Some things to read instead of simulating a universe with rocks.

So if you missed the announcement yesterday, I decided to go ahead and create the Brew Crew Ball WhatifSports League. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, click this link for an explanation. There are only 12 teams in the league and two have already been created, so if you want one of the 10 remaining spots, click the first link soon.

As the trade market continues to swirl, you may find yourself wondering, "Has anyone ever created a database featuring every trade Doug Melvin has ever made as a major league general manager?" Yes, someone has.

There are more than a handful of free agent predictions out there today, so I'll just dump them into bullet points and you can decide for yourself what's worth noting:

• Fire Brand of the American League predicts the Brewers will pick up Jeremy Affeldt and Brad Penny, and has the Brewers as the runner-up to land Juan Cruz and Jon Garland.
• The Pinstriper has the Brewers signing Brad Penny, Juan Cruz, Jeremy Affeldt, Russell Branyan and Brad Wilkerson.
• Baseball Blogging Network says the Brewers would be a good fit for Trevor Hoffman. So does FakeTeams.
• A monkey drawing names and teams out of a plastic cup thinks CC Sabathia will be a Marlin.

Let's move right into a Sabathia Smorgasbord:

• Dave Cameron of FanGraphs estimates Sabathia's value at 6 years, $162 million.
• Blue Jays beat writer Jordan Bastian says the Yankees' big offer to Sabathia could impact the Jays' negotiations with A.J. Burnett.
• Chone Smith has a projection for the 2009 Yankees that includes Sabathia, Burnett AND Derek Lowe.
• The Mets reportedly are not pursuing Sabathia after all.
• Sabathia received one vote in ESPN's NL MVP balloting.
• Oh, it's THOSE Girls has made a list of pros and cons for Sabathia to consider before signing or not signing in New York.

Staying on the mound, there are a few notes out there regarding Ben Sheets. Crawfish Boxes has combined predictions for the Astros for 2009 and the monetary value of a win to make the case that, in Houston, signing Ben Sheets could pay for itself. USS Mariner thinks the Mariners should also be keeping a close eye on him. Finally, Recondite Baseball noted that Sheets was one of only twelve pitchers since 1990 to post a season with a WHIP under 1 and pitch enough innings to qualify for the ERA title. (Sheets did it in 2004)

Will the Brewers trade one high priced, high injury risk pitcher for another? Adam McCalvy says the Brewers are not a likely candidate to sign Kerry Wood. Neither are the Tigers.

On defense: Baseball Musings Probabilistic Model of Range has the Brewers 23rd in baseball in first base defense, and Prince Fielder well below average at 95.26. On the flip side, Brewer catchers ranked first, and Jason Kendall was the best full-time defensive catcher in all of baseball at 109.97. It's worth noting that a measure of range isn't really the complete picture on catcher defense.

Two prospect notes today: The Official Site has another look at Lorenzo Cain's impressive season in the AFL, and Hot-prospects.net thinks the Brewers will have Brent Brewer play in Brevard County for the third straight season in 2009.

Elsewhere, around the hot stove:

A's: Might be looking to trade Bobby Crosby.
Braves: Are reportedly out of the running for Jake Peavy but may have interest in A.J. Burnett.
Cardinals: Are reportedly making left-handed relief and shortstop a priority.
Cubs: May consider offering a deal to Randy Johnson.

As Francisco Rodriguez, Brian Fuentes, Kerry Wood, Trevor Hoffman and others continue to sit on the free agent market, Big League Stew asks when everyone started hating closers. The answer is pretty resounding: "When they started asking for 5/$75 deals."

Does the ball fly differently at Miller Park based on the month? Beyond the Box Score did the math and the answer, perhaps surprisingly, is yes.

FanGraphs has resurrected their "Get to know a stat" series. The first two up this time are First pitch strike percentage and outside swing percentage.

Looking for something to do in between Mugs? Apparently MLB.com is hiring. I think I may polish my resume a bit today.

Oh, and as someone witnessing way too much wedding planning, seeing virtually every picture taken at Chad Cordero's wedding was a bit more than I needed this morning.

Drink up.

So, barring a change of plans, Salomon Torres is gone and the Brewers are not planning to pursue a high-profile free agent reliever like Francisco Rodriguez or Brian Fuentes.

