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Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to baseball season. The first pitchers and catchers report to spring training in Florida today, with others reporting through the weekend at camps across Florida and Arizona.

Spring training is a time for hope and celebration. It's the return of the sport we love after a too-long offseason of short days, cold and despair. But let's be honest: It's also a time for cliches, hype and spring training "previews" that seem to be copied and pasted from the same template year after year.

This year, though, you don't have to sit back and wait for a bland, uninspired spring training preview for your favorite team. With an assist from Mad Libs, you can create your own.

Simply fill in the blanks on the list below, then follow the jump and plug them in to see your very own spring training preview!

1. Favorite team
2. Your name
3. Oft-injured player
4. Noun
5. Verb (present tense)
6. Noun
7. Really long movie
8. Occupation
9. Body part
10. Different body part
11. Aging player
12. Body part
13. Number
14. Animal
15. Place
16. Something old people do
17. Old person
18. Noun
19. Inconsistent player
20. Year between 2005-2008
21. Coach
22. Part of a player's game
23. Occupation
24. Place that occupation works
25. New acquisition
26. Place
27. Platitude
28. Verb (present tense)
29. Noun
30. Player approaching end of contract
31. Synonym for money
32. Expensive thing
    

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Behind door #4 we find Ryan Braun!

The 26-year-old left fielder has had his hands full in the off-season for sure. Clearly, everyone is familiar with his clothing line, Remetee. More shirt designs have come out, along with jeans and hoodies (no word yet on what he thinks about our Rally Lobster shirts). Braun partnered with Sam Bat last summer to create RB8, his own line of maple bats (don't forget to visit the bottom of the page for ringtones!). Braun is also opening a restaurant in Lake Geneva this spring, though there is no set opening date as of yet. That's enough to make someone's head spin.

It's no secret though that what makes this Silver Slugger so valuable is his ability to hit. Many of his stats have continued to climb since he won the NL Rookie of the Year award in 2007. In 2009, with 635 ABs, Braun got 203 hits, 39 doubles, 6 triples, and 32 home runs. In his first two seasons, Braun hit more homers than the last (34 and 37 respectively), but has made up for the fall by hitting in 114 runs and earning the number seven spot on the RBI leader board for 2009 (Prince Fielder led in RBIs this past season). We also watched Braun get hit by 13 pitches. Hopefully that's one stat that will fall.

So what can we expect from the Hebrew Hammer in 2010? He's learned that he's not the deputy GM and seems to be choosing his words a little more carefully. Hopefully the only shakeups he causes this year have to do with his ability to play the game.

 And behind door number five who do we find… why it's Prince Fielder!

We've all heard numerous times about the relationship between Prince and Cecil Fielder. But did you know that Cecil not only stole his son's money, he also thinks much more highly of his own baseball skills than his son's? Its true, just take a look at this video. According to Cecil, the only thing Prince does better than him is run.

But hold on now. Let’s take a look at their career numbers through 675 games.

While their home run and RBI totals are fairly similar, it is quite clear that Prince is a better overall hitter than Cecil. Prince is also outplaying his father at a much younger age.

Now lets take a look at another Brewers legend: Robin Yount. Let's compare their numbers through 675 games

And while Yount was much younger that Fielder through 675 games, many of their numbers are similar, with Fielder being the obvious winner in the power department. The big man is already tied for 8th on the Brewers all time home run list. If he is retained through the 2011 season, there's a good chance he could surpass Yount (251 HR) and take over the number one spot. A record that took Yount 20 seasons to set could take Prince a mere 6 full seasons. While I understand that Prince and Yount are completely different players, and I am in no way trying to say that Prince is a better overall player than Yount, we are watching one of the greatest players to ear Brewer blue.

So enjoy watching him while you still can Brewers fans, because your time to do so is probably running out.

Hey, I hear really loud hard rock coming out of this door! There's probably a closer behind it!

Since the only time I've seen Trevor Hoffman save a game in person involved him relieving an injured and awful Bryan Corey and a just plain awful Cla Meredith in Colorado when he was with San Diego, I've never been privy to the entire fan experience at home when Hoffman enters to save games. Seeing him pitch on the road in a quieter environment, however, made me appreciate his unique pitching talents.

Most of us realize that Hoffman's 2009 season was one of the best of his career. Hopefully he'll be able to recreate or come close to that performance in 2010. We may not have that much longer to appreciate him, however, because he'll be the 4th-oldest player in MLB this season if all signed players appear in a game.

Let's open door #7 and find new addition...Randy Wolf!

