Noah's Traveling All-Stars (Yours Truly)
Vegetarian Donut Diet (thebrouhaha)
Mitch Stetter Moonbounce (brewjoles)
Sledgehammering Whippersnappers (acheron)
The Wise Man's Fear (pjpaulus)
Misery Loves Company (sjlee)
Tomato Tabata (GoGregGo)
Miggy and the bottomofthe5th (Dikembe Meiztombo)
The MicroBrewers (brewcrewshrew)
Bourn Identity (brwrsfan39)
Noah's Weekly Look At How Awesome His Team Is
Do you see this guy?
Do you? Do you know why he's smiling? That's motherfucking Chase Utley and he's smiling because he returned two weeks ago to lead the Traveling All-Stars to two straight victories. He's smiling because he is everything anyone wants to be. His uniform is messy because he does all the dirty work for my team. And you know who's been having a slow year? Evan freaking Longoria. He's hitting, like, .237 and only has three home runs and was on the DL for a long time. That man is going to catch FIRE soon enough. Buster Posey goes down for the year? Whatevs, I've got Ramon Hernandez, who promptly hit a homerun immediately after I added him to me team. Not a lot of depth at shortstop? Oh, I've got .313 hitting, 12 base stealing, run scoring Erick Aybar. When did I draft him? THE 19th ROUND?? OH MAN! Jason Kubel was a free agent a few weeks into the season? He's only hitting .305 with 30 RBI! David Ortiz is having a big year? Who'd have guessed that? Nobody from the first 15 rounds! That's right, I got him in the 16th round! Someone dropped Francisco Liriano? No problem, I'll just pick him up and he'll only give up three runs in 13 innings with 13 strikeouts in his first two starts for me! Yeah! Jered Weaver may not have got the win on Saturday, but he was all like "whatever, I'm just going to get 21 points anyway" and he did. Oh man you guys, my team is so awesome. They're on a hot streak to end all hot streaks and everyone shall be left trembling in their wake.
Noah's Traveling All-Stars (344.5) DESTROYED Sledgehammering Whippersnappers (331.3)
Did you not read that last paragraph? Of COURSE the Whippersnappers lost. What, Acheron thinks that Carl Crawford's 41 points and Jay Bruce's 39 are good enough? HA! Clayton Kershaw 41 points? Ha! He may have gotten solid backup performances from Carlos Gonzalez and Heath Bell, but his team is like the Brewers of the beginning of the season--3-4 good players and then Yuni and Gomez and Nieves and Kotsay. My team is like the current winning Brewers. Denard Span, 32 points. Bam! Aybar? 23 points. Bam! Ortiz? 25 points. Bam! Greinkers? 25 points. Bam! Jeremy Hellickson? 27 points. Bam! Jered Weaver and John Axford? 30 and 20 points. Bam, Bam! Look out premier league, here I come.
Misery Loves Company (417) defeated the Microbrewers (249.3)
The king is dead, the king is dead! BrewCrewShrew finally lost his first matchup of the season! And by quite a bit, too. This week he was looking much more like how I thought he would all season. He may finally have gotten decent starts from Ryan Dempster and Jose Reyes may have had a good week, but many of his other players were noticeably absent, including -13 Joakim Soria. If you want, BCS, I can take Soria off your hands for you. He's crap, I'll buy him for next to nothing. Here are your options: You can sell him for parts, throw him off a cliff, donate to someone you would like to see lose, OR you could sell him to me and I'll use him as I would a player off the waiver wire. Do it. Say yes. Sell him.
Misery, by the way, had awesome weeks from seemingly everyone. I won't bother listing them all.
Miggy and the Bottomofthefifth (389) beat Mitch Stetter Moonbounce (230.3)
Dikembe had the player of the week in Milwaukee's own Yovani Gallardo. He also may have had the anti-player of the week in Bronson Arroyo, who netted him a whopping -26 points. Even that wasn't enough to keep him from steamrolling over brewjoles, though. It helped that he had two other pitchers over 40, and three others over 20. His offense may not have been the greatest but Moonbounce had just three players score over 20 points this week. That's sort of bad. 72 total points from your pitching just ain't gonna cut it.
Vegetarian Donut Diet (335) beat Tomato Tabata (239.7)
Thebrouhaha needed a win here after having his soul crushed by my team the week before and, lo and behold Diet got him one. Both offenses netted around the same number of points, but GoGregGo's pitching kinda kicked the pooch a little but, scoring just ~80 points compared to ~170 for Veggie. The champ is faltering around .500.
Trickle Down Fantasy (296.2) beat Bourn Identity (213.5)
pjpaulus is now on a three game winning streak after starting the season winless through five weeks. Both teams suck, though, and neither could even reach 300 points. I'm not going to waste my time on their worthless players.
Updated Power Rankings
1. Misery Loves Company (7-1, up one)
2. The MicroBrewers (7-1, down one)
3. Miggy and the bottomofthefifth (5-3, up one)
4. Sledgehammering Whippersnappers (5-3) down one)
5. Trickle Down Fantasy (3-5, up two)
6. Vegetarian Donut Diet (3-5, down one)
7. Tomato Tabata (4-4, down one)
8. Noah's Traveling All-Stars (2-6, up two)
9. Bourn Identity (2-6, even)
10. Mitch Stetter Moonbounce (2-6, down two)
Week 9 Matchups
The Microbrewers vs Noah's Traveling All-Stars
Trickle Down Fantasy vs Miggy and the bottomofthefifth
Bourn Identity vs Tomato Tabata
Vegetarian Donut Diet vs Sledgehammering Whippersnappers
And our matchup of the Week:
Misery Loves Company vs Mitch Stetter Moonbounce
After dethroning the Microbrewers for the top spot in the power rankings, new leader Misery Loves Company takes on the worst of the power rankings in Moonbounce. How will he respond to having a target on his back? So far, he's already losing 64.1 to 7.7.
Also, since Acheron wants credit, he beat current 2-6 Mitch Stetter Moonbounce, who is the worst of the worst in the premier league right now. I hope he is proud of himself.