Some things to read while watching out for giant inflatable bears.

If you're wondering where today's Winter League Update went, there isn't one. Everyone was off yesterday. The Update will be back tomorrow.

There are 74 more days until pitchers and catchers report, but only four more to vote in the BCB Reader Survey. Please take a moment to do so, if you haven't already.

As noted below, the Brewers offered arbitration to CC Sabathia, Ben Sheets and Brian Shouse yesterday, but declined to offer it to Eric Gagne. If Sabathia or Sheets sign with another team, the Brewers get one of thier draft picks (either in the bottom half of the first round or the top of the second), and a pick between the first and second rounds. If Shouse signs with another team, the Brewers just get a pick between the first and second rounds. Gagne is free to sign with anyone, no compensation required.

Also, as noted in the FanShots, the Brewers signed former Braves 1B Scott Thorman to a minor league deal and invited him to spring training. Barring some sort of emergency, he likely won't appear above AAA in 2009.

Are you craving more CC Sabathia links? Rob Neyer wonders if Sabathia's weight and the New York media's tendencies to make fun of overweight athletes might make the Yankees a bad fit for the 290 lb lefty. Meanwhile, Peter Gammons is suggesting the Angels may court him by taking him to Del Taco.

Now, a moment to focus on Jason Kendall's defense. Beyond the Box Score says he saved 4.86 runs this season by blocking pitches, the third most in all of baseball. Kendall's actual block percentage is lower than a handful of other catchers, but Kendall saved more runs based on increased opportunity.

Via Rattler Radio, I noticed that MILB.com has started their Top 50 prospects list, and Jeremy Jeffress is #44. There's a joke here about being high on Jeffress, but I'll pass. Prospects 31-40 are due out today.

This year's Hall of Fame voters will see the smallest ballot ever, with only 23 players eligible for induction. Among ten first time candidates are former Brewers Jesse Orosco, Dan Plesac and Greg Vaughn.

Lots of arbitration news, and some other stuff on the hot stove today:

Angels: Offered arbitration to Francisco Rodriguez, Mark Teixiera, Darren Oliver and Jon Garland, but not Garret Anderson.
Astros: Signed Mike Hampton to a one year deal.
Blue Jays: Offered arbitration to A.J. Burnett but not Gregg Zaun.
Braves: Declined to offer arbitration to John Smoltz.
Cardinals: Declined to offer arbitration to Russ Springer, Braden Looper and Jason Isringhausen.
Cubs: Declined to offer arbitration to Kerry Wood.
D-Backs: Offered arbitration to Orlando Hudson, Juan Cruz and Brandon Lyon, but not to Adam Dunn or Randy Johnson.
Dodgers: Offered arbitration to Manny Ramirez, Derek Lowe and Casey Blake but declined to offer it to Joe Beimel, Greg Maddux, Brad Penny and Jeff Kent.
Giants: Declined to offer arbitration to Rich Aurilia.
Marlins: Declined to offer arbitration to Luis Gonzalez, Paul Lo Duca and Arthur Rhodes. They may also be looking to trade Matt Treanor.
Mets: Offered arbitration to Oliver Perez but not Luis Ayala or Moises Alou. They also signed C Rene Rivera.
Padres: Declined to offer arbitration to Trevor Hoffman.
Phillies: Declined to offer arbitration to Pat Burrell and Jamie Moyer. They also expressed interest in Mark Loretta.
Rangers: Offered arbitration to Milton Bradley.
Reds: Offered arbitration to David Weathers and extended an offer to Arthur Rhodes.
Rockies: Offered arbitration to Brian Fuentes.
Royals: Offered arbitration to Mark Grudzielanek.
Tigers: Declined to offer arbitration to Edgar Renteria.
Twins: Offered arbitration to Dennys Reyes.
White Sox: Offered arbitration to Orlando Cabrera, but not to Ken Griffey, Toby Hall or Juan Uribe.
Yankees: Declined to offer arbitration to all eight of their free agents, including Andy Pettitte, Bobby Abreu, Jason Giambi and Chad Moeller.

If you want to check my work or see all this information nicely color coded, Amazin' Avenue has you covered.

Also, the Hanshin Tigers have reportedly agreed to a deal with Kevin Mench.