The Brewers signed Wolf to a three year, $29.75 million deal in early December.  The 33-year-old lefthander is entering his 12th major league season in 2010, having debuted with the Phillies back in 1999.  He spent the first eight years of his career pitching in Philadelphia.  He spent the last three seasons bouncing between the Dodgers, the Padres, and the Astros.  He is 101-85 in his career with a 4.13 ERA.  After missing significant portions of each season from 2004 through 2007, he set a career high in starts and innings pitched in 2009.

But Randy isn't the only Wolf in Major League Baseball.  There's Ross Wolf, the 2007 Marlin who has toiled away in AAA the past two years.  Former Brewers farmhand Brian Wolfe struggled in Toronto last year.  Astros prospect Shane Wolf hopes to join his similarly surnamed brethren in the majors soon.  But none of those three are related to the Brewers' new pitcher.

You may recognize Randy's brother, Jim, as an occasionally psychic umpire.  Jim also debuted in the majors in 1999, umpiring his first game on September 2, 1999, while his brother was in the visiting dugout.  Jim spent the next five years bouncing between AAA and the majors before joining the MLB staff full-time in 2004.  Randy and Jim are the second set of player-umpire brothers, behind Bill and Tom Haller in the 1970s.

Major League Baseball does not allow Jim to call balls and strikes when his brother pitches, but the duo has been on the field at the same time in five different games over the years:

• April 18, 2001
• April 30, 2004
• August 6, 2004
• June 1, 2008
• August 13, 2008

All five games saw Jim stationed at third base.  He did not umpire any Dodgers games last year and it remains to be seen how many Milwaukee games he gets assigned in 2010, 2011, and 2012.  One thing's for sure, though: it'll always be worth a glance at the umpires before every Randy Wolf start.

And popping out of door #8 is the most important player to the Milwaukee Brewers playoff hopes, Yovani Gallardo.

Yes, just as Rubie says Rickie Weeks is the most important position player next year, I truly believe that Yovani Gallardo is the key to the Brewers being playoff contenders.  We all know how dismal the Brewers pitching staff was last season, and though Gallardo was the best Starting Pitcher the Crew had last year, he still wasn't pitching like the Ace we all want him to be.  Some of the complaints about Yo were that he didn't pitch deep enough into games and he walked too many, both of which are probably valid and somewhat connected.  If he hadn't walked so many, he would have perhaps thrown less pitches and gone deeper into games.  Well, last year was the first time that YoGa has ever has ever had higher than a 3.8 BB/9 in his career (including Minors), which he put up in 2005 when he  was still in A ball.  Last year he had a 4.6 BB/9, so there is some hope that he will revert back to having better control. 

I think that we all agree that Yovani has the potential to be one of the better pitchers in the league, but so far he has not taken the next step.  If he can get his walks under control, it will go a long way towards helping the Brewers pitching staff gain respectability and hopefully propel the Crew into the thick of the playoff hunt.

Also, having been born in Michoacan, Mexico, Yovani is one of just five Mexican born pitchers to have reached the 200 strikeout plateau in one season after throwing 204 K's last year.  And he would have had more if he had not been shut down early last year.  The Mexican-born leaders in strikeouts in a year:

That strange surgical scar sticking out from behind door #9 belongs to...David Riske!

He's hoping to be ready for Opening Day, but it's probably more realistic to expect Riske to make his 2010 debut sometime in May or June, after some time in extended spring training and a rehab assignment. It's a big season for Riske: it's his last chance to provide some level of return on the 3 year, $13 million contract he signed before the 2008 season, and his last chance to prove he's healthy enough to merit a major league deal next winter.

If he does manage to come back, he'll be in relatively rare territory. Riske pitched exactly one inning as a Brewer last season, something only nine players have ever done. Four of the nine were position players. Only two of the other eight appeared in a game for the Brewers the following season.

Behind door #10 we find...Craig Counsell!

Counsell turned 39 in August and had a career year in 2009, posting a 105 OPS+, his highest since 1997, when he played in 51 games for the Marlins. His .285 batting average and .408 slugging percentage were also his highest since 2000.

His largest source of value, though, is his versatility. Over his 14 year major league career, Counsell has played 546 games at second base, 413 games at shortstop and 351 games at third. He's only the second player since 1901 to play in at least 350 games at each of those positions:

Herzog, for whatever it's worth, was also a bit of a journeyman. Over his 13 year major league career he played for four teams, including three stints with the New York Giants and two stints with the Boston Braves.