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BCB Fantasy Football Week 5 Review

Football isn't nearly as fun when your team is not very good at football. I really wonder how Chiefs and Dolphin fans have done it for years. Imagine being a Jags fan, how depressing would that be? You have to imagine since I don't think they actually exist, like people from Delaware. There is nothing worse than your best result is mediocrity. I feel bad for those fan bases.

On to this week in fantasy, in which I had a crap week save one team.

BCB 1:

Fiesta's Stomp the Yard had another big week with Reggie Wayne, Demaryius Thomas, Victor Cruz and Matty Ice all coming together and overcoming CJ2Fat's terrible performance as he beat Masondlo's BACs. Mason had issues with Mike Wallace and the Packers D, but had an otherwise solid but not spectacular week.

Cheezconqueso is super thankful that icecreamman liked Jackie Battle more than Steven Ridley, and was able to win with Colston and Harvin having big weeks overcoming the ICBs in a high scoring game. icecreamman had Ahmad BRadshaw and Brees combine for 75 points, but the rest of his team didn't help out enough with the aforementioned Battle going for just 3.

BrewCrewBrian's Jerry Sandusky's Lil Giants took my Sanchez's lil black yearbook to the woodshed this week with a big win for him. Tony Gonzalez and Wes Welker were huge for him while my team wasted a huge effort from the Bears D with my starting RBs and Receivers combining for a total of 25 points. 25. That's fucking it.

Leam's CAM, I wish I was your lover had an absolutely horrible week, but was still able to beat the anemic Jintao Labor Camp. This game featured a total of 4 players in double digits between the two teams, and Leam had 3 of them. I can't blame tepo for rolling out the lineup he did. Who would think that Jay Cutler would outscore anyone on another roster. But them's the breaks.

Oly had a solid week to beat Jeo's unemployed honey badgers. The 10K Sack Attack got good performances out of Peyton and Trent Richardson to lead the way, where Jeo only had A-rodg. This may be the worst start to a season of any guy with the 1st overall pick that I've ever seen.

BCB 2:

aaronetc's Flood the Zone with Cheryl Tunt continues his hot streak with a big win over jerryheldred's 50 Shades of Heyward-Bey. the Tunts got huge contributions from Wayne, Rodgers, and Brandon Marshall. 50's team was just in the dumps with 5 guys scoring less than 5 points and only getting good performances out of Julio Jones and AJ Green.

My Man Sploosh also had a great week coming up with a win over Arfuture's Hey That's My Dick Jauran. Harvin, Cruz, Ryan Matthews and Matty Ice all had good performances to outpace Arfuture's Colston, Crabtree, and Cutler. He was doomed by poor performances from his running backs as neither Steven Jackson nor Ced Benson scored more than 7.

Rendezvous's Mustached Americans had an easy go of it over golfallday's Lil Sebastian Janikowskis, Brees, Bradshaw, Richardson, and Jamal Charles led the way for Vous, overcoming a combined 6 points from Andre Johnson and Jermichael Finley. The Janos only had Peyton's 32 as their only score over 16 points.

After starting out slow, obibraunkenobi's Raiders of the lost glory hole has strung together 2 wins in a row, including this week's over Texwestern's JoPa's Blind Eye. Brady, Ridley, James Jones, and D Thomas were all over 20 points each for obi, while Tex's anemic effort only saw Welker putting up anything eye catching.

Kfeyzi continues to roll with a victory over doubleB's Kim John Kuhn. Tony G, Eli, and Arian led the way for Kfeyzi's squad who lead BCB 2 with 4 wins. doubleB couldn't overcome shoddy performances from his RBs who combined for 12 points total, wasting good efforts from the Bears D and Rivers.

BCB 3

BRewGuyTim's strong performances continued as his spiking Montee's Ball dispatched Noah's Sombody that I used to So'oto. Wayne, Harvin, Ryan, and Charles led the way for the Balls and overcame a combined 1 point from Jimmy Graham and Jerome Simpson. Noah had a solid effort, especially from the combo of Peyton and D Thomas, but a combined 10 points from Jordy and Torey Smith doomed him.

Oh look at that Dumpster Fire putting up HUGE numbers to crush Meiz. Yar Nivek remains undefeated despite starting Dexter McCluster. He had Colston, Tony G, Arian, Rivers, and Richardson with great efforts to lead the way. Meiz had little answer with only AJ Green over 20 points.

Zorakathura had the Texans D put up 12 last night to pull past JP in a 6 point victory (tied for closest of the week). While neither team had a good week, Zora's WR combination of Jones and Cruz were enough to pass the Brady Welker combo of JP.