Salomon Torres, who saved 28 games for the Crew last season, retired yesterday. Brian Shouse, Eric Gagne and Guillermo Mota are free agents and might not be back.

Assuming Doug Melvin's comments linked above mean he also won't want to risk big money on Kerry Wood, Japanese import Koji Uehara or Trevor Hoffman, that might mean the Brewers are headed into 2009 with a bullpen that's tweaked around the edges, if it gets modified at all. Let's take a look at what that might mean for the Brewers in 2009:

CANDIDATES FOR CLOSER:

Seth McClung: I'm not sure if all Brewer fans love Seth McClung or if the infatuation is limited to this corner of the internet. But when Grant Balfour was 0-2 with a 20.25 ERA in his first three outings as a Brewer, if Doug Melvin had publicly said, "I'm going to flip him to Tampa for a guy that'll throw 105 slightly above average innings next season," we might have thrown the Mustache a parade. McClung has the stuff to make hitters look overmatched when he's on. If he's not needed in the rotation, he might be the best fit to close.

2008, as a reliever: 25 G, 41.2 IP, 3.67 ERA, 26 BB, 37 K
Career, as a reliever: 87 G, 109.1 IP, 5.19 ERA, 80 BB, 93 K

Carlos Villanueva: Got an opportunity to start in 2008, but did not perform well. When reverted to the bullpen he showed improvement the rest of the way. Villy has said in the past that he'd prefer to start, but he's much more valuable to the Crew in the bullpen, and one would suspect that getting high profile innings as the closer of a good team might be exciting for him too.

2008, as a reliever: 38 G, 59.1 IP, 2.12 ERA, 14 BB, 62 K
Career, as a reliever: 95 G, 155.2 IP, 3.58 ERA, 52 BB, 149 K

David Riske:  After getting a long-term deal after the 2007 season, Riske had an injury riddled and ineffective 2008 season that I'm sure most of you will remember. A lot can change in a year...a year ago at this time we were talking about David Riske as the setup man for Derrick Turnbow. 2008 aside, though, Riske had been very consistent throughout most of his eight year career before coming to Milwaukee, posting an ERA+ over 115 in six of his last seven seasons, over 190 in three of the same seven. If he comes into spring training healthy, he could be ready to bounce back in a big way.

2008, as a reliever: 45 G, 42.1 IP, 5.31 ERA, 25 BB, 27 K
Career, as a reliever: 438 G, 473.1 IP, 3.57 ERA, 204 BB, 425 K

OTHERS THAT WILL LIKELY CONTRIBUTE:

Mitch Stetter: As things stand right now, he's the only lefty I see with a guaranteed spot in the bullpen, and even that guarantee isn't 100%. I don't think one can hope for Stetter to be as effective as Shouse was, but if Shouse returns, having Stetter and Shouse in the bullpen could give Ken Macha lots of opportunity to play matchups late in games. Stetter's walk numbers from 2008 are inflated by three outings in May where he was left out to hang and walked 8 batters in an inning.

2008, as a reliever: 30 G, 25.1 IP, 3.20 ERA, 19 BB, 31 K
Career, as a reliever: 36 G, 30.1 IP, 3.26 ERA, 21 BB, 35 K

Tim Dillard: The Brewers didn't use Tim Dillard a lot in 2008 (just 14.1 innings), and they didn't use him often in wins (3-10 record in his appearances), but when they did use him he didn't embarrass himself. Dillard led off his big league career with five scoreless outings where he only allowed one hit and two walks in 5.2 innings, and he only had one outing all season where he gave up more than one earned run. Not once in my life have I said "Oh good, Tim Dillard's coming in." But with that said, he was only slightly below league average (ERA+ of 98) in his games this season, and if the Brewers released him he could be on about 15-20 teams' rosters on Opening Day.

2008 (and career) as a reliever: 13 G, 14.1 IP, 4.40 ERA, 6 BB, 5 K

Todd Coffey: Seemingly an afterthought when Doug Melvin picked him up, Coffey threw 7.1 scoreless innings over nine appearances as a Brewer in 2008, dropping his 2008 ERA from 6.05 as a Red to 4.39 overall, which is close to his career mark of 4.46. For some reason, I thought he was much older: Coffey turned 28 in September. He's had two above average and two below average seasons in his career, but even the below average seasons were disappointments, not implosions. He can contribute to a staff somewhere, if not in Milwaukee.

