Cyber Goofpal explains the Brewers' Trade Deadline Moves

Honk, Honk!

For anyone reading the comments section on BCB, or really any Brewers media, you may have noticed a decided negative vibe in the last week. After last night's disaster of a game against the Pirates, I thought I'd start this post with a joke to lighten things up.

Knock, Knock,

Who's there?

David Stearns

David Stearns who?

David Stearns is a cotton-headed ninny-muggins who hates all the fans, and wants you to suffer through just better than mediocre baseball forever, winning more than they lose, but never being good enough to go all the way. He also strangely likes eating apples over the course of multiple years. Yuck, those go bad!

Now that you've had a bit of a chuckle, let me explain the Brewers' trading deadline moves in a way that anyone can understand. I know this because I recently had this discussion with my good friend The Hamburgler. He's not that bright and his entire vocabulary consists of "Robble-Robble"

He's had a rough go as most of you know, after serving 20 years for grand theft sandwich. But having paid his debt to society, he was free to meet with me at one of the Starbucks that will allow us to sit there and just drink water.

I told him that the MLB is a lot like the game of Monopoly.

At the deadline, the Padres traded for Park Place, Boardwalk, Pennsylvania Av, North Carolina Av, Pacific Av., put hotels on all of them, and then bought the Reading Railroad just for the hell of it.

The Brewers on the other hand, traded them Pacific Av for one of those cheapie purple ones (Janesville Av?) when you pass Go along with The Electric Company and a Get out of Jail Free Card. The Get out of Jail Free Card of course representing Matt Bush (Low blow Goofpal, not a comment from a vessel of love).

He nodded along but I'm pretty sure he had no idea what the hell I was talking about so I summed it up. The Brewers will never have Park Place and Boardwalk, but could still win the game with some luck and their opponents landing on their purple ones.

Now why you would mortgage the Electric Company right after you traded for it, that's a head-scratcher!

Yours Honkily,

Cyber Goofpal