On a sad note, Blue Jays owner Ted Rogers has passed away. He was 75.

Fire Brand of the American League recently interviewed Peter Gammons, and of course they asked him what he thinks of blogs. His response is moderately incoherent and rambles off onto a tangent, but I think it's possible he likes blogs...maybe?

Oh, and it took Kirbir and I, working together, an hour and a half to beat this game yesterday. Can you do better? I never would have gotten out of the bathroom without her.

Drink up.

Some things to read while making excuses for not doing anything today.

We open today with a Sabathia Smorgasbord:

• Ken Davidoff, via MLB Trade Rumors, reports the Yankees might be willing to raise their offer to $150 million over six seasons if another team, like the Angels, offers Sabathia $130 million.
• Rob Neyer says replacing Jon Garland with Sabathia would make the Angels 3-4 wins better next season, which doesn't sound like much but becomes more relevant when you realize the 2008 Angels already won 100 games. And if Jon Garland is as bad as projected in 2009, the difference is even bigger.
• Everyone loves CC. Absolutely everyone. Not only is he friends with LeBron James, Mike Cameron and Nick Swisher, but Buster Olney says his best friend in baseball is David Riske.
• Sabathia's midseason acquisition and the jersey rush that followed are probably a big part of the reason the Brewers sold more named jerseys than any other team in 2008.
• FanGraphs says Sabathia had the single greatest pitching performance in 2008. (Ben Sheets had the second best.)
• Kenny Doyle of Dugout Central says the Braves need CC Sabathia...because he's black. I tend to think he's valuable for reasons that extend beyond his skin color.
• Over 10,000 people have voted, and so far the Yankees hold a slight edge in Ken Rosenthal's poll on CC Sabathia's destination.
• Sabathia was second on The Brew Town Beat's Top Ten List of things to be thankful for.
• Sabathia also made Big League Stew's list of 101 things, along with Ryan Braun's nickname, Bob Uecker, and the food and tailgating at Miller Park.

Of course, there is other movement on the free agent market. These two pieces of news were so huge, for example, that the mainstream media just assumed you knew about them and passed by: Mel Stocker is a Mariner and Callix Crabbe might be too.

Since they haven't signed any Type A or B free agents (yet), the Brewers still project to draft 27th in the 2009 draft. With two Type A free agents (Sabathia and Sheets) still out there, they stand to pick up several extra early picks.

Here's a mishmash of one sentence notes falling under the heading of "bullpen:"

• The Rockies are reportedly targeting Brian Shouse.
• Seth McClung made the final four candidates in FanGraphs' search for 2009's best mop up pitcher.
• Salomon Torres hasn't officially retired yet. He still needs to turn in the paperwork.

Baseball Musings takes a look at how defense affected pitchers in 2008. Sabathia, Ben Sheets and Dave Bush were helped the most by the Brewer defense, while Carlos Villanueva was the only Brewer to be hurt by it.

While I'm on the subject of defense: I know fielding percentages and error counts are not the only or the best way to measure defensive ability, but Vinny Rottino, Brendan Katin and Tony Gwynn were all among the bottom of AAA in terms of fielding percentage and among the leaders in errors. Just saying.

I hope everyone remembered yesterday to be thankful for R.J. Swindle. He's Canadian, so his Thanksgiving is actually the second Monday in October, but Independent Baseball Chatter says he has extra reason to be thankful this season anyway.

If Balking Traditionalism's 2009 pitching projections are accurate, we may not have as much Brewer success to be thankful for at this time next year.

Rowland's Office thinks the Braves are making a mistake pursuing A.J. Burnett if the price is five years, $75 million, comparing Burnett to Pete Harnisch. He thinks the Braves should pursue Ben Sheets instead.

And if free agent pitching is too expensive for you, Baseball Analysts takes a look at some pitchers available in the Rule 5 Draft.

I didn't collect as many hot stove links as I normally do today, but here are a few:

Braves: Mike Hampton is reportedly shopping for a one year deal, but wants a straight salary, not an incentive-based deal. I can't believe I'm saying this, but on a one year deal he might be worthy of consideration.
Mets: The team is likely just posturing, but has publicly stated Brian Fuentes' request for a 3 year, $30-$33 million deal seems "a bit high."
Phillies: Matt Stairs is most likely the only current major leaguer spending the offseason coaching high school hockey in Maine.