Jarlbartar's losing streak continued as tcyoung had a big week to beat the reeling Soapin up with Jerry's Kids (I typed Jerry's Kids, but saying "reeling Jerry's kids" is a bit too much). Rodgers and Bradshaw led the way for the Rusty Zombones, while Jarl only had Brandon Marshall as a notable scorer and 5 guys in single digits.

What happens when you get a combined 15 points from your QB, RBs, flex and Kicker? You lose, like my Van Stains did to BRewerspug's Working to Shiva's Bush. Wasting good efforts from the Bears D (Wait, did anyone with the Bears D win this week? I don't think they did.) and Ryan Matthews, I couldn't overcome Shiva's Eli and Ridley performance.

The Thanks For Nothing, Jerk team of the week. I have a lot of these guys, so it won't be too rough to find.

QB- Cam Newton 7- RG3 doesn't count since he got hurt, but that didn't matter for one of my teams, who have both Cam and RG3.

RB- Ben Jarvis Green Ellis 2

RB- CJ2FAT 1

WR- Mike Wallace 3

WR- Jordy Nelson 4

TE- Jimmy Graham 1

Flex- Jerome Simpson 0

D- Bills -3: Again, anyone remember when the Bills D was supposed to be good this year? Oops.

K- Rod Bironas 1

The This Guy was actually on someone's bench Team of the week. I'm changing this up since it's time consuming, so all of these guys were on someone's bench.

QB- Drew Brees 39 (they started Matt Ryan instead)

RB- Steven Ridley 22

RB- Rashard Mendenhall 18

WR- Michael Crabtree 26

WR- James Jones 20

TE- Jared Cook 14

D- Pittsburgh 12

The Yar Nivek Award: Leam scored 93, the 4th fewest points this week, and won

The Hard Luck Loser: Icecreamman put up 154, tied for 7th most, and lost.

Team of the Week: Yar Nivek Exploded with 185.5 to earn the TotW honors.

Power rank: Fiesta maintains the top spot in the power ranks this week, and Tepo is solidifying his stance as the worst team, almost 10 power points behind the next worst team. All that can change in a week, but still, not good.

Rank BCB Name Team Name League Wk 5 Pts Wk 5 Pow Wins Total Pts Total Pow
1 Fiesta Stomp The Yard ft. N. Suh 1 165 28 3 743 112.5
2 CheezeConQueso Finley Shades of Gray 1 167.5 29 4 705.5 107.5
3 aaronetc Flood the Zone w/ Cheryl Tunt 2 161 26 3 728 101
4 BrewGuyTim Spiking Montee's Ball 3 161.5 27 4 697.5 100.5
5 Yar Nivek Man Gets Hit By Football 3 185.5 30 5 745 100
6 Masondlo Blackmon's Apologetic Cocktail 1 123.5 15 3 687.5 99
7 Hyatt Man-Sploosh 2 156 25 3 686.5 98.5
8 Hyatt Sanchez's Lil Black Yearbook 1 116 14 3 671 91
9 rendezvous Mustached Americans 2 153 21 3 685.5 90
10 Zorakathura Burn in Harrell 3 113 12 4 670 88
11 Golfallday Lil Sebastian Janikowski 2 109.5 10 3 667.5 88
12 ObiBraunKenobi Raiders of the lost Glory Hole 2 145 18 2 663 87
13 Mr Leam Cam, I Wish I was your lover 1 93 4.5 3 648.5 85.5
14 kfeyzi Ochocinco's Casting Tape 2 153 21 4 673.5 85
15 texwestern JoPas Blind Eye 2 108 9 3 630 78
16 brewcrewbrian Jerry Sandusky's Little Giants 1 153 21 3 669 76.5
17 jarlbartar Soapin Up with Jerry's Kids 3 105 7 1 627 74.5
18 Olyknows Saints $10k Sack Attack 1 126.5 16 3 620.5 71.5
19 Icecreamman Ice Cold Bruschis 1 154 23.5 2 630 70
20 brewerspug Working To Shiva's Bush 3 112 11 2 600.5 70
21 tcyoung Rusty Zombone 3 154 23.5 2 614 69.5
22 JP The Duke Silver Experience 3 107 8 2 616 69
23 Dikembe Meiz Ocho Benoit 3 104 6 2 598 65
24 Noah Jarosh Somebody that I used to So'oto 3 129 17 1 632.5 64
25 arfuture1985 Hey That's My Dick Jauron 2 152 19 2 595 58
26 DoubleB440 Supreme Leader Kim John 2 114 13 1 560 49
27 Hyatt Unidentified Rob Ryan Van 3 93 4.5 2 565 48
28 JEO Unemployed Honey Badgers 1 92 3 1 544.5 47
29 jerryheldred 50 Shades of Heyword-Bey 2 85.5 1 1 558 45.5
30 tepo6688 Jintao Athletic Labor Camp 1 87 2 0 526.5 36
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