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Hyatt and Yar Nivek's Mid-Season Review, featuring Hans Moleman, The Wizard of Oz, Hand Love, and David Halberstam

Oh, you thought you were done? Not so fast, my friend. The final word has not come down until Yar and I have our say as representing the fantasy baseball community here at BCB in the way we know best.  So without further ado...

What are your thoughts on Ron Renicke?

Yar: I believe that Ron Renicke is a great man and a greater manager.  He makes all the right decisions in the game, and the players love and respect him.  Why the hell Doug and Mark hired Ron Roenicke instead I have no idea.  

Hyatt: My bad on the spelling.  As for the Brewers Manager, I disagree with his philosophy of unchecked aggression in the base paths.  Nothing has been more frustrating as to see all the baserunning outs the Crew has been producing, unless it is having your LOOGY intentionally walk Ryan Howard to pitch to Pat Burrell and then Shane Victorino.  Seriously though, we have guys on the team who either have the worst baserunning instincts (Gomez) or are not fast enough to be aggressive (McGehee).  He is the wrong guy for the position. In short, crotch punch.


What do you think should be done with Yuni?

Yar: I like to think of Yuni as the Hans Moleman of this club, short, blind, and pathetic.  And luckily, Hans Moleman gives us a plethora of ideas of what should be done with Yuni.  I would love it if an ether-high Doug Melvin drilled a hole in Yuni's head to "get those Lucky Charms."  Or if he was buried alive and didn't say anything because he "didn't want to make a fuss".  Or Yuni could be driving a Gremlin down the street, when a young child tells the bus driver there's a gremlin on the bus, so the bus driver swerves...sending Yuni and his Gremlin off the road, stopping just short of a tree where it promptly explodes.  Or getting hit in the groin with a football on camera.  I mean, there are just so many choices.  As long as he suffers for the suffering he has caused fans and his teammates.

Hyatt: I think you're stuck with the Moleman theme.  Personally, I like to go with infectious diseases.  Perhaps a carbunkle on his thigh that never goes away and thus causes him the pain that he's caused us with his statuesque defense.  Then again, he doesn't move well as is.  So I think he already has said carbunkle.  Setting him on fire while waterboarding the guy seems like a good way to go.  Just as long as he's no longer manning short.  He is the second worse ballplayer I've ever seen behind the standard for horrible ballplayers, Neifi Perez.  Jason Kendall was at least good when he was young.

How excited are you about Greinke's 2nd half?

Yar: Honestly, Greinke's Level 85 Gnome Mage is 5-7 and not even in my division....I don't really care.  He has some exciting young players and established veterans in his lineup, but his pitching is a mess.  I mean, there's really nobody among his pitchers to get excited about, except maybe Zack Greinke (MIL), who I think will have a good second half.  His injury behind him, and the playoffs before him like the shimmering Emerald City at the end of the yellow brick road we call the regular season.  Because of his Social Anxiety disorder, the Lollipop Guild caused some serious emotional trauma that he is just now getting over.  Luckily from here on out it's just beautiful women in bubbles and flying monkeys which Greinke can pick off with a few well placed fastballs.  He's going to push the Brewers ahead towards that Emerald City of playoff baseball, and when they get there, he's going to reveal the Wizard behind the curtain so that everybody sees how horrible the umpiring really is.  Then he's going to get courage, or something, and go home to see his loving family again.  The end.

Hyatt: I have been apprehensive about Zack since he decided the try take a charge with his ribs.  I honestly believe that he will take us so close to the promised land, and then just break down Jim Bunning style in the 1964 season (read October 1964 by David Halberstam, it wasn't his fault, but he still failed). It's a very pessimistic way of looking at things, but it's just this sick feeling I have in the pit of my stomach that he'll be the hanj scene in Cruel intentions, leaving poor Ryan Philippe (us Brewer fans) with a horrible case of off-season blue balls. 

Lightning Round!

If you had to grade Ron Roenicke's performance to date, what would you give him? 

Yar: B+.  We've heard plenty of times what he does well.  But honestly, how can you expect him to make the proper in-game decisions when the scorecard doesn't have any vowels in the replacements names?  Roenicke is forced to remember who his backups are, and with just consonants to go by, it keeps coming up Kotsay.  Also, that relief pitcher "L" is actually right handed Ron, and struggles against lefties.  Hopefully his bench coach's spelling improves in the 2nd half, and we start to see some better decisions. 

Hyatt: B-.  I disagree with his philosophy, but the Crew is in first place.  If someone were to finally steal those nude photos of him from Kotsay, his bench decision making would improve and raise him to a B.

Give me one roster move the Brewers should make today. 

Yar: 9 Greinkes.

Hyatt: 8 more Plushes

Do you think this Brewer team will make the playoffs?

Yar: See- Emerald City

Hyatt: Sadly no.

Which Brewer are you most excited to watch in the second half?

Yar: Yuni.  Train wrecks are fun to watch, and I don't think there is anything that any player could do that would be more exciting for me to watch than Yuni getting benched or worse!

Hyatt: Jose Reyes (wakes up from amazing dream).  I agree with above, and routing for the "or worse!"

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