A guy's gotta make a living, right? So hats off to Michael Rushton of Sports Network for trying. He did spell everybody's name right, and classified, correctly i think, Brady Clark's career year as a pleasant surprise. The rest was made up of things like this:
Unproven? Tied with Pedro Martinez and Brett Myers for third place in strikeouts in the NL this year. finished 11th in the NL in strikeouts last year.