2008 as a reliever: 26 G, 26.2 IP, 4.39 ERA, 8 BB, 15 K
Career as a reliever: 222 G, 213.2 IP, 4.46 ERA, 65 BB, 144 K

Mark DiFelice: DiFelice made his big league debut at age 31 in May, and his debut didn't suggest he'd stay long: DiFelice gave up three runs on five hits in an inning in one of the losses during the Brewers' disastrous sweep in Boston that was supposed to cost Ned Yost his job. After that, all DiFelice did was post a 1.50 ERA in 18 innings over his next 14 appearances. Like Dillard, he didn't pitch in a lot of Brewer wins (the team was 4-11 in his appearances), but he pitched effectively when called upon. And while he made his debut at 31 and turned 32 in August, he's still likely got a few seasons in the tank, if not more.

2008 (and career) as a reliever: 15 G, 19 IP, 2.84 ERA, 4 BB, 20 K

OTHERS THAT COULD BE CALLED UPON:

It's worth noting that at this point, without re-signing Shouse, Gagne or Mota, without Torres unretiring and without any free agent additions to the bullpen, the Brewers have 7 relievers and, assuming a five-man rotation, 12 pitchers overall. But if they need more, these guys are waiting for a shot:

Joe Bateman: A 28-year-old righty, Bateman tripped somewhere on the ladder to the big leagues and spent 2 years in AA with the Giants before splitting this season between AA and AAA with the Brewers, despite the fact that he's posted an ERA under 3 each of the last two seasons and posted a 1.60 ERA in 33.2 innings in half a season in Nashville in 2008. He's struck out 200 and only walked 66 over 175.2 innings over the last three seasons. This winter, he's pitching for Este in the Dominican Winter League, and is 3-0 with a 3.21 ERA in 14 innings.

Chris Narveson: Last spring, he didn't miss making the Brewer roster by all that much, and made Doug Melvin comfortable enough to cut the cord on Claudio Vargas. Narveson will come into camp at 27 years old and, despite having a disappointing season in AAA (6-13, 5.43 ERA in 136 innings, primarily as a starter), he could get a shot to reinvent himself as a lefty who throws strikes out of the bullpen. Narveson has walked just 168 hitters over his last 406.2 innings over four seasons in AAA, and struck out 311 in that time. And did I mention he's left handed? Narveson is spending the winter pitching for Hermosillo in Mexico, where he recently picked up his second straight win, and is 2-2 with a 3.67 ERA in 34.1 innings (6 starts).

Luis Pena: In 2007, Pena climbed the ladder quickly, going 5-4 with a 2.63 ERA and 18 saves between Brevard County and Huntsville and earning himself a promotion to Nashville for 2008. He struggled with the Pacific Coast League, though, going 2-3 with a 6.93 ERA in 49.1 innings in 2008. Pena's meteoric rise in 2007 followed two seasons with an ERA over 4 in Brevard County, so it's possible his 2007 season was an aberration and not a trend. But it's also possible he could put it back together in 2008 and emerge as a contributor. He's spending the winter pitching for La Guaira in Venezuela, but has only appeared in three of the team's 23 games.

Sam Narron: Stop me if you've heard this one before: Narron is a 27-year-old lefty who has taken a little longer to develop than expected. He had a meteoric rise through the Rangers' organization, culminating in a 2004 season in which he went 6-0 in AA, 8-2 in AAA and made one start for the Rangers. After the season, the Brewers picked him up off waivers and Tommy John surgery cost him the entire 2005 season. Narron has worked his way back up the ladder and spent much of 2008 in AAA, where he struggled a bit to adjust and posted a 4.80 ERA in 120 innings. Like Joe Bateman, Narron is pitching for Este in the Dominican Winter League (Narron is starting, Bateman is relieving). So far he hasn't had much success in winter ball, going 0-3 with a 7.82 ERA in 12.2 innings, but again: he's still only 27, and he's lefthanded.

With those four, the Brewers will bring 11 potential bullpen arms to spring training, plus any free agents they may sign or re-sign. I don't think this bullpen is going to be as bad as some are saying it will be. What do you think?

Some things to read while flashing gang signs to your astronomy buddies.

At the very least, today is off to a better start than yesterday, since I titled today's post "Wednesday's Frosty Mug" and it actually is Wednesday.