So, if you're reading the Mug this morning, it's probably safe to assume you skipped the long lines and insanity of Black Friday shopping. If you did, and you're still looking for gifts, might I suggest a shiny new Wisconsin Timber Rattler hat? I'd wear one.

Finally, I've made a point of keeping my work and this blog separate for most of my tenure here, but today it's for a good cause so I'll break the rule. I've been ring announcing pro wrestling shows for 3XWrestling in Des Moines for the last 2 1/2 years, and tonight we have a show in Des Moines as a toy drive for Toys for Tots. If you're located somewhere near Des Moines and looking for something to do tonight, c'mon out with a new, unopened toy and help support a great cause. Even if you're not near Des Moines, Toys for Tots is a great cause to support, as is Child's Play, which is helping two hospitals in Wisconsin this year.

Drink up.

Some things to read while waiting for your gummy legos to solidify.

So the Brewers are still waiting for a response from CC Sabathia regarding their contract offer. Meanwhile, Home Run Derby thinks Sabathia signing in New York would be the worst possible outcome for everyone involved.

In the meantime, the Yankees, Red Sox and Orioles have all turned their attention to A.J. Burnett.

As I mentioned yesterday, the 2009 Marcels are out. My spreadsheet is sitting in exactly the same condition it was yesterday, but Balking Traditionalism has combined the 2009 Marcels with Sean Smith's 2009 defensive projections to create a starting point for 2009 Brewer projections.

That's about all that's out there for Brewer news today, so let's move right to the hot stove:

Blue Jays: The team still appears interested in bringing back A.J. Burnett, but beyond that they may not be players in free agency.
Cubs: Signed Ryan Dempster to a 4-year deal yesterday. This may preclude them from trading for Jake Peavy. They are, however, interested in acquiring Mark Teahen from the Royals.
Marlins: Placed C Mike Rabelo on waivers to remove him from their 40-man roster.
Orioles: Are still in the hunt for Mark Teixiera.
Tigers: Have reportedly been in touch with free agent RP Joe Beimel.

Another BBWAA Award, another day of stories about how the BBWAA blew it. Chuckie Hacks noticed a 5th place vote for Jason Bartlett. Beyond the Box Score has a step-by-step plan for discrediting the BBWAA Awards.

The saga is over: The Mariners have named a new manager, and it's Don Wakamatsu.

There are some records in baseball that may never be approached again. Ripken's consecutive games played streak. DiMaggio's hitting streak. Cy Young's wins. But does 70 home runs belong on that list? Beyond the Box Score takes a look at what it would take and gives an edge to, of all people, Rangers prospect Chris Davis.

Depending on how you like your off-topic conclusion, I've got three options for you today:

• The last two issues of "By the Numbers," the newsletter of SABR's Statistical Analysis Committee, are now available online.
• It's a Woot-off day.
• This guy can hit a baseball with nunchucks.

Drink up.

Some things to read instead of simulating a universe with rocks.

So if you missed the announcement yesterday, I decided to go ahead and create the Brew Crew Ball WhatifSports League. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, click this link for an explanation. There are only 12 teams in the league and two have already been created, so if you want one of the 10 remaining spots, click the first link soon.

As the trade market continues to swirl, you may find yourself wondering, "Has anyone ever created a database featuring every trade Doug Melvin has ever made as a major league general manager?" Yes, someone has.

There are more than a handful of free agent predictions out there today, so I'll just dump them into bullet points and you can decide for yourself what's worth noting:

• Fire Brand of the American League predicts the Brewers will pick up Jeremy Affeldt and Brad Penny, and has the Brewers as the runner-up to land Juan Cruz and Jon Garland.
• The Pinstriper has the Brewers signing Brad Penny, Juan Cruz, Jeremy Affeldt, Russell Branyan and Brad Wilkerson.
• Baseball Blogging Network says the Brewers would be a good fit for Trevor Hoffman. So does FakeTeams.
• A monkey drawing names and teams out of a plastic cup thinks CC Sabathia will be a Marlin.

