Oh, No! The Countess and the Butler...

I haven't been to a library in a very long time. Then, there was this library, and I went to it to wait for a friend and do some drawings on a rainy day. It hadn't rained yet, so that's after the fact. There was probably a 30% chance, so it wasn't really on my mind, but it was no surprise. No...wait...actually, no, it wasn't a surprise. I'm not changing my mind on that.

Right behind the table, there was some William Burroughs. So, I guess, appropriately, there was this trash to my right. Not saying Burroughs was trash, at all. Just this book by an author I've never heard of. It's called The Countess and the Butler.. I kept looking at it, and pretty much thought it was the funniest thing, so, I took a picture of it while pretending to dial a number. The reason I pretended to dial a number was that there were people talking to themselves, and I figured any one of them could be paranoid. If I'd laughed about the book, actually, I'd have probably fit in. No offense to anyone, except that I wanted to describe things accurately, and there were people talking to themselves, and one was talking to a coat, and then kept walking away then then returning. Everybody is different, even though everyone is basically the same when you're a hot-air balloon, or something clever like that. Except if someone shoots the balloon down.* Then, you'd probably think differently.

*either on purpose, or stupidly not on purpose.

(Edited for clarification): The Hot-air balloon was chosen because you can't hear anyone's opinion easily once you're off the ground. It's not the perfect scenario, because you'd have to not remember anyone's opinion, sort of like the way a meteor doesn't.


Anyhow, I guess it was the funniest thing because I thought "this has to be really a terrible book." If it was one of those "one of them/(both of them) has/(have) a secret" plots, it just looked like it would be horrible. If nobody had a secret, the book looked way too long to be that sort of plot.

I did a search for the book, finally, yesterday. A day after the library. Before I did the search, the important part is that I thought it needed the Dew Deck climbing wall. Then it would have been a good book. I didn't read it. I would have read it, if I didn't have to pick it up off the kiosk in plain view of somebody. Really, I'm not that brave of a person.


Anyhow, it turns out it was one of those secrets books, except is also probably some the latter, mentioned earlier. According to this review on Amazon, by Patricia:

"The Countess and the Butler is a light, predictable read. Prince Michael of Estavia has run afoul of his older brother, the ruler of their country, over whether or not to support Napoleon. Michael wants to resist Napoleon and certainly does not want their young sister, at school in England, to marry a cousin of the Emperor. Finding himself penniless in England, Michael takes on the job as butler for a widowed countess, who just happens to be close friends with his sister, Antonia. Natalie, widowed a year earlier after only 2 days of marriage to her older husband, must play hostess to a house party. Thus, she is agreeable to hiring Michael. The two are very much attracted to each other. Natalie, who is, in fact, a virgin- her marriage was never consummated- sets out to seduce her handsome butler."

I pretty much trust this review, enough. Again, the rest is here. The reader did grant the book 3 stars, which isn't bad. I'm just happy I didn't read it. Who can really relate to that story? If one isn't able to relate, how can it be all that creative if it's not told in a strange way? Maybe it's actually funny. Except, no. Not without a Mountain Dew can. Even if it's one where the logo wasn't drawn correctly. When they climb up the thing, then the Prince Michael secret would be easier, and all the other secrets, since Napoleon died such a long time ago. Napoleon died a really long time ago, when not measured against things like Volcanoes, and the like. It would be more like Mt. Fuji, then.

"Mount Fuji is an active volcano, which most recently erupted in 1708."

That didn't have to be quoted, at all. I could have just linked the site. Bad example, too. They're only 61 years apart, and that's just the eruption. But, it's about 10,000 years old, in its most current form, which isn't old. It's within the time frame of the Holocene epoch, which, if someone looks up the geologic time scale, and figures out how this would compare to about 209 years ago, it would be most appreciated, since I'm already confused about how I got to this point.

They should just include a giant climbing wall resembling a Mtn (Mountain!) Dew can, preferably with the correct logo and not the careless drawing, and then change the plot, and then not have it be about a Countess and a Butler unless it's a parody of itself.*

Every time I upload an image on the service, I have to choose either "family safe" or the other alternative. I struggled with this, but, decided to go with the former, still. It's family safe, now.


*It would still be terrible, though. It's terrible no matter what.

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