JBL 2: Secret of the ooze Week* 1 review

I checked out mkecheese's D League Review and I came away quite impressed. Links, top hitters, bottom hitters, top pitchers, ranks, etc. Needless to say you won't find that here. You will find my analysis (heh. anal.) of how we did. So I'll just tell you that if you want standings, you should know this already to make sure you didn't keep James Shields on the bench for his Patriots day start.

Patriots day, what a friggin crock. OOOHHH we're going to run a marathon and start a baseball game at 10 because we're boston. You stupid racists. What are you doing with the rest of your day now that all that bullsh is done by 2? Morons. You want a good slurping, turn on ESPN. You won't find that here. On to the games.

Golfallday's Poopy Pence beat Saltire's My Other Car is a Gallardo 8-2: Just a quick reminder, our categories are R, H, RBI, OBP, and SLG on offense and QS, K, SV, ERA, and WHIP for Pitchers. Anyway, despite a great week from Corey Hart and Matt Harrison, Saltire was doomed by terrible efforts from Drew Stubbs and Josh Johnson. In fact, his entire rotation had a WHIP of 1.533. You won't win many weeks that way. Golfallday had great weeks from Billingsley, and His 2 Carloses (Beltran and Santana) and overcame bad weeks from Scherzer, Freeman, and Kendrys. There wasn't much close in this one, as he dominated runs, RBI, SLG and Ks.

Cheezconqueso's It Bruans when I pee beat JP's Overclocked Rebellion 7-3: Offensively, this matchup was as close at it gets. JP took RBI by 3 and OBP by just .0049, while Cheez took SLG by .0136, 3 R, and 2 SB. Pitching is what made the difference. Poor weeks by Dans Haren and Hudson as well as relief problems from another Dan in Bard doomed JP as McCarthy and Kennedy led Cheez to the victory. Offensive stars and disappointments were had on both sides with Cheez having great week*s from JD Martinez and Cuddyer while Jupton and Ike Davis were on the other side of the coin. JP got love from Hamilton, but Mark Reynolds and Mike Napoli were awful.

Hyatt's Actually Doug, I knew her well beat Kraw's John Jaha Shirsey 7-3: MY SQUAD WAS VICTORIOUS!!! This was in spite of Danny Espinosa and both Yus (darvish and Nel Escobar) defecating in their own sleeping places. Amazingly, every one of my handflul of starters had a quality start which was a category I thought I was pretty much punting. I also took all 4 rate stats, mostly due to Kraw's horrible pitching this past session from Randy Wolf, Clay Buccholz and Aaron Harang were all awful. Even with Matt Kemp and David Freese, he couldn't overcome my offensive squad of Iannetta, Austin Jackson, and Edwin Encarnacion.

I have to take care of the kids now, so here's the scores from the remaining games:

Saberilliterate's It's Aoki with me beat StlouisHusker's Perpetual Motion Squad 6-4

Charlie Marlow's TLR's Social Drinkers beat Timcyoung's A Dale's Sveugina 6-4

JEO and Leam as well as Tepo and nthnttn tied at 5-5

Weekly team leaders and losers:

Runs: Poopy Pence 68, Irritable Foul Syndrome 41

RBI: John Jaha Shirsey 71, Perpetual Motion Squad 36

SB: Perpetual Motion Squad 13, It's Aoki with me and Overclocked Rebellion 4

OBP: It's Aoki with me .3653, Irritable Foul Syndrome .3000

SLG: More Than Conquerers .4976, My other car is a Gallardo .3317

QS: Irritable Foul Syndrome and Perpetual Motion Squad 10, Overclocked Rebellion 2

K: Irritable Foul Syndrome 108, Overclocked Rebellion 61

Sv: Overclocked Rebellion 11, Poopy Pence It Brauns when I pee and Actually Doug 1

ERA: It's Aoki with me 2.153, John Jaha Shirsey 5.583

WHIP: TLR's Social Drinkers 1.007, My Other Car is a Gallardo 1.533

I'll write more later, just feel free to hate your guys in the comments and issue your threats to your future opponents there as well. Tepo, you are not very good at this. Boom. Nailed it.

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