Let's move right into a Sabathia Smorgasbord:

• Dave Cameron of FanGraphs estimates Sabathia's value at 6 years, $162 million.
• Blue Jays beat writer Jordan Bastian says the Yankees' big offer to Sabathia could impact the Jays' negotiations with A.J. Burnett.
• Chone Smith has a projection for the 2009 Yankees that includes Sabathia, Burnett AND Derek Lowe.
• The Mets reportedly are not pursuing Sabathia after all.
• Sabathia received one vote in ESPN's NL MVP balloting.
• Oh, it's THOSE Girls has made a list of pros and cons for Sabathia to consider before signing or not signing in New York.

Staying on the mound, there are a few notes out there regarding Ben Sheets. Crawfish Boxes has combined predictions for the Astros for 2009 and the monetary value of a win to make the case that, in Houston, signing Ben Sheets could pay for itself. USS Mariner thinks the Mariners should also be keeping a close eye on him. Finally, Recondite Baseball noted that Sheets was one of only twelve pitchers since 1990 to post a season with a WHIP under 1 and pitch enough innings to qualify for the ERA title. (Sheets did it in 2004)

Will the Brewers trade one high priced, high injury risk pitcher for another? Adam McCalvy says the Brewers are not a likely candidate to sign Kerry Wood. Neither are the Tigers.

On defense: Baseball Musings Probabilistic Model of Range has the Brewers 23rd in baseball in first base defense, and Prince Fielder well below average at 95.26. On the flip side, Brewer catchers ranked first, and Jason Kendall was the best full-time defensive catcher in all of baseball at 109.97. It's worth noting that a measure of range isn't really the complete picture on catcher defense.

Two prospect notes today: The Official Site has another look at Lorenzo Cain's impressive season in the AFL, and Hot-prospects.net thinks the Brewers will have Brent Brewer play in Brevard County for the third straight season in 2009.

Elsewhere, around the hot stove:

A's: Might be looking to trade Bobby Crosby.
Braves: Are reportedly out of the running for Jake Peavy but may have interest in A.J. Burnett.
Cardinals: Are reportedly making left-handed relief and shortstop a priority.
Cubs: May consider offering a deal to Randy Johnson.

As Francisco Rodriguez, Brian Fuentes, Kerry Wood, Trevor Hoffman and others continue to sit on the free agent market, Big League Stew asks when everyone started hating closers. The answer is pretty resounding: "When they started asking for 5/$75 deals."

Does the ball fly differently at Miller Park based on the month? Beyond the Box Score did the math and the answer, perhaps surprisingly, is yes.

FanGraphs has resurrected their "Get to know a stat" series. The first two up this time are First pitch strike percentage and outside swing percentage.

Looking for something to do in between Mugs? Apparently MLB.com is hiring. I think I may polish my resume a bit today.

Oh, and as someone witnessing way too much wedding planning, seeing virtually every picture taken at Chad Cordero's wedding was a bit more than I needed this morning.

Drink up.

So the morning after election day used to be a huge hangover day for me. This year, I didn't drink and I'm still sick. That's just not fair.

Let's start with awards today. We all know Jason Kendall had a pretty good season defensively, but would you have guessed he was the second best catcher in all of baseball? The Fielding Bible Awards ranked Kendall second at catcher.

They also ranked J.J. Hardy second at shortstop, which fits in nicely with Beyond the Box Score ranking him as the fourth best shortstop overall.

Some other rankings, while I'm on the subject:

• Walk Like a Sabermetrician ranks Brewer leadoff hitters (mainly Rickie Weeks) 20th in all of baseball in 2008.
• Baseball Musings' Probabilistic Model of Range ranked the Brewers as the 8th best team in baseball defensively.
• Want further proof that all free agents cost more than you think they should? Beyond the Box Score rates Ray Durham as the 20th most valuable free agent this offseason...and says he's worth $10 million.

Marc Hulet of FanGraphs has a review of the Brewer minor leagues in 2009. Players featured include Manny Parra, Jonathan Lucroy, Brent Brewer, Jake Odorizzi and Efrain Nieves.

Here's a quick walk around Rumorville: Bleeding Blue and Teal lists the Brewers as one of the four teams most likely to acquire Mariners closer J.J. Putz. There's also whispers out there about a trade involving Braves 2B Kelly Johnson and Ryan Ludwick, which Al thinks could evolve into conversations about Corey Hart.

