FanPost

2014 Brewer Rant-O-Matic


Brewer Rant-O-Matic

As a method for separating out ourselves from Old Vegas, when you are either too frustrated to make a cohesive, rational argument about what the Brewers need to improve, or your brain has just seized up as a result of too much tailgating and confusion from TOOTBLANs and infield platoons, please let the Brewer Rant-O-Matic state your argument for you.

Instructions:

Use (A) the last digit of your age, (B) the first letter of your last name, (C) the last number of your zip code, (D) your shoe size, (E) the number of seasons you’ve been a Brewers fan, and (F) your favorite color, and find the corresponding values from the following tables to fill in this sentence:

Oh my God, the Brewers are (A) __________ ! They need to trade (B) __________ for ( C) ___________ and fire (D) ___________ immediately! We need more players like (E) ____________ again. (F)___________

(A)
0 – horrible
1 – inconsistent
2 – frustrating
3 – weak
4 – garbage
5 – underachievers
6 – terrible
7 – lazy
8 – slumping
9 – one trade away from greatness

(B)
A – Bianchi
B – Braun
C – Davis
D – Duke
E – Estrada
F – Henderson
G – Garza
H – Herrera
I – Gomez
J – Gennett
K – Kintzler
L – Lohse
M – Maldonado
N – Rodriguez
O – Overbay
P – Peralta
Q – Segura
R – Reynolds
S – Schafer
T – Thornburg
U – Smith
V – Wooten
W – Weeks
X – Ramirez
Y – Gallardo
Z – Lucroy

(C)
1 – starting pitching
2 – relief pitching
3 – power hitting
4 – gold-glove fielding
5 – speed
6 – clutch hitting
7 – younger players
8 – top prospects
9 – a proven veteran
0 – whatever they can get

(D)
6 – 7 – Ron Roenicke
8 - Bruce Seid
9 - Reid Nichols
10 - The Narron Brothers
11 – 13 – Doug Melvin
>13 – everyone but Uecker and the racing sausages

(E)
1 - Corey Hart
2 - Zack Greinke
3 - Casey McGehee
4 - Prince Fielder
5 – Alcides Escobar
6 – Mike Cameron
7 – Francisco Cordero
8 – Bill Hall
9 – JJ Hardy
10 – Lyle Overbay
11 – Scott Posednik
12 – Ben Sheets
13 – Richie Sexson
14 – Geoff Jenkins
15 – Marquis Grissom
16 – Fernando Vina
17 – Jeromy Burnitz
18 – Jeff Cirillo
19 – Kevin Seitzer
20 – Greg Vaughn
21 – John Jaha
22 – Dante Bichette
23 – Teddy Higuera
24 – Gary Sheffield
25 – B.J. Surhoff
26 – Rob Deer
27 – Jim Gantner
28 – Paul Molitor
29 – Robin Yount
30 – Cecil Cooper
31 – Gorman Thomas
32 – Pete Vuckovich
33 – Sixto Lezcano
34 - Dave May
>34 – Tommy Harper

(F)
Red - The Brewers' baseball is bad and they should feel bad!
Orange - We have no future with C+ prospects!
Yellow - Sorry for peeing in your cheerios...
Brown - Every team needs at least 5 catchers!
Green - These are all must-win games!
Blue - The math is on our side!
Purple - You have no concept!
Black - I am not birthday!
White - Also, cheese.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Brew Crew Ball

You must be a member of Brew Crew Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Brew Crew Ball. You should read them.

Join Brew Crew Ball

You must be a member of Brew Crew Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Brew Crew Ball. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker