Dear Santa

Forget about the curve ball, Santa -- give 'em the heater! - Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

Since we're rebuilding, we can shape The Future of the Brewers any way we want. This is what I would like Santa to put under David Stearns' tree over the upcoming seasons:

  • A Brewer who can steal a dadgum base. Not like Braun-level stolen base ability -- where if the pitcher is not paying attention, he's fast enough to swipe one. I'm talking Scotty Pods circa 2004-level stolen base ability. A guy who when he gets on base makes the pitcher think "oh, crap."
  • A higher team batting average. The list of Brewers who have hit .300 this century is pitifully small. Braun's the most prominent, and hasn't had a .300 season since 2012. (Not to downplay OBP, but I'm talking pure see-ball hit-ball ability here.) I'd gladly trade in some dingers for gap power and more baserunners.
  • An ace. Dabbling further in the old-school stats, only twice since 2000 have we had a starting pitcher with an ERA under 3, and I'm thinking Ben Sheets and Jeff D'Amico are not in our long-term plans. Of the names in the modern era, we've had a Kyle Lohse season of 3.35, but otherwise, our top Gallardo-Peralta-Lohse seasons were in the 3.50 range. #2 pitcher types.

After the last two seasons and what we're looking at going forward, I'm pretty sure we'll have earned it. Make it happen, Santa!