's Pottery Barn Gift Receipt (6-6, 968 HAHAHAHAHHAHA MY TEAM IS BAD)- Can clinch playoff spot with win

7. Kuhn Tang Klan ANTFW (5-6-1, 1135)- Can clinch playoff spot with win AND Pottery Barn loss

8. Dexter's Viking Adventure (5-7, 1040)- Can Clinch playoff spot with win AND Pottery Barn loss AND kuhn Tang Klan Loss

9. Mendenhall's OBL Fan Club (5-7, 939)- Can Clinch playoff spot with win AND Pottery Barn loss AND Kuhn Tang Klan loss AND Dexters loss OR Win AND PB loss AND KTK loss AND outscoring a winning dexter by 102.

Archers

1. I Wanna Rex You Up (11-1, 1185) Clinched #1 Seed

2. Cromartie's Foster Kid Emporium (8-4, 1268) Clinched playoff spot, can clinch 2 seed with a win AND Drop and Yar losses OR Win AND outscoring Drop and Yar

3. Drop It Like It's Hot Ft. James Jones (8-4, 1225) Clinched Playoff Spot, Can clinch 2 seed with win AND outscoring a winning Hyatt by 44 OR win AND Hyatt and Yar Loss... you get the idea

4. I WILL DESTROY HER (8-4, 1121) Clinched Playoff Spot, Can clinch 2 seed with win AND Hyatt and Drop losses

5. Pippa Middleton's Hypnotic A$$ (7-5, 1067) Can clinch playoff spot with win OR loss and JP loss OR loss and

6. Rock Me Abberderis (7-5, 1003) Can clinch playoff spot with win OR loss and JP loss OR outscoring a winning JP

7. Indianapolis Steakhouse (6-6, 1104) Can Clinch a playoff spot with Win AND not being outscored by Tex/Saltire loser.

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Comments

My Kuhn Tang Klan has the third most points in the league.

Hyatt’s Potter Barn has the second least. But HE’S the one who is in sixth place right now?

by Noah Jarosh on Nov 29, 2011 5:40 PM CST reply actions

Ah, but Hyatt is going up against Rendezvous' buzzsaw. While I'm up against a 3-7 team.

That probably means we’ll both lose.

by Noah Jarosh on Nov 29, 2011 5:42 PM CST up reply actions

Om nom nom

"We’re gonna gather our nuts, and find out what the squirrels… we’ll be right back." - Brian Anderson

by Rendezvous on Nov 29, 2011 6:55 PM CST up reply actions

I'm still bummed about getting spanked by a team with Mark Sanchez at QB

Packers? Working on a dynasty.
Blackhawks? Taking care of business as usual.

Brewers, Badgers? THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

by Tepo6688 on Nov 29, 2011 11:30 PM CST up reply actions

He's carrying my team the rest of the way.

by Noah Jarosh on Nov 30, 2011 1:29 AM CST up reply actions

I should not be 6-6

You should all be ashamed of yourselves

"That's not a weird stat. Rickie is a run-scorer," Yost said. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter," Yost told reporters. "See, you guys have no concept. He's a run-scorer. So there's nothing weird about it. That's what he does."
BCB Fantasy Football League 1 Champ

by Hyatt on Nov 30, 2011 9:16 PM CST via mobile up reply actions

Wow, that's luck.

I thought I would need one of those two to lose, but apparently it’s guaranteed one will lose.

Also, the loser can outscore me this week, just not by too much. It would probably favor me more if Saltire beats TexWestern since he would need to outscore me by 102 points. Saltire would need to outscore me by 38 points.

I’m not happy with my team right now, though. Four straight losses…not good.

Contributor on Brew Crew Ball, Commissioner of Prognostikeggers, Owner of a broken sarcasm detector

by -JP- on Nov 29, 2011 5:44 PM CST reply actions

At the moment ESPN projections have me as a 22 point underdog this week

Which means that I may well have to hope that your Chargers like run continues

by Saltire on Nov 30, 2011 5:03 PM CST up reply actions

I misspelled berth 3 times!!!

I’m so awesome!

by Hyatt on Nov 29, 2011 9:23 PM CST via mobile reply actions

It's the kids.

by Noah Jarosh on Nov 29, 2011 9:57 PM CST up reply actions

YES!

I made the playoffs…and it’s not even a complete travesty!

BTW, who is winning the battle for the SJM Travesty Playoff Team of the Year?

Applying pop culture to Brewers discussions since 2009, earning the nickname of "Our Little Abed".

by Yar Nivek on Nov 30, 2011 12:05 AM CST reply actions

Well

both leaders in the clubhouse of the Swansons and Archers are the 3rd highest scoring teams in their league, but my Cutler’s Pottery Barn Receipt qualifying as the 3rd lowest scoring team in the Kriegers would qualify if I was in line for a bye.