Speaking of rumors, Jon Heyman of SI.com has one you almost certainly haven't heard every day for two weeks: the Yankees are interested in CC Sabathia.

He's not getting as much of an opportunity to play in the AFL as I'd like, but The Official Site has a nice profile on Lorenzo Cain and his efforts to be more patient at the plate.

If you're excited about the new MLB Network in January, here's reason to be even more excited: the lead studio host for MLB Network will be former Brewer TV guy Matt Vasgersian. Also, while I haven't seen this confirmed anywhere, Al says Trenni will be there too.

No Brewers filed for free agency Tuesday, but here are some players that did generate hot stove news:

Blue Jay A.J. Burnett officially opted out of his contract Tuesday, leaving him free to seek more than 2 years, $24 million on the open market.
Cardinal Mark Mulder filed for free agency.
Dodgers declined their option on C Gary Bennett and also may be willing to make Russell Martin available.
Marlin Luis Gonzalez filed for free agency.
National Dmitri Young was outrighted to AAA. He accepted the move and is due $5 million in salary in 2009 anyway. He could be eligible for the Rule 5 Draft.
Padre Jake Peavy is reportedly down to three potential teams for next season: the Braves, Cubs and Dodgers.
Yankees Jason Giambi and Carl Pavano both had their option declined for 2009.

Oh, and after three straight nights of waking me up in the middle of the night, I'm about ready to offer Gorman up as a tester for AirDog Hover Vests.

Drink up.

Did the Brewers have a game yesterday? Hmm, must not have noticed.

The biggest news this morning, courtesy of Ken Rosenthal, is that Matt LaPorta is officially on the trading block, and that Alcides Escobar might be packaged with him to acquire C.C. Sabathia. That price sounds a little steep to me, but Tom Haudricourt reports that the Indians have also been scouting Taylor Green. LaPorta and Green sounds about right, which would free the Brewers to trade Escobar or J.J. Hardy (who is confirmed to be available, along with Rickie Weeks) for A.J. Burnett, because the Blue Jays need a shortstop. Haudricourt doubts the Brewers are really offering LaPorta and/or Escobar, but given recent history, I think I'd believe Robothal first.

The Yost Infection takes umbrage with BA & Rock's fellating of Hardy's defense, citing his terrible zone rating, but fails to note the fact that Hardy leads all of baseball in out-of-zone plays; in other words, the Brewers' defensive shifting is messing up his zone rating. He's still not as good as Escobar, though.

LaPorta, Escobar, and Mat Gamel all made what I guess is best called Baseball America's Midseason Prospect All-Star Team, which roughly means they're near the top of their positions in all of prospectdom, but the corrosponding chat casts doubt on whether Gamel and Angel Salome can stick at their current defensive positions.

At FanGraphs, Marc Hulet (who I'm beginning to suspect is a big Brewers fan) points out that there are other interesting prospects in the system beyond the big names, namely Michael Brantley and Cole Gillespie. The point is especially well-taken about Gillespie, who's hitting like a mini-LaPorta, putting up a .273/.374/.498 line. Hulet also put Brad Nelson on his AAA non-prospect All-Star team; I think Nelson would make an excellent throw-in in whatever trade the Brewers end up executing, as he's never going to get a shot in Milwaukee.

Speaking of trades, Scott Linebrink Cutter Dykstra hit his first professional home run for Helena.

Dykstra's fellow draftee, 41st-round Cal State Fullerton SS Joe Scott, is playing summer ball in Alaska and "there's a chance he might sign a professional contract if he plays well this summer." He previously spurned the Brewers last year when they drafted him in the 39th round.

Tired of reading about prospects? Michael Garciaparra probably is too, though he doesn't regret choosing minor league baseball over a two-sport college career at the University of Tennessee.

Back in the big leagues, Tim Lincecum dropped the hammer on the Cubs while Mike Pelfrey dominated the Cardinals, keeping the Brewers from losing any ground after the game I don't remember. David Pinto notes that Lincecum exhibited unusually good control.

Speaking of which, having nightmares about the bullpen after yesterday? This should help.

At Recondite Baseball, TheJay takes a look at players who achieved the Alex Sanchez Special, having a lower on-base percentage than batting average. He ran down the Brewers' leaders in an earlier post.

