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Today in Brewer History: Happy 10th Anniversary, Ruben Quevedo

KL emailed me two nights to ago to request that I take the reins for today's Today in Brewer History, and with good reason: he said that July 30 is a light day in terms of Brewer history, save for one significant transaction: on July 30, 2001, the Brewers traded David Weathers and another dude to the Cubs for Ruben Quevedo and some other guy.  (Notably, KL's email marked the first time in recorded history that the words "light" and "Ruben Quevedo" found themselves occupying the same sentence.)

Today, then, is the tenth anniversary of the addition of my favorite Brewer of all time, the man who perfectly sums up just how awful The Dark Times at and around the turn of the century really were.  They tell me that tin is the traditional material used for a tenth anniversary gift, which seems both totally arbitrary and relatively cheap, but whatever: I don't have any tin, but I have my ten favorite Ruben Quevedo statistics, presented in no particular order:

(10) Rubie is one of 54 pitchers since 1901 who has pitched over 150 innings and has a career ERA over 6.00.  Peruse the list.  It's heady company.

(9) But lest you think Ruben was just the victim of bad luck or a high BABIP or bad defense or something like that, think again: dude's FIP was over 6.00 in his career, too.

(8) Ruben, according to legend, was a change-up pitcher: his fastball struggled to break 88 mph on a good day, so he had to resort to guile and deception to earn his living. (Think of him as a morbidly-obese, right-handed Jamie Moyer, if it helps.) In 2002-03, Quevedo's change-up was worth a cumulative (-14.8) runs above average.

(7) To underscore how pedestrian Rubie's stuff was: in 2003, his swinging strike percentage was a laughable 6.7%.

(6) My guy has one complete game shut-out to his credit: this beautiful and bizarre and baffling game from May 2002, when he somehow blanked the Padres on three hits while striking out seven. (I've now spent five minutes looking at this box score. It's like I'm watching a giraffe paint a portrait. Inconceivable.)

(5) In 2002, Ruben made 25 starts and one relief appearance. He gave up 28 homers, good for a 1.81 HR/9 rate that just edges out Braden Looper's 1.80 HR/9 rate from 2009 for worst in team history by a pitcher who made at least 25 starts.

(4) Rubie has five total RsBI in his career, and notched a career high 3 runs batted in in 2002. And all three of those ribbies came in one game: a 12-6 romp over the Pirates on July 2, 2002 when Quevedo went 2-4 with two singles. Of course, this being Rubie: he also gave up a two-run homer to Jason Kendall in the game.

(3) The fella Ruben was traded for, David "Stormy" Weathers, went on to post 9.7 rWAR over the rest of his career. Whoops.

(2) In 2003, Rubie was permitted to pitch 41 innings before the Brewers finally realized that the light was never going to turn on and sent him packing. And yet: in those 41 innings, Quevedo still managed an fWAR of (-0.7).

(1) Ruben does not have a recorded time in the mile run, because the stopwatch is still running on his most recent attempt to move 5,280 feet.

Here's to you, friend. Happy anniversary.