SJM was such a unique phenomena. It earned a 1st round bye by winning the division while scoring the 4th fewest points in EITHER league. Of the 24 teams playing, it was ranked 21st. Yet, there it sat in the Semi Finals. None of us could figure out how it was winning despite being so horrible. It was the Tim Tebow or Vince Young of Fantasy teams.

by Hyatt on Nov 30, 2011 8:27 AM CST up reply actions

I'm still trying to figure out

how Tramon Eileen is leading the Swansons league. Pretty sure my luck has run out with San Diego out of the playoff chase and Forte a shell of himself without Cutler at QB to provide at least some sort of passing threat.

by doubleb440 on Nov 30, 2011 9:01 AM CST reply actions

Clay With My Balls

My team may have scored the most points in Swanson, but my team SUCKS!!!! My awesome trio of Rice / F Jax / Mcfadden has become the suck alot trio of Rice / Ingram / Crabtree. So much for running back depth.

I just want to say….MCFADDEN GROW A PAIR. YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"My plan is my plan," Yost said.

by TAPmoney on Nov 30, 2011 3:02 PM CST up reply actions

& Felix Jones

IS NOT HELPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"My plan is my plan," Yost said.

by TAPmoney on Nov 30, 2011 3:03 PM CST up reply actions

Glad to see this has guided me into the playoffs with an underwhelming team

Your "Bush League All Star 4 Mod" campaign headquarters

by Fiesta on Nov 30, 2011 12:57 PM CST reply actions

Seriously we had the worst season ever-

Sucks because my team had a bomb-asssss upside as evidenced by scoring 140+ the first week. All downhill from there, though.

A samurai sword collection. If you can do it. I don’t know if you’re allowed.

by TwoShoesMcGooze on Nov 30, 2011 2:33 PM CST reply actions

OBL Fan Club can still make the playoffs (5-7 so far)?

Now I know how Notre Dame feels ever year!

REWIND YOURSELF!

by drezdn on Nov 30, 2011 3:46 PM CST reply actions

There goes Matt Forte

And any chance at a Tramon Eileen Championship.

Not even the return of the original Beast Mode will be enough to hold off the rest of the Swansons contenders.

by doubleb440 on Dec 4, 2011 4:50 PM CST reply actions

Enjoy being knocked out of the Kriegers playoffs, Hyatt.

Kuhn Tang Clan 5eva

by Noah Jarosh on Dec 4, 2011 10:45 PM CST reply actions

Looks like I get you in the first round then.

I could be wrong though.

"People ask me what I do in the winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."- Rogers Hornsby

by icecreamman on Dec 4, 2011 11:06 PM CST up reply actions

All I know is that the headbangers are getting tuned up just in time.

Abandon hope, Kreigers, for it shall betray you.

Packers? Working on a dynasty.
Blackhawks? Taking care of business as usual.

Brewers, Badgers? THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

by Tepo6688 on Dec 5, 2011 2:44 AM CST reply actions

Oh dear

My reward for fluking into the playoffs is probably going to be a mauling at the hands of Clay With My Balls…

"I love it when any team called 'The Brew Crew' wins": Tad Kubler
"LOLOL I LOVE YUNI!!!!": ThroughBeingCool

by MrLeam on Dec 5, 2011 2:49 PM CST reply actions

I can't really say my team disappointed me

So much as they lived up to my incredibly low expectations for them (60 some points?).

REWIND YOURSELF!

by drezdn on Dec 5, 2011 3:22 PM CST reply actions

MORBO HERE WITH YOUR FANTASY SPORTS UPDATE.

MY DEEP MASCULINE VOICE AND THROBBING FOREHEAD VEIN HAVE SECURED ME THE SECOND SEED. PUNY EARTHLINGS, TREMBLE BEFORE ME.

Applying pop culture to Brewers discussions since 2009, earning the nickname of "Our Little Abed".

by Yar Nivek on Dec 6, 2011 11:15 AM CST reply actions

I may be done with BCB leagues.

I’m serious. I’ve played in nine fantasy leagues between fantasy football and baseball this year. I made the playoffs in six of those leagues. (The seventh league was a roto league, so no playoffs in that league, but I won the league.) The only two leagues where I missed the playoffs: the two BCB leagues. All I can say in both leagues is that it was bad luck. That’s the only thing that makes sense. I should have been in the playoffs in this league, but it was bad luck, and unfortunately that’s just part of the game.

If I decide to come back for fantasy baseball, I can say that I’m going back to my traditional roles. Stick with the traditional team names, go back to the strategies that I’ve had more success with, etc. If I lose again, then I’m definitely done with BCB leagues.

Contributor on Brew Crew Ball, Commissioner of Prognostikeggers, Owner of a broken sarcasm detector

by -JP- on Dec 6, 2011 4:20 PM CST reply actions

When you were the 6th best team in scoring

It is not that unlucky to miss out on the playoffs….

by Saltire on Dec 6, 2011 6:02 PM CST up reply actions

Here's why it is unlucky

- In the last five weeks, lost two close games and two games aginst teams who were in the top three of scoring that week.
- Lost my whole starting WR core from the start of the season, QB, & starting RB to injuries
- Only one of my first seven picks even started for my team in Week 13

I choose to blame it on having to divert from my normal naming convention of teams. All of the teams that stuck to the normal name of Phoenix Thunder are in the playoffs. That’s not a coincidence.

