"One Player At A Time"

(With apologies to Johnny Cash)

Well, I left the Rangers back in 2001
Did a year of consulting in Boston for fun
Then came to work as GM of the Crew

Every year I'd watch the big markets win
They'd up the ante and I'd have to give in
And watch my free agents bag the riches they were due

One day I devised a stratagem
That should be the envy of most any GM
I'd use my talent to find the diamonds in the rough

Then I'd throw them together into the fire
And forge us a team with relentless desire
I'd have me League's best team with second-hand stuff

[CHORUS]

I'd get it one player at a time
And it hardly cost me a dime
You'll know it's the Brewers when we come to your town
We're gonna play the game with style
We're gonna drive everybody wild
It's the little town and the big markets in a showdown

So the very first day when I punched in
With scouting reports and inside tips from friends
I started working the phones to feel out trades

Now, I never considered myself a thief
Most GM's wouldn't miss one piece
Especially if I strung it out over a decade

The first day I called up Weeks from the farm
And later he was joined by Fielder and Braun
And we started signing the best talent we could bank

Then I got the Diamondbacks on the phone
Waved a big first baseman in front of their nose
And took home six new players to join the ranks

Now, up til then my plan went all right
'Til we sat down with the roster one night
And that's when we noticed that something was definitely wrong

Our center fielder couldn't hit his weight
Our best shortstop was 38
And our pitching staff was a horrid mess

So I called up my pals in KC and Toronto
Sold some prospects and sang a song or two
And netted two aces - one a former Cy Young no less

Our bullpen came together great
With a setup man who stood 6-foot-8
And a crafty closer with a handlebar moustache

I hired a new manager who was pretty bright
He knew how to position the fielders just right
And he pulled that team together in a flash

We struggled in April and a bit of May too
But we got it together and when we got thru
Well, that's when we started to take the League by storm

Our aces shut out teams left and right
The lineup started hitting homers out of sight
We picked up speed when the weather started to get warm

We were a powerhouse when we played at home
In the friendly comfort of a retractable dome
The big markets were scared to play us at our place

And the manager turned aside to me one day
While watching his players turn a double play
And said, 'I tell you Doug, I smell a pennant race.'

[CHORUS]

I'd get it one player at a time
And it hardly cost me a dime
You'll know it's the Brewers when we come to your town
We're gonna play the game with style
We're gonna drive everybody wild
Your fans will buy tickets to watch you get beat down