Blowouts! Blowouts! Blowouts! Those three words sum up the JBL this week as some teams just made other teams look bad. Like really bad. Like your almost 2 year old son throwing brand new Kindle Fire that you won from work into the pool because your wife left it out where he could get it despite you knowing that 1) he likes grabbing everything he can and 2) he also likes throwing stuff in the pool bad. That bad.
Let's see what happened:
Kraw's Poopy Pence beat Golfallday's John Jaha Shirseys 10-0: Why is Golfallday's squad so bad? He's got Matt Kemp, David Freese is a safe play against the NL Central and Michael Saunders as well as Chase Headley have beenrevelations. But the rest of his team is just awful. He's getting nothing from the rest of his outfield, his middle infield, and most importantly 1B. As for Pitching, Cliff Lee's injury hurt, but outside of a resuscitated Joe Saunders, he's got literraly nothing going on. That will lead to losses, and blowouts.
This takes nothing away from Poopy Pence, who dominated,. However, Kraw's squad isn't exactly world beaters. They are in the top 3rd of the league in 3 categories, and middle of the pack in the rest. Not exactly world beaters, but enough to pull off some good victories.
Tepo's Irriatable Foul Syndrome beat Charlie Marlow's TLR Social Drinkers 9-0-1: Tepo rebounded nicely as Lincecum and Jay Bruce had monster weeks leading his squad to another domination this week. Charlie's squad is completely hamstrung this week by Pujols's terrible start and a meltdown from Ivan Nova. Anyone want to venture a guess as to why Prince Albert is having such a horriffic beginning in LA? I guess he lost his #5 charm on his necklace and is now being stalked by Robert DeNiro in his crazed fan turn from The Fan. I feel it's the only explanation.
CheezconQueso (that asshole) and his It Brauns when I Pee squad crushed my Actually Doug, I knew her well 7-3: You want to see a phenomenal pitchers dual in a week? Check out Cheez and me duking it out. Both ERAs sub 2.30 and the teams combined for 20 quality starts. Cheez won because my squad couldn't get on base for shit. Specifically Mark Teixeira and Hanley Ramirez who combined for 6 hits and walks in 49 PAs. When you can't get on base, you can't score runs or steal bases, and you can't drive in runs if you aren't hitting either. Also, I'd like to send a hearty get bent to Bruce Chen for costing me the ERA category with his craptastic performance on Sunday.
Timcyoung's A Dales Sveagina beat Leam's Larget Slaggers 7-3: The pitching here was very tight, as Leam snuck out the K's by 1, and the ERA by .18 with a solid win in Saves by 3. Timcy barely took the WHIP category by .02 and had one more QS. The Offense was a different matter, as Tim crushed Leam and it wasn't close. CarGo, Brian LeHair, and Jose Altuve had huge weeks. Leam has now seen what kind of slump Carlos Pena can get into, and had next to nothing from Gaby Sanchez.
nthnttn's More than Conquerors beat Saberilliterate's It's Aoki with me 5-3-2: OOOOOHHHH!!! Two ties! Though when it came down to it on Sunday, Grant Balfour's blown save blew the opportunity for the Conquerors to take the week thoroughly. When it came down to rate stats, Saber had a great pitching week with a sub 1.00 WHIP, but the Conquerors slugged over .500 for the week leading to their offensive victory.
JEO's At the Table? Like People? beat Saltire's My other car is a Gallardo 6-4: Another game that came down to Sunday as QS from CC and Gavin Floyd pushed JEO to even and Rickie and David Wright's SBs on Sunday won the week for him. Saltire had some pitching heartbreak as Josh Johnson got blown away on Sunday, Gallardo did his Cardinal routine, and Phil Humber had a tough time pulling off the van der Meer. Offensively both teams were good, but Jeo's was just good enough.
JP's Overclocked Rebellion beat Stlouishusker's Perpetual Motion Squad 5-4-1: Here's the shortest review ever: JP took the rate stats and Saves, Husker took the counting stats, and they tied on SBs.
So let's check leaderboards as I don't feel like handing out awards on the account of Mark Teixeira soiling my bed with statistical poop.
R (week) Timcy 48, R (overall) nthnttn 148
RBI (week) JEO 42, RBI (overall) Timcy 128
SB (week) Timcy 11, SB (overall) Timcy 33
OBP (week) Timcy .376, OBP (overall) nthnttn .362
SLG (week) Timcy again .540, SLG (overall) nthnttn .495
QS (week) Cheez 11, QS (overall) Cheez 28
K (week) Husker 77, K (overall) Husker 236
SV (week) 3 teams 6, Sv (overall) JP & Saber 20
ERA (week) Cheez 1.968, ERA (overall) Saber 2.368
WHIP (week) Saber 0.989, WHIP (overall) Charlie 1.052
Feel free to berate your players and competition in the comments.