So, as you've probably read and perhaps even commented on, Salomon Torres announced his retirement yesterday. I don't think anyone is counting it as an absolute certainty that he won't pitch in 2009, but this makes it seem pretty likely. The Brew Town Beat recounts the story of Torres' final Brewer hat. Where have you gone, Andy Van Slyke? remembers the early career of Torres, including a four-year retirement and return to the big leagues via Korea. Al has some quotes from Doug Melvin and a look at what's left in the bullpen.

CC Sabathia finished fifth in the NL Cy Young voting, behind Tim Lincecum, Brandon Webb, Johan Santana and Brad Lidge. He finished fourth in the voting at BirdLand. I guess he'll have to settle for being Jeff Passan's #1 rated free agent. (h/t Bless You Boys)

Here are the other Brewers on the list, of 183 free agents:

8. Ben Sheets
40. Brian Shouse
48. Ray Durham
90. Gabe Kapler
91. Russell Branyan
105. Guillermo Mota
107. Mike Lamb
109. Craig Counsell
113. Eric Gagne

MLB FanHouse has their offseason preview for the Brewers, and says their #1 focus should be retaining Sabathia. I've decided my #1 focus for winter will be getting the sun to stay above the horizon longer. I'll let you know how that goes.

Ken Rosenthal has interesting logic. He notes that Doug Melvin doesn't seem to want to make trades unless they net pitching. Then, he suggests the Brewers should trade Mike Cameron and Prince Fielder to the Yankees for Melky Cabrera, Robinson Cano and "young pitching." Unless that young pitching is big enough to be the centerpiece of the deal, the answer is still no.

As he navigates through the offseason, it's important to remember Doug Melvin must be doing something right, as he's the Negro League Museum's 2008 NL Executive of the Year. This is much bigger than yesterday's "Good Guy Award."

Also worth noting: apparently Melvin has a good relationship with the Red Sox, or at least Tony Massarotti said so in his blog listing the Brewers as a possible trading partner with the Red Sox.

Baseball Musings' Probabilistic Model of Range has the Brewers eighth in left field defense in 2008, and Ryan Braun above average at 101.50. Does this officially make him a better defensive outfielder than Corey Hart, who rated slightly below average in right? I'm interested in hearing the debate.

Brewerfan.net has their season ending Power 50 up. Not a lot of big moves or surprising names in there. (h/t Bernie's Crew)

Here's what's simmering on the hot stove:

Blue Jays: C Gregg Zaun, who was upset over the way his request to be traded was handled, will not be back in 2009.
Cubs: Have reportedly offered Ryan Dempster a 4 year/$50 million deal.
Tigers: Kenny Rogers filed for free agency Tuesday. He could retire, but this will at least let him size up the market before making a decision.
Reds: Have reportedly contacted the Rockies to express interest in Willy Taveras, Garrett Atkins and Yorvit Torrealba.

Also, this isn't really hot stove news, but the Marlins may be in trouble with the Players Association regarding failure to pay per diem to players sent away from the team for rehab assignments.

What is a replacement level player? Sean Smith of The Hardball Times breaks it down for you.

Could a replacement level player add some value by bringing postseason experience to the table? Tangotiger suggests they might.

Oh, and if you've ever wondered what it's like to be in the front office of a team that's cutting ties with the face of its franchise and a first-ballot Hall of Famer, Paul DePodesta can offer some insight.

Drink up.

Some things to read while pondering the silver lining of the economic situation.

So the NL Cy Young Award will be announced today. Landon Evanson of Bugs & Cranks and Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch both list the argument for CC Sabathia among their points to consider. Goold's post includes a poll, if you're into such things. Baseball Musings has Sabathia third on their imaginary ballot.

Speaking of Sabathia, the JS asked a sports economist at Vanderbilt to estimate how much money Sabathia will get this offseason. The guess: 5 years, $20-25 million. I fully expect the Yankees to have blown that figure out of the water by Friday afternoon, and the Angels and Dodgers could do it as well. Meanwhile, CC is packing up his stuff and waiting to see where he's headed next.

Yesterday, Geovany Soto and Evan Longoria won the NL and AL Rookie of the Year Awards, respectively. As they do annually, the BBWAA did something to lead us to believe they're incapable of handling this task. This year, three writers put Reds SP Edinson Volquez on their ballot despite the fact that he's not a rookie.