Before today, all I know about Max Scherzer was that he threw really hard and had heterochromia. Now, thanks to Eric Seidman's interview, I know that Scherzer's a pretty sharp guy with an interest in cutting edge baseball research. I'm amazed that he's able to get anyone out pitching from his mother's basement.

That'll do it. What's that? You wanted another song? If you don't got Mojo Nixon then your store could use some fixin'!

Last night was the best against the best...now it's the worst against the worst.  "Worst" comes in different flavors though.  A.J. Burnett has been ok this year, striking out a batter an inning to go with his 4.90 ERA.  Dave Bush has been considerably less ok.

The Brewers will go for the sweep this afternoon with a healthy David Riske on board.  Game time is 1:05 CT, and here's the BR Game Preview.

Go Brewers!

If you've been cruising the baseball intertubes for a while, you've heard of John Brattain.  He writes twice a week for The Hardball Times, makes frequent appearances at Baseball Think Factory, and now writes for Baseball Digest Daily. 

While he covers all of MLB, his first love (well, second, just below beating Bud Selig with a rubber hose) is the Toronto Blue Jays.  With the Jays arriving for a three-game set at Miller Park, John was kind enough to take some time away from beating Bud Selig with a rubber hose to answer my questions.

Q: Let's counter expectations and start with something positive.  BJ Ryan is back, and the bullpen is a bright spot for the Jays.  The core of the pen has been very effective despite quite a few walks.  Are there any big surprises in this group?  Do you expect these guys to keep it up for another 95 games?

A: Yes (I think they will keep it up), I predicted the Jays would have a good bullpen this year--they’re about league average in walks surrendered which is actually an improvement on the fairly recent past where they were around 5 BB/9 (they’re 3.93 BB/9 at the moment). Despite the walks, they have a better than league average WHIP and are very stingy with the long ball (.76 HR/9 IP--AL avg: .87). Part of their success is that they are not overworked (12th in IP). However, they’re 4-14 because they’re often forced to protect very, very slim leads and when they give one up, the offense rarely gets it back since (1) the offense sucks--there’s no kinder word for it and (2) the starters go so deep into games there aren’t enough innings remaining to mount a comeback (not that it would help with the Jays’ lineup).

The biggest surprise has been how quickly B.J. Ryan returned from Tommy John surgery (although he’s clearly not all the way back) and Jesse Carlson was a minor league journeyman who really hadn’t done anything notable above A ball. Jeremy Accardo’s collapse was a nasty surprise and Jason Frasor is downright infuriating--an electric arm who tends to wet the bed in big situations. He has closer stuff but when he’s been placed in that role become the other team’s secret weapon. He should be a star reliever except he he celebrates the Brewers next division title when the pressure is on. If the game is close and Gibbons brings in Frasor, I suggest Brewer fans pop the bubbly and get the celebration underway.

Q: The Jays are in last place, though with the best record of any last-place team in baseball, just a smidge below .500.  They are also performing well below their Pythagorean record, which is 38-33.  Is it possible for the team to sneak back into contention?  If it is, what needs to happen?

A: J.P. Ricciardi needs to be fired.

Or…

J.P. Ricciardi needs to have an epiphany--he needs to get a big bat. With the bases loaded, the Jays are hitting .215/.256/.446, men on second and third, .224/.302/.265, man on third, two out .157/.257/.224, RISP/2 out: .197/.311/.285.

This lineup cannot even make productive outs--so many times they’ve had man on third, less than two out, bases loaded, none out/one out, second and third none/one out and couldn’t get a fly ball or ground ball to score the man from third. They’re 0-4 at home in extra innings and in those four extra-inning losses at home, 11 times they had man at third, fewer than two out and were left stranded. They’re 4-for-25 in hitting with RISP and less than two out in extra innings with zero extra base hits and three GIDP. They have had many opportunities to win games without needing a hit--just a deep fly ball or slow rolling ground ball would score the winning run--and failed.

There is nobody that can be counted on in key situations. One of the best overall situational hitters this year is David Eckstein--that says it all. If Ricciardi refuses to upgrade the offense then he should be fired--period. The Jays production from left field and DH are among the worst in the AL. From these two positions combined, league average production is .258/.346/.431--that’s just league average. The Blue Jays are getting .224/.319/.351 from those spots. Having league average offense from left field and DH would represent a huge upgrade for the offense but Ricciardi is unwilling or unable to find league average hitters for those holes.

