Baseball Think Factory member PhillyBooster (post #4) has made a list of headlines he's looking for this preseason, including:
8. "Veteran Free Agent Acquisitions Will Be Instrumental In Comforting Youngsters Tasting Prolonged Defeat For First Time"
9. "Reconfigured Ballpark Will Help Home Team, But Should Help Visitors More."
10. "Statisticians, Scouts Agree: Player Sucks."
More entertaining pre-season bits in this season preview from The American Enterprise:
APRIL 15: Exhausted and easily confused tax preparers attempt to develop an amortization schedule for Derek Jeter's intangibles.
Do yourself a favor: read the whole thing.