The Curse(Why I Fail at Life)

Baseball is an odd sport. The thing that makes it the weirdest, though, is its players and fans belief in superstition.

Superstition is a large part of the game we love. Players will wear a certain style sock because they believe they bat better in them, fans will only wear their favorite Brewer shirt backwards on the first Wednesday of the month because they are undefeated while doing so. Superstition is even a huge part of baseball history. If you look at the Cubs alone, there is the curse of the goat, the black cat, and the Bartman incident, all of which most baseball fans are very familiar with. I could go on about this all day. So, I'm sure you're asking yourself why you give a crap that I've noticed this quirk about the game? Well, that's because I'm sure I'm to blame for the recent Brewers skid.

I own a cursed shirt. It was given to me as a gift from my wife in September of 2008. It is a Brewers shirt that says "Mission October 2008 World Series". As every fan was at the time, I was crazed with pleasure that my blue crew were in the hunt. When I received the shirt, I wore it proudly. The Brewers skidded after that. The next time I wore the shirt was game 1 of the NLDS, and we all know how that turned out. I decided that after only wearing it two times, the shirt was cursed and was to never see the light of day.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was cleaning out my guest room closet and stumbled across the cursed shirt. In the time since I banished it, I had reconsidered my conclusion. The Brewers were on their way to the post season and were unstoppable, right? I wore it for the first game of the Cardinal series. A beautiful win assured me that the curse was bunk and I was a fool.

Yeah, I was right, this is a damned shirt. This is like the Broodwich from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, except that it affects the Brewers. What have I done!? There has to be a way to fix this. Silver bullets are expensive and may not remove the curse. I can't drown an inanimate object. I have to burn it! This is an exorcism, and there are rules to follow.

Shot at 2011-09-15

I'm required to have a representative of the Brewers on hand to verify that I am following the proper procedures. Prince came right over.

Shot at 2011-09-15

Taps was played loudly as I set the shirt into the fire pit. It was soaked in flammable liquids and ignited quickly. Prince and I hung our heads low and prayed to Jobu.

 

The curse properly eradicated, Prince informed me that he made those comments to throw off the other teams interested in his services. Keep it on the hush, but he said he's going to sign a 5 year deal in the neighborhood of $30. That Prince is sure a nice guy!

Let's go get ‘em Crew!