Chances are good Adam Lind (hitting .331/.389/.534 in Syracuse) could produce at average-ish levels in left field (he certainly can bat better than .234/.319/.316--what Jays LF are hitting in 2008) leaving only the DH spot to fill--a platoon partner for Matt Stairs would suffice.

This team would contend with a competent GM--Ricciardi’s inability to fill these key offense spots with league average performers indicate that he clearly is incompetent.

Q: Like the bullpen, AJ Burnett is striking out a lot of guys and walking a lot of guys.  He's not embarrassing himself on the mound, but he also might be the Jays' fifth best starter right now.  In light of his recent comments about the Cubs, do you think he'll be a Blue Jay in August?  (Please note: Cash prizes are available for answers that include both "he sucks" and "he'll be a Cub very soon.")

A: Heh … I’m more than happy keeping him and taking the draft picks. If the Jays can get a decent bat I’m all for letting him go simply because A.J. could throw nothing but goose-eggs up on the scoreboard for the rest of the season and the Jays would still be floundering with the current lineup.

A.J. is frustrated and I don’t blame him one bit. The entire pitching staff should storm into Ricciardi’s office with a noose in hand and a demand--upgrade the offense now or become the poster child for Blue Jays choke jobs in 2008. I think he’ll be a Blue Jay all year because Ricciardi is not only in love with the status quo--he does the nasty with it on his desk during his lunch hour. If he does deal Burnett, he’ll probably get a middle infielder hitting .320/.400/.410 in low A ball that will be left unprotected in the 2010 Rule 5 draft.

Q: The Toronto offense is almost shockingly punchless, with no double-digit home run hitters.  Is there anything in particular to blame?  What should be (or should've been) done to make the offense respectable?

A: It sounds heretical in sabermetric circles but they need to be more aggressive at the plate. Now when I say aggressive, I don’t mean hack-tastic. I’m talking about going up there looking for a pitch to cream and turning on it when it appears. Sadly, the Jays current infatuation with uber-patience means they pass on first pitch meatballs so they can begin working the count from an 0-1 deficit in hopes of drawing a bases loaded walk to stay out of the double play.

Nobody in the lineup seems to realize that pitchers like to get ahead on the count--especially with men on and may be inclined to throw a first pitch fastball.

They’re letting pitchers dictate the at bat and forcing themselves to swing in pitcher’s counts at pitcher’s pitches with predictable results. OBP is nice but walks don’t get the runner home unless the sacks are juiced. They Jays have almost as many walks (6) as extra base hits (7) with the bases loaded and because they get themselves into bad counts with their approach--they also have 13 K and 7 GIDP with three aboard.

Mahatma Gandhi has been reincarnated as Gary Denbo and is the Blue Jays hitting coach. Passivity rules!

Q: Two and a half years on, what's your take on the Lyle Overbay trade?  So far, we've gotten a bunch of mediocre relief innings from Zach Jackson and an aggravating starter in Dave Bush.  Better than a kick in the ass Kevin Mench, right?

A: Overall I’ve been happy with it. The broken hand Overbay suffered last year really set him back and just now he seems to be the Overbay of old. Having said that, during the Jays recent 4-10 skid (where Toronto is hitting .181 with RISP with 22 hits and 14 GIDP with 109 men LOB) Overbay is hitting just .174/.291/.239--although I think (hope, pray, completely deludin’ myself here) that‘s just a bit of random variation since he was batting .291/.389/.491 over the previous five weeks with that Olerud-esque sweet swing of his. Regardless, I think the whole lineup needs a major enema.

On the bright side, the clubhouse is full of a bunch of swell guys that J.P. would be proud to introduce to his grandmother’s church knitting club and partnership for a celibate society--and that’s all that counts in the AL East … right? Not a sinner in the bunch--why they’re such gentlemen they go out of their way not to waste Ted Rogers’ money by hitting baseballs out of the field of play so they can be re-used again and again. They even make sure that they leave minimal marks on the balls so they remain nice and clean for grandma’s club to enjoy watching.

Such nice boys too--they even know it’s impolite to hit!

I need a good stiff drink.

Next round's on me.  Thanks John!