The Junkball Blues has six questions about young players on the Brewers and their ability to stop regression in 2009.

Two of those young players, J.J. Hardy and Ryan Braun, made Beyond the Box Score's list of the top 50 players in 2008. Hardy is also the subject of very vague trade mumblings involving the Twins.

Another one of those young players is Corey Hart, who rated slightly below average as a defensive right fielder. The Brewers ranked 18th as a team in right field defense.

Baseball Digest Daily says the Brewers have had the fourth best offseason so far. Apparently acquiring Casey McGehee carries a lot of weight. Hiring Bruce Seid as the new amateur scouting director wasn't mentioned.

So two weeks ago, Rick Peterson was mentioned as a possible candidate for the Brewers' pitching coach vacancy, but later dismissed as an option and the team hired Bill Castro from within. Buried, literally in the last paragraph of this Ken Rosenthal column, is a note that sheds some light on the situation:

It's been a few days, I guess, since we've talked about Gabe Kapler. For those of you who felt Kapler could have been a cheap option to replace Mike Cameron, here's something worth noting: Beyond the Box Score estimates his value for 2009 at $6.69 million. I doubt he'll get that, but $4-5 million wouldn't surprise me at all.

Two other awards to announce today: Chris Cody, who split the season between West Virginia and Brevard County and now is pitching in Hawai'i, has been named the Brewers Organizational Pitcher of the Year. Also, Doug Melvin will receive the Nice Guy Award at the annual Red Smith banquet in January in Appleton.

Speaking of Appleton, Chris Mehring of Rattler Radio is already getting excited about the projected Timber Rattlers roster for 2009.

In hot stove news, two trades went through yesterday. First, the A's acquired Matt Holliday from the Rockies for a package including Huston Street, SP Greg Smith and OF Carlos Gonzalez. The A's are now allowed to ring-rang a dong for Matt Holliday. Meanwhile, the Rockies may be looking to flip Huston Street.

Also, the Marlins traded Scott Olsen and Josh Willingham to the Nationals for infielder Emilio Bonifacio and two young prospects.

Elsewhere on the stove:

Angels: Have reportedly decided not to pursue free agent Francisco Rodriguez.
D-Backs: Are reportedly expressing interest in former Astro (and Brewer) Mark Loretta.
Padres: Reportedly withdrew their offer to Trevor Hoffman.

In other news, the Mariners have scheduled initial interviews with seven candidates for their vacant managerial position. Neither Ned Yost nor Willie Randolph are on the list. That could mean they're not candidates, but Chuckie Hacks wonders if Yost is getting a first round bye since he's worked with Zduriencik before. The same thing is possible for Willie Randolph, who interviewed with the Brewers while Zduriencik was still there.

Oh, and Friday is Make Someone Feel Uncomfortable Day. If you really want to do a good job, you should probably start preparing now.

Drink up.

Here are some things to read while waiting for Monday's Mug.

So you may have heard that Ken Macha is the new manager of the Milwaukee Brewers. Reaction from around the web:

• In-Between Hops has some stats showing Macha's tendencies. The Cliff's Notes version: don't expect a lot of base stealing, pinch hitting or sac bunts. I'm ok with most of that. My question, though, is whether those stats are a function of Macha's management style or the environment in which he worked in Oakland.
• Two-Fisted Slopper also uses the numbers to develop an expectation of what's to come.
• The JS Blog has audio from the press conference.
• If you like knowing what was said at press conferences but don't actually like to listen to things, Al also chronicled it for you.
• Ken Rosenthal notes some problems Macha had with his veteran players in Oakland. The Brewers downplay it in this link.
• View From Bernie's Chalet likes the contrast between Macha and Ned Yost.
• The Brew Town Beat likes the move as well, but raises some questions about Macha's relationships and his aversion to small ball.

So now, the next question: what about Mike Maddux? Baseball Musings is reporting that Mike Maddux and Rick Peterson are both considering the jobs in Milwaukee and Texas, and the only question is who ends up where.

We're probably going to hear a bunch of stories like this for a while: "So, now that the Mariners have a GM that used to work for the Brewers, does that mean they'll trade for (Brewer)?" Today's name in the blank is J.J. Hardy. I'm not sure the Mariners could offer anything in return that would be interesting enough for me to be happy about the trade.

