Well, I’m back. Actually, I made it back a couple of days ago. But then I made the mistake of calling my sister, who made the mistake of screaming at me and calling the police, who made the mistake (in my opinion) of questioning me endlessly about my admittedly weak alibi and why I was wearing "grandpa clothes." I told them I had taken a spur of the moment road trip to Mitchell, South Dakota – it was the first place that popped into my mind – and that all the cool kids were dressing like it was 1953 again. Blessedly, one of the officers confirmed this, muttering something about the UW-M hipsters who lived on his block. This didn’t keep them from asking variations on the same questions ad infinitum, or from asking annoying new questions about why I didn’t have any receipts or hotel charges or why I had apparently left my car outside my apartment the whole time, etcetera. And then once they were done, I went through the whole ordeal again with my stepsister, who was even less inclined to believe me. She insisted I stay over there last night, and I was only able to get away tonight after an emotionally and symbolically fraught family dinner and a tearful and suffocating ten-minute hug.
But I’m back now. And I’m exhausted. And my head is still reeling from everything that just happened to me. And I have so, so much to tell you. And apparently I’ve been the subject of some discussion on the site while I was away? Oh my. I haven’t actually read the posts yet. I’ll have to look into that and get back to you with my opinions sometime soon. For now, I need a pint of ice cream and a good night’s sleep. You’ll be hearing from me soon.
Hey, and it looks like the Brewers did all right for themselves while I was away! If I hadn’t had such a hard time getting back, I’d think that I should go away more often! More on all that later, though. Misters Ben, Jerry, and TempurPedic beckon.
Talk to you soon, everybody.