Today is December 23. Happy Festivus, everybody!
As is tradition, Festivus will begin with the Airing of Grievances. And I've got a lot of problems with you Brewers this year!
- We obviously need to start with the second half of the 2014 season. You were up by three games in the division as late as August 17, then after that point you went 11-25. That's pathetic. You finished the season down eight games in the division and couldn't even get a wild card. That was the most depressing month-and-a-half ever. Real good consistency, there.
- I'm disappointed in the Brewers for signing Francisco Rodriguez. I don't care about his 3.04 ERA, his sub-1.00 WHIP, his 9.7 K/9...I can't root for him. The NFL has had a hell of a time as Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson have been the focus of domestic violence issues in sports. Rodriguez has been arrested twice on domestic violence charges, yet that barely receives any attention. There's a certain amount of asshole-ery that I can tolerate if someone is helping the Brewers win. Domestic violence goes beyond crossing that line. I hope he's never a Brewer again.
- Stop bunting so goldanged much.
- Damn it, Brewers, why didn't you try to fix Ryan Braun's thumb when he had an extra two-and-a-half months of off-season last year because of his suspension. Because nothing was done, he posted by far the worse season of his career in 2014, a big reason the Brewers didn't maintain a stranglehold on the division lead. They knew this was an issue! It didn't start in 2014, he was struggling with it in 2013 before he was suspended, as well! Something could have been done, but instead you chose rest and rehab! I know why they didn't choose surgery, and I can understand it, but this is the airing of grievances and rationability is not a part of that!
- First base! Mark Reynolds and Lyle Overbay were the solution? Nobody could have guessed that would result in among the worst production at first base in the league.
- This off season is really, really boring. Do something. Do something other than sign minor league outfielders. Give us something to talk about. Sign Max Scherzer. I don't care if that's a bad idea. Do it.
- What's up with the health of the bullpen? Jim Henderson, Tom Grozelanny, Tyler Thornburg, etc. all had major injuries that really hurt the Brewers late in games. You were supposed to form a strong relief corps. Learn to be healthy, dammit.
- I hope Blue Jays fans love home runs, because they're going to see a lot with Marco Estrada pitching.
- Stupid Cubs and their stupid payroll and stupid top prospects. I liked you when you were the punching bag of the NL Central for, like, two years. Keep being bad, stop being good.
- Stupid Cardinals, try losing for once. Everyone is sick of you.
- Stupid Pirates, stop making good low-profile moves and consistently getting better year after year.
- You're cool, though, Reds.
What are your Festivus grievances?