We had a couple HOLY MOTHER OF GOD performances this week. And what a time for them. Not too often does it get to must win games and two teams have the best games of any team of the year. If it were my team, they'd just sh*t the bed, and get ready for their invites to hawaii. Spoiler alert: you guys are all dead to me. Except for my one team in the playoffs. You're cool... until you f*ck me over by having a crap week. Then it's Okapi Syphilis all around!!!
(6) BrewCrewBrian's Jerry Sandusky's Little Giants beat (3) Fiesta's Stomp the Yard w/ Ndamukong Suh 160.5-132.5- What a time to decide to not dance with the girl that brought you here. Fiesta decided to bench Matt Ryan and Victor Cruz in favor of Andrew Luck and Demariyus Thomas and it cost him. The little Giants put up his best lineup possible even with Welker getting just 8, and moves on.
(4) Olyknows Saints 10K Sack Attack beat (5) Masondlo's Blackmon's Apologetic Cocktail 198.5-130.5- Wow, what a week by Oly. Mason really had no chance even if AJ Green didn't crap out. Oly had Cam, AP, and Lynch put up 43,33, and 33 points respectively. Throw in 48 points combined between Randall Cobb and Vincent Jackson, and what you have ladies and gents, is an ass beating.
Next week's Semi Final Matchups:
(2) Leam's Cam, I wish I was your lover vs. (6) BrewCrewBrian's Jerry Sandusky's little Giants.
(1) CheezconQueso's Finley Shades of Gray vs. (4) Olyknows' Saints 10K Sack Attack
Before you get on my case about it, Espin doesn't reseed after the first round.
(5) jerryheldred's 50 Shades of Heyward Bey beat kfeyzi's Ochocinco's Casting Tape 129.5-128.5- Kfeyzi will curse the name of Greg Jennings for the rest of his existence (if this were a money league). He could've played any other receiver in his arsenal, and won. But Jennings was the call, he put up 3, and that was the difference. jerry's squad outside of Cam didn't have the best of days. But it was enough to propel him into the next round.
(6) GolfAllDay's Lil Sebatian Janikowski beat Aaronetc's Flood the Zone with Cheryl Tunt 200 (yes, that is 200)-155.5- The tunts finally got off the poor score kick and put up a very respectable score. He was only 9 points off his perfect lineup, benching Rodgers and Rodgers (Aaron and Jaquizz) in favor of Luck and Alex Green. It didn't matter. The Lil Sebastians showed Parks and Rec inspired names trump Archer inspired by putting up the most ridiculous score of the year. Led by the Seahawks D's amazing effort in shutting out a piddly Arizona team, as well as great efforts from Ray Rice, Knowshon, Vjax, and Sproles, he put up the first 200 spot in the history of BCB fantasy football. Amazing really.
Next Week's Matchups:
(1) Redezvous Mustached Americans v. Jerryheldred's 50 Shades of Heyward Bey
(2) Texwestern's Jopa's Blind Eye v. (6) GolfAllDay's Lil Sebastian Janikowskis
(5) JP's The Duke Silver Experience beat (4) Zorakathura's Burn in Harrell 137.5-93.5- Not the best week to have one of your worst performances, Zora. Luck, Cj2Fat, and Spiller let him down big time as not even starting Big Ben would've helped. JP had good performances from Brady, Sproles, Aaron Hernandez, and the Browns D to take himself to the next round.
(3) BrewGuyTim's Spiking Montee's Ball beat (6) BrewersPug's Working to Shiva's Bush 153.5-118.5- As much of a fight as the only below .500 team in the playoffs put up, decisions like starting Chris Givens over Mike Wallace cost him. It would've made it closer, but he wasn't able to catch BrewGuyTim's squad who got double digit performances across the board (save his kicker) for a convincing win to move on.
Next Week's Matchups:
(1) Yar Nivek's Man Gets Hit By Football v. (5) JP's The Duke Silver Experience
(2) My Unidentified Rob Ryan Van Stains v. (3) BrewGuyTim's Spiking Montee's Ball
Now here are the results of the Power Ranking Elite 8 Matchups:
Boys II Menorah Regional Final
(8) Olyknows Saints 10K Sack Attack beat (17) rendezvous's Mustached Americans 198.5-126.5- Not much Rendezvous can do there. He was on a playoff bye, and to make matters worse, his starting TE Jared Cook went down with a torn rotator cuff. Luckily, it's Bears week and you can count on Jermicahel Finely for 2 games a year. Both against the Bears.
Racist Parrot Regional Final
4 Fiesta's Stomp the Yard beat 5 Masondlo's BAC 132.5-130.5: Both teams performances are reviewed above, so not all bad news for Fiesta. Mason took it in the crotch twice, so that's bad.
Buzz One Out Regional Final
18 My Unidentified Rob Ryan Van Stain beat 23 Arfuture's Hey That's My Dick Jaraun 142.5-91.5: When it comes to Cinderellas in the bottom half of the rankings, only one can dance until midnight. And that's my boys!!! Led by Cam, Megatron, and Cobb, the van stains easily outpaced Arfuture's squad. He lost to doubleB440 in his consolation matchup, so you know he was having a bad week. He also had Megatron, but no one else scored more than 18 for him, including abysmal single digit performances from Colston, Leshoure, V Davis, and the Falcons D.
AH-MAH-ZING Whore's Bath Regional Final
14 Leam's Cam, I wish I was your lover beat 11 Noah's Somebody that I used to So'oto 115.5-109.5- Noah's late season surge came to an end this week as Leam's squad took them out. Leam's squad was led by Steve Smith, who was the only one at 20, but he had 5 other guys in the double digits to help put him over the top. Noah had a great performance from AP, but was let down by Bryce Brown and Torrey Smith big time, and no one else over 19.
So we have our Final Four!!! And next week, the matchups for semi bragging rights are:
(8) Olyknows Saints 10K Sack Attack v. 4 Fiesta's Stomp the Yard
14 Leam's Cam, I wish I was your lover v. 18 My Unidentified Rob Ryan Van Stain
Good luck everyone in your matchup. And if you aren't in, just feel free to curse your players in the comments again.