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Brewers Walk-Up Songs, Ranked

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The disturbing lack of Taylor Swift aside, Milwaukee has some pretty great jams this season

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A couple of days ago, Caitlin Moyer updated her listing of the Brewers' walk-up songs for 2016. There were some highlights and some lowlights, folks. Obviously, I'm disappointed that no one is bumping Taylor this season. However, there's sure to be plenty of player movement this season as the Brewers work through the first full season of their rebuilding project, so who knows? Maybe we'll get one later on this summer. And while we don't necessarily long for his performance on the mound, Kyle Lohse's A+ walk-up music game (last year's track was "Next Episode" by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg) will be sorely missed.

However, there weren't any egregious crimes on the roster, and for that we are grateful. Below is a ranking of the Brewers top ten best walk-up songs this season. Of course these are my own personal rankings, and music is a subjective experience, and each person enjoys it in their own way. That said, these rankings are of course good and correct, and disagreeing with them is irresponsible.

1) Taylor Jungmann - "Y.M.C.A." by The Village People

I'll give you a minute.

Ahh, there it is! I see that smile creeping across that pretty face of yours. You get it! A good baseball writer loves a good pun, and this is a certified ace. This song is Jungmann's at bat music - we'll get to his walk-in music for the mound in a bit - and while this would be a horrible choice for just about any other person, it's a home run for Jungmann. There's no need to feel down about it.

2) Colin Walsh - "PYT" by Michael Jackson

Oh hell yeah, Colin. This man is absolutely hellbent on winning my heart. Not only does he reach base at a near-.400 clip, but he's rocking one of the best songs from a record that is not only a certified banger, but one that is extremely important to me personally. Thriller will always hold a very special place in my heart.

3) Jonathan Villar - "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" by Jay-Z

This is a dope song from before Jay-Z sort of stopped being good. I don't have much to say about it. Good job, Jonathan. Please keep getting on base.

4) Corey Knebel - "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits

Walk up songs, in general, come from one of three categories: rap/hip-hop bangers, country songs, and old school rock jams. This choice from the disabled Knebel falls squarely in the latter category. To be honest, Corey missed a real opportunity by not going with a different song from Dire Straits, "Sultans of Swing" which is ripe for baseball puns and is just a better song in general.

5) Chris Carter - "Mr. Carter" by Lil Wayne

Lil Wayne is bad. Let's just get that out of the way. People have listened to Lil Wayne albums in the same way that I have been on dates: it's technically true, but only the worst people in the world ever banged it and most folks just sort of quietly wished it would stop. The choice for Chris here is obvious though, given his name, and Mr. Carter is one of the more palatable tracks Weezy F Baby has laid down.

6) Jonathan Lucroy - "Tear It Down" by We Came As Romans

Oh.

Oh no.

There are folks in this world who will tell you that there's no such thing as coincidence. Those people are correct. This selection from Lucroy is the most brutal, but subtle, own in the history of walk-up songs, and it's sitting here in the middle of these rankings because I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed.

7) Ryan Braun - "Summer Sixteen" by Drake

This is literally just a song Drake wrote as an advertisement for an album he's gonna release later this year, and it's still a banger. That's baller as hell. Some people think that Drake is actually bad, but those same people probably hate bat flips and think that the best beer in the world is Miller Lite. Get some culture and live a little. Drake owns.

8) Keon Broxton - "What A Year" by Big Sean

What a year indeed, Keon. The young outfielder went on a spring tear to vault past the field and claim the Opening Day start in center field. I have never heard this song, but I'm sure that Big Sean says,  "Oh god" in it, which I support. I would absolutely jam to a song that was just three and a half minutes of him saying, "Oh god" over and over.

9) Aaron Hill - "All Along The Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix

Folks, when I heard this song come on over the PA system on Opening Day, I had to lift my head out of the phone I was furiously tweeting away in (because I'm a lazy millennial that doesn't watch the game the right way) to do a double take. Did Craig grab a bat? They let a coach hit in the exhibition against Biloxi - were they trying to prepare us for this? Alas, it was just Milwaukee's newest infielder taking his walk-up music cue from the Brewers skipper. Disappointed as I was to see Craig still wearing his sweatshirt in the dugout, I still respect the solid choice. It would be higher on the list if I knew that he'd gotten approval from Counsell to use it beforehand.

10) Colin Walsh and Taylor Jungmann - "Can't Tell Me Nothing" by Kanye West

Colin and Taylor share this one, as it's the alternate walk-up song for the former and the pitching walk-in music for the latter (I promised we'd revisit it, folks). Ye remains nearly as good of an artist as he believes he is, which is still pretty great, even while his twitter account has dissolved into a horror show that is either a brilliant piece of performance art or a glimpse into the mind of a troubled man that legitimately needs help. This is a bit of a throwback banger (Graduation will be ten years old next year. WHAT!?) and is among Yeezy's finer works.