Contributor on Brew Crew Ball, Commissioner of Prognostikeggers, Owner of a broken sarcasm detector

by -JP- on Dec 6, 2011 9:10 PM CST up reply actions

By the way

The last part was sarcasm. I highly doubt the team name influenced the season.

I’m still calling it an unlucky season, though.

Contributor on Brew Crew Ball, Commissioner of Prognostikeggers, Owner of a broken sarcasm detector

by -JP- on Dec 7, 2011 12:51 PM CST up reply actions

Just curious

But why are we playing on ESPN? Personally, I prefer Yahoo leagues because they are much easier. Don’t get me wrong, there are some things I really like about ESPN’s leagues, but I’d take Yahoo back in a heartbeat. Was it just your (Hyatt) preference, or is there more to it?

"People ask me what I do in the winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."- Rogers Hornsby

by icecreamman on Dec 7, 2011 11:15 AM CST up reply actions

I don't know why Hyatt chose ESPN

Personally, I like ESPN more. It’s easier to use, the interface is cleaner, I like the fantasy advice more, and it makes more sense. On Yahoo, you get them predicting fractions of touchdowns. That makes no sense, either it’s a TD or it’s not.

Contributor on Brew Crew Ball, Commissioner of Prognostikeggers, Owner of a broken sarcasm detector

by -JP- on Dec 7, 2011 12:54 PM CST up reply actions

Tom Coughlin

Challenges your claim on partial touchdowns.

by doubleb440 on Dec 7, 2011 1:09 PM CST up reply actions

I've always been a fan of CBS

they have a great matchup tracker, and their roster management is solid too.

Packers: Working on a dynasty.
Blackhawks: Taking care of business as usual.
Badgers:Back-to-back B1G Champions!
Brewers: Move along, nothin' to see here.

by Tepo6688 on Dec 8, 2011 2:38 AM CST up reply actions

Ryan Grant

U DA MAN!!!

Packers: Working on a dynasty.
Blackhawks: Taking care of business as usual.
Badgers:Back-to-back B1G Champions!
Brewers: Move along, nothin' to see here.

by Tepo6688 on Dec 12, 2011 3:43 PM CST reply actions

MJD put the team on his back.

The Bruschis scored 148+ this week.

"People ask me what I do in the winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."- Rogers Hornsby

by icecreamman on Dec 12, 2011 10:31 PM CST up reply actions

As we can only assume is a common occurence

you may have blown your load too early ;)

Packers: Working on a dynasty.
Blackhawks: Taking care of business as usual.
Badgers:Back-to-back B1G Champions!
Brewers: Move along, nothin' to see here.

by Tepo6688 on Dec 12, 2011 11:24 PM CST up reply actions

Ryan grant needs to go straight to fantasy hell and never come back

I mean really? He has his best game in over a year and it just HAS to be against my team in the Kreigers playoffs?

He’s actually underrated, but that’s another can of worms…

by jarlbartar on Dec 15, 2011 4:06 PM CST up reply actions

He'll be even better this week.

RG25’s coming for you, Bacon and Eggs!

Packers: Working on a dynasty.
Blackhawks: Taking care of business as usual.
Badgers:Back-to-back B1G Champions!
Brewers: Move along, nothin' to see here.

by Tepo6688 on Dec 15, 2011 5:26 PM CST up reply actions

Hey Ryan Grant, put on a Remetee and get herpes

The Packers didnt need your perfomance last week, so just take it back!

He’s actually underrated, but that’s another can of worms…

by jarlbartar on Dec 16, 2011 6:39 AM CST up reply actions

I would have beat every single other team in the Kriegers.

Hey, fuck you Maurice Jones Drew. Hey, fuck you Packers defense. Are you kidding me. You picked this week to do that? Fuck you Mason Crosby. You’re a kicker. You aren’t supposed to put that many points on the board. Good work everyone on my team, you played well this weak. Steven Jackson, I’m sorry the rest of your team sucks and your coach is an idiot.

by Noah Jarosh on Dec 12, 2011 10:37 PM CST reply actions 1 recs

I guess it only makes sense that I would go out like that.

After being the second or third highest scoring team all fucking year and barely squeaking into the playoffs.

by Noah Jarosh on Dec 13, 2011 1:00 PM CST up reply actions

I personally

cannot wait to destroy Hyatt in the Conference Championship. He’s gonna need a doughnut to sit on, and a Texas sized hankie to weep in.

A quick session of fungos is all Mat Gamel needs to play 3rd base for the Milwaukee Brewers.

by Brew Town Boozer on Dec 13, 2011 7:12 AM CST reply actions

Since he beat me by miles this week

Despite me scoring a fairly respectable 111 (I also had 54 more points on the bench but even my optimal line-up would not of been good enough)
~~I hope that he manages to win so that I can say I was beaten by the champion~~ who am I kidding I don’t give a **** who wins now

by Saltire on Dec 13, 2011 12:41 PM CST up reply actions

Even without matt forte

The true Dexy’s Midnight Runners Tribute team is gonna roll to the Swansons fantasy championship game

by doubleb440 on Dec 15, 2011 11:53 PM CST reply actions

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Cincinnati Red Reporter	25	20	.555	0	Lost 1
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