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Melvin's Office Musings




Below is a transcript of a conversation between Brewers bullpen hopeful Johnny Hellweg, and the Great Mustache in the Sky, Mr. Doug Melvin, which occurred sometime this morning.

*Johnny Hellweg walks into Doug Melvin's "Office" which appears to be little more than a corner in the maintenance room at Maryvale Baseball Park walled off with 4 empty refrigerator boxes, GM Doug Melvin is facing the wall

Johnny Hellweg - "Mr Melvin Sir?"

Doug Melvin - "Sit down Johnny......Johnny, I think you know why you're here so I'll do us both the courtesy of not reviewing what happened yesterday, sorry. My bullpen has a certain reputation, one which we're trying to change, the last thing we need right now is a lot of loose talk about individual pitching performances. "

JH - "I swear I didn't tell anybody anything, sir."

DM - *Grumbles inaudibly "Good, Good. You know, despite assigning you to relief this spring, I'm still convinced you have many fine off speed pitches and I think you could still become a starting pitcher someday. IF, you understand and abide by the rules of the no 3rd pitch. Johnny, Johnny.....there's a lot of.....badness in our minor league system today, I see it on the field everyday. I've designated boys younger than you for assignment. Didn't want to do it, felt I owed it to them. The most important decision you can make right now is what do you pitch for Johnny? Goodness, or badness?"

JH - "I know I've walked a lot of batters in the past, but I'm willing to make up for that"

*DM raises eyebrows and starts to crack a smile

JH - "I wanna be good"

*DM now smiling and nodding emphatically

DM - "Good, good, VERY good" *chuckles, JH follows suit with a half hearted chuckle of his own

DM - "You know, I know how hard it is for young pitchers nowadays and I wanna help. Well just ask my favorite scrap heap acquisition Marco Estrada, he and I are regular pals!"

*DM gets serious

DM - "Are you my pal, Mr. Middle Relief?"

JH - *Reluctantly "Yes sir....I'm your pal"

*DM laughs, perhaps noticing JH's reluctance at accepting a role he knows is beneath him, but is nonetheless satisfied that this talk has achieved his desired result

Now.........

HOW ABOUT A FRESCA!!!

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