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Neifi Perez to the Tigers

That's right, somebody actually wanted Neifi Perez enough to give up a sorta-prospect for him. I would imagine the Cubs are paying part of the Neifster's salary, since he's set to make $2.5 million next year as part of one of the ugliest contracts this side of Geoff Jenkins's deal.

Sing it with me (to the tune of the Oscar Mayer theme song)...

Desperation has a first name,
it's N-E-I-F-I;
Self-castration has a second name,
it's P-E-R-E-Z;

Take it to the bridge!