UPDATE" The "How'd you sleep?" Jan Brady League Review w/ Power Ranks

Unless you've been hiding in a mansion in abodabod, you probably heard that the Navy Seals in a daring raid got Osama Bin Laden and killed him.  There have been wonderful things said about this, but I choose to share some of my favorites.  I will not get political because I enjoy politics about as much as I enjoy that swab you have to get in college when you think you may have something after hearing something about a girl who you think is "not clean" and the doctor does it just to be an ass instead of just perscribing you the anti-biotics when I was 19.  Yeah, that's not fun:

Here's a fun gif of the president's speech last nite.

a tweet: Dear Osama, GOTCHA BITCH!!!

from faceplace: Do you think Obama did the A-rodg championship belt celebration on the confirmation phone call?

@tatertrottrkr: Greatest tater trot ever. Obama walking from the podium to his office after his brilliant speech. 12.57 badass seconds.

So yes, in this, there is some humor.  Mostly political, but still humor.  I FORBID YOU TO GET POLITICAL HERE, THIS IS A FANTASY BASEBALL POST DAMNIT.  SHOW SOME DECORUM!

Anyway, let's review the games, where the Marcus' had a bad week...

Royals Yosting on an Open Fire beat the Milledge Idiot 374.1-224: I'm actually headed up to Milwaukee this weekend to hang out with family.  It seems though that all of my planned trips back home never coincide with a Brewers game.  They are out of town this weekend, and will be out of town in August when I fly up for my sister's wedding.  Damnit, anyway, when your ace (David Price) scores -10.3, you aren't going to win too often.  Yar keeps his hot streak going with 8 guys over 20 points led by Jorge De La Rosa's 26.1.  The idiots only had 4.  That'll lose ya. 

Picture Me Rollins beat My Pujols is Byrnesin 373.2-355.1: In this weeks close matchup with actual respectable scores, Rollins held off a huge weekend charge (Byrnesin outscored him 162.5-81.6 on Saturday & Sunday) to stay undefeated.  Byrnesin couldn't overcome a slow start to the week and bad performances from... well no noe really stood out as terrible, just not enough great performances.  On the other side, Rollins had a huge week...  I mean, a huge Thursday from Ben Zobrist who scored 33 in one day, and 48 overall.  Tough loss for Byrnsesin who is still looking for his first win.

Halladay Roooaaaoooad beat Jeff's Mom's a Kent 328.9-257.4: Time sure does fly by real quickly.  My son will be turning one on wednesday.  In gearing up for the frustration that is a kid's birthday party planning, I took it out on the Kents.  Sin Soo Choo, Dan Hudson, and Jared Weaver were all above 30, and Miggy Cabrera, Kevin Correia, Leo Nunez and AJ Burnett were all over 20.  Robby Cano, Jason Marquis, Jay Bruce, BJ Upton and Alfonso Soriano all tried, but failed to over come the juggernaut that is the ROOOAAAOOOAD!!! 

Total Eclipse of the Hart beat Electric Litsch Orchestra 288.1-213.2: Apropos of nothing, some of you may remember dixieflatline.  This BCB alumnus was a PitchF/X genius.  He could do things with those PitchF/X numbers that few others could understand, to the point of starting his own site and writing for the Hardball Times.  He left a semi cryptic farewell message about 2 years ago about working for an AL team, and hadn't been heard of since... Until you get yourself a copy of Jonah Keri's The Extra 2%.  There is a solid half chapter on him alone.  It's an alright read, but it's pretty cool to see that someone who started off commenting at this site and posting his observations got hired by an MLB team AND got featured as a key to their success.  Anyway, ELO could not overcome Hart's initial 34 point lead and HUGE thursday of 101.8 points.  Lance Berkman continued his renaissance with a huge thursday and a 28 point week overall.  ELO was doomed with no real great performances at all.

Smoak'n with Jeffress beat Randy like the Wolf 268.9-195.4: I have a couple hard and fast rules about Fantasy Sports.  The second is never draft any Mets, they never come through.  The first though, is team loyalties go out the door because this is a game COMPLETELY SEPARATE from your favorite team.  Yes, it's nice to get excited about the phenomenal years Brauny and Prince are having and how they affect your team, but if I see a guy with a nice slider I know the Crew can't hit, I just may snatch him up.  And I will gladly place Soriano or Kevin Correia on my team as well as long as they can help me win.  It's separating my team emotional side from my business fantasy life. This is what Smoak'n did this week with Bud Norris and Matt Garza leading his team this week.  BOO THAT MAN if you choose, but they did lead his team to victory.  Randy could not overcome 4 negative performances from his pitchers despite good work from Justin Masterson and Tommy Hanson.

Anything You Cantu I Cantu Better beat Rewind Yourself! 236.7-220.4: Despite a valiant Sunday effort, Rewind could not come back to beat Cantu in this low scoring but close affair.  After last week's excoriation, thank you Kitten Mittons for coming through on the participation this week.  I wish you had a better result.  Anyway, Let's Play the FUED!!!  Top answer still on the board... Name the douchebag who is 6th in points for starting pitchers?  /gets spat on in the face.  Hmm... Cock flavored spit.  Well you never know what's on the board... SHOW ME COCK FLAVORED SPIT!!! /SHOTGUNBLAST TO THE KNEECAP!!!  Sorry, the answer we were looking for is Kyle Loshe for Cantu.  Interesting to me anyway.  Also, If you haven't seen the Placebo Effect episode of Archer yet, get on Hulu now and watch it (it's episode 9).  Funniest show of the year. 

Greinkie's Level 85 Gnome Mage beat Nomar Mr. Nice Guy 208-129.3: You want to know how to lose despite having the 2nd highest scoring player of the week (nice job Ian Kennedy)?  Have 8 guys put up negative points for you, including a -26.3 from Joaquin Benoit.  Ouch.  Greinke did not necessarily have a good week at all, but it was enough. 

Big week coming up, I'll be in WI this weekend, but will set my lineup on Thursday.  Also, keep the smack coming in the comments.  BIG NEWS COMING NEXT WEEK, so STAY TUNED (no I'm not leaving for a secret MLB Job, so don't guess that, though I wouldn't mind being the Brewers Director of Dick Jokes/Fantasy Relations).

Here are your Power Ranks:

Rank Team Name Week 4 Total Wk 4 Pts Total Power Points Wins
1 Picture Me Rollins 373.2 1526.8 13 48 4
2.5 Royals Yosting 374.1 1483.9 14 46 2
2.5 Anything You Cantu 236.7 1470 7 46 3
4 My Pujols is Byrnsin 355.1 1295.9 12 36 0
5 Total Eclipse of the Hart 288.1 1236.9 10 34 3
6 Jeff's Mom is a Kent 257.4 1166.6 8 32 1
7 Halladay Road 328.9 1325 11 29 3
8 Grienke's Gnome Mage 208.3 1169 3 27 2
9 Electric Litch Orchestra 213.2 1170 4 26 1
10 Smoakin w/ Jeffress 268.9 995.7 9 23 3
11 The Milledge Idiot 224 1016.9 6 20 2
12.5 Rewind Yourself 220.2 991.1 5 18 1
12.5 Randy like the Wolf 195.4 1052.2 2 18 1
14 Nomar Mr. Nice Guy 129.3 962.3 1 17 2
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