Of course, there is still a hole at third base. Beyond the Box Score says Russell Branyan was the 20th best third baseman in 2008, generating 11 runs with his bat and saving 2 in the field. Bill Hall doesn't crack the top 25.

Eric Seidman of FanGraphs has been compiling a list of his favorite highlights from this season. His #1 highlight is CC Sabathia. I think an awful lot of us agree.

Sabathia was not one of the five Brewers who filed for free agency yesterday, on the first day of fifteen when it's allowed. I've always felt like filing that early creates the feeling that you can't wait to run out the door. If you haven't read it yet, the five Brewers who did file yesterday were Eric Gagne, Gabe Kapler, Mike Lamb, Ben Sheets and Brian Shouse. Here are some other players that filed for free agency yesterday:

Angels: Mark Teixiera, Garret Anderson, Jon Garland
Braves: Will Ohman, Greg Norton, Julian Tavarez
Cardinals: Braden Looper, Cesar Izturis, Felipe Lopez, Jason LaRue, Ron Villone, Russ Springer
Dodgers: Manny Ramirez, Joe Beimel, Casey Blake, Derek Lowe, Greg Maddux
Marlins: Paul Lo Duca
Mets: Oliver Perez, Damion Easley, Matt Wise
Nationals: Chad Cordero, Ryan Wagner, Pete Orr
Padres: Trevor Hoffman
Reds: Jeremy Affeldt, Mike Lincoln
Twins: Eddie Guardado, Nick Punto, Dennys Reyes

UPDATE: Cubs Ryan Dempster, Jim Edmonds, Chad Fox and Bob Howry filed too.

Also, the White Sox declined Ken Griffey's option and the Tigers declined theirs on Edgar Renteria, so they're free agents too.

One trade has already been made: the Royals acquired 1B Mike Jacobs from the Marlins for RP Leo Nunez. Jacobs has above average power but a sub-.300 OBP.

Finally, how many players that can't handle the glove are in the Brewers' farm system? TheJay noted today that Brendan Katin posted a .926 fielding percentage in AAA this season, in the outfield. How is that possible?

Drink up.

Well, the Cubs lost yesterday too, so we're still two games back entering a 3 game series with the Fish tonight. Come and get your Mug.

Win Expectancy Graph
BR Box Score
BDD Recaps
BP Postseason Odds: 85.1 wins and a 22.6% shot at winning the Central.

If you haven't yet, go vote in this week's Fan Opinion Poll. And even if you have voted, go check out the results, which show a pretty interesting one week shift in Ned Yost's approval rating.

I'd never heard Scott Olsen called "Mr. Furious" before, but he's starting for the Marlins tonight, and Bugs and Cranks called him that, so I'll go with it.

The Junkball Blues thinks Rickie Weeks is on an upturn. That'd be nice.

The Official Site reports that Chris Capuano has begun a throwing program in his effort to avoid his second Tommy John surgery. Best wishes to him, but after a full ineffective year WITH the appropriate ligaments and whatnot, I can't imagine him coming back to be effective without them.

It must be a slow news day: Bugs and Cranks is pulling out old baseball cards featuring Troy O'Leary and Matt Mieske.

Today's Brief Alphabetical Morning (BAM) Injury Reports are sponsored by the letter C and the number 2:

Rangers C Adam Melhuse has a bruised hand and could head to the DL.
Mets C Brian Schneider has an infected left thumb and will be placed on the DL.

Related to the Melhuse injury: I took a friend to the Iowa Cubs/Oklahoma Redhawks AAA game in Des Moines last weekend. She didn't really know much about baseball, but was a big fan of Jarrod Saltalamacchia, based purely on his very large name. Sometimes you take what you can get.

Maybe they've been watching the Brewers: The A's tried out a lineup with nine right handed hitters last night against the Twins. It seemed to work. It certainly worked better than anything Ryan Howard has tried in April.

The market for closers grows as we speak: Gaslamp Ball is ready to pull the plug on Trevor Hoffman.

Former Brewer notes: The Mets have DFA's Brady Clark, and the Nats have sent Ray King back to AAA.

If either of them (or you) are looking for work, The Twins are hiring an administrative assistant. Job duties include receiving AND opening mail. I frequently struggle with the second one.

That's all for today. If you've got something to throw into tomorrow's Mug, drop it in the comments.

Drink up.