Rumorville: Brian Fuentes

From Baseball Prospectus:

–The Brewers are expected to move to the head of the class in the Brian Fuentes sweepstakes now that free-agent closer Francisco Rodriguez has agreed to terms on a three-year, $37 million contract with the Mets. Fuentes, a free agent, would fill the closer’s role with the Brewers, but the Angels are also expected to pursue him now that they have lost Rodriguez.

Steve Phillips says it's either the Angels or Cardinals for Fuentes.

Fuentes 2008: 62.2 IP, 1.10 WHIP, 47 H, 82 K, 22 BB, 2.73 ERA, 3 HR

As long as the signing is to win beyond 2009, I'd be okay with it.  If it's an effort to load up 09 as part of some fantastical dream to catch the Cubs, I will poop in a brown bag, set it on Doug Melvin's doorstep, light it on fire, ring the doorbell,  run away, hide behind bushes, and watch him stomp the bag of poop that is on fire with the end result being him getting poop all over his feet, legs and doorstep.  I will then pop out from the bushes and yell, "That's for your poopy choices in life, son" and retreat away in an '82 Delorean.