The Mets want Everyone, Including me!

Honk, honk! With the World Series upon us, some teams are looking to make some moves as quickly as possible, especially the New York Mets. You may have heard that the Mets have been trying to lure David Stearns away from the Brewers, but Mark Antanassio has wrapped him in a protective vest. Very clever. You don't get to be a Brazillionaire without knowing a trick or two.

The Mets' fanbase is very demanding. This isn't just because they are arrogant East Coast Jagoffs; It's because they know the Mets should have more money than most other teams and can afford to throw it at anyone who tickles their fancy. Well, guess what, they reached out to me to replace Mr. Met.

Ever since Mr. Met flipped off the fans in 2017 he's been on thin ice. I personally respected his artistic freedom, but the Mets weren't amused.

I tried to explain to them that I'm really more of a Cyber Goofpal than an in-person Goofpal, but they made me a pretty good offer. I'm not going to say how much they offered, but I can sum it up in two words, "Double wide".

I had to give this some serious thought so I sat down with a big glass of fanahol and made a pros and cons list. The pros were the mad stacks as well as a real shot at Ms. Met. The cons included not posting with all of you. Where else can I concurrently read that the Brewers' farm system is the best and worst, or get the nuanced takes of Big Dumb Yank or Schrapnellcotton? Without them I may never have known how bad a 95 win team is.

After a lot of soul-searching (and a call to my mentor Mr. Leam) I decided to take their offer. Unfortunately, I failed their physical so I guess I'll be here going forward. Looking forward to an active off-season.

Yours Honkly,

